


Strong Enough

by Lolanae



Series: Aspects of Human Nature [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Anxiety, Canonical Character Death, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Nightmares, Post Season/Series 01, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Season/Series 01, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 06:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 56,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/821099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolanae/pseuds/Lolanae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity sees more of Oliver than he realizes.  She thinks he has everything, but she is wrong.  Oliver wonders if he is strong enough to keep going with being the Hood.  He finds hope in Felicity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everything

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fan fic. I did not have any betas, so any mistakes are mine. Thank you for reading.

Felicity sat at the computers typing away. Diggle went home to Carly hours ago, and Oliver was on a date with McKenna. Felicity was taking the down time to put together some backups of basic information just in case they needed to leave things quickly. Never bad to be over prepared, especially with the rate that Oliver was stirring up the bad element of Starling City. Plus, Felicity was bored, and when she got bored, she got curious. Which lead to googling, and maybe a little hacking. The guys should have known to never let her get bored. Felicity could not help but giggle to herself.

She scrolled through some web sites about Oliver. One piece of information caused her to stop, "He forgot his own birthday? December 9th. That was months ago! Who forgets their own birthday, especially after five years of not really celebrating it?" Felicity babbled out loud, "Well, maybe that is why he forgot about it. Out of practice of taking time for himself. Who cares if it's months late, I think I'll try to find him a gift. That shouldn't be too weird, right? Nah, I don't think." She noticed that it was past three in the morning. "Gah! Felicity, time to go home to bed and atleast attempt to sleep."

She shut the computers down and turned the lights off on her way out. Her mind was mulling over ideas of a birthday gift for the one guy in Starling City that had everything that he wanted. What could she possible get him that he did not already own?

______________________________________________

After her run in with Helena, Felicity couldn't settle her mind enough to even think about sleep. She decided to wander the shops in the mall downtown. Her plain jane pony tail, shirt, and trousers did not stand out. Now, if someone looked down and saw her panda shoes, they might notice her, but outside of that, she was not noticeable. That was okay with her. She preferred her computers to people most days. 

One of the last stories she stopped in was a book store. Books were just about a good a computers. They allowed her to escape into a new world. Lightly running her fingers over the leather bound spines of the books on the shelves made her smile to herself. In the back corner of the store, there was something that caught her eye. "Perfect," she said, with a grin.

________________________________________________

Felicity walked into the Arrowcave early the next morning to get back to work. She had seen the news about McKenna, and Digg called her to tell her what wasn't on the news. No sign of Oliver yet. Felicity placed a package wrapped in brown paper that was tied with a dark green leather cording next to her on the desk. To her surprise, she heard the door click open at the top of the stairs, followed by Oliver's steps on the stairs.

"Oliv.." Felicity stopped abruptly when she saw his face. Tears clung to his eyes. His stoicism was broken. "Digg called me. I'm sorry about McKenna."

Oliver clinched his eyes shut and put his hand up, trying to get his composure back. "I just want to be alone, Felicity. I don't want to talk, okay?"

"Well, I have something I wanted to give you first, and something to say." 

"Can it please wait?" Oliver said, almost pleading, which caught Felicity off guard. 

She pushed her glasses back up on her nose as she turned to pick up the package. When she turned back to Oliver, he looked confused. "I got bored a bit ago, and might have googled you and Digg." Oliver tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, "Oh shush. You and Digg where out with Carly and McKenna." Oliver winced a little at that name. "Gah! I'm sorry, well anyway, what I was saying. I found your birthday. I realized that you did not even celebrate it. Come to find out you were being the Hood. I mean how does someone go five years with no birthday cake or presents and forget when he is back with civilization. I just don't unde.."

Oliver cut her off, "I didn't really have a reason to celebrate then nor now. It's just not a big deal."

That statement frustrated Felicity. "Oliver Queen, yes you do. You have a reason to celebrate. You are alive when many other people would be long since dead. I know more happened on that island than you have told anyone here. I've seen your scars. I've read your medical reports. Okay, so maybe I did more than google." Felicity admitted. "But I was worried about you. I see how much you hide. How much you keep in. How much you put up this stoic face to the world. I understand not wanting to talk, really I do. I mean, I prefer computers, and they don't talk back. Maybe beep at me. I'm rambling aren't I?"

Oliver snickered. Her rambling did make him happy. 

"My point, is this, I wanted to do something for you. I don't know how many people notice me, but I noticed you. I want to help, but I don't want to push. I am babbling again." Felicity sighed. "Just open it. I wrote a note in there. That's less babbly since I could read over it. I'll head out and pick up some lunch. Does that sound okay? Then I can work, and you can beat up one of the dummies or something like that."

Some company sounded nice. Especially company that wouldn't make him feel like the worst friend or push him to explain all his demons. Oliver smiled to himself.

"Deal." Felicity grabbed her purse and headed out.

Oliver looked down at the present in his hands, "Thank you again, Felicity."

"Let's wait until you open it first," she said as she walked out of the door.

_____________________________________________

The door snapped shut and the lock clicked. Oliver sat down on the floor with his back against one of the cement pillars. His bow crate laid open next to him. He tried to remember the last time he had been given a present, especially one that was a total surprise. Felicity was right, he had totally forgotten about his birthday.

Oliver pulled on the leather cording that held the brown paper tightly together. It was a small rectangle package. The brown paper easily unfolded to reveal a dark green leather bound journal. The color matched his hood. Inside, the pages were blank. A pen laid next to the book, and a note was tucked inside the front cover. For a moment, Oliver just stared. He had never been given a journal. The note was hand written. Felicity's cursive was pretty and in blue pen. This was such a personal gift. One full of thought. Not a bottle of wine, or a car, or something with a ticket price more than most people's yearly salaries. Oliver realized that he was smiling.

_Oliver -_

_I know you hide much of yourself. You always put everything and everyone before yourself. Your stoicism is amazing somedays. And there are somedays that I want to slap you to make you see that people do care about you. Wow, I can't believe I just wrote that! Back on topic! Until you can talk about it, write. Get it down. Get it out of your head. I hope this is a gift you like. I mean, you have everything. I just know that I like being able to have one safe place to go to help clear my head. You are not alone, Oliver Queen. Not alone to deal with your nightmares. I would be lying if I wasn't curious about your scars or the years on the island. It's not my story to ask about, though. I just wanted you to know someone noticed you. Not the Hood. Not the playboy. Just you. Happy Birthday, Oliver Queen._

_~Felicity_

Oliver's hand was shaking by the time he read the last words of her note. He felt tears roll down his cheeks as he leaned his head back against the pillar. She had noticed so much about him in such a short time. It was so new to just be noticed for himself. Not the Oliver from before or the Hood of now. Felicity was wrong about one thing though, he did not have everything. Well, at least not until now. He now had someone that he felt could be one of his closest friends. He needed that. A best friend he didn't have to lie to. Someone he could be completely honest with. Someone that wouldn't push him to tell the stories of his nightmares. Someone that would help keep him grounded. Oliver let himself smile at that thought as he put the journal and note in the crate with his bow. It would be safe there with the rest of the things he held dear.


	2. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity sees a side of Oliver no one really has, and it terrifies Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this sort of ran away with itself from what I originally imagined, but I love where it ran. Thank you for reading and I hope you like it. Timeline wise, this takes place the night after Oliver saves Roy from the Savior.

Oliver opened his eyes. Beads of sweat burned his eyes. His heart began to race realizing that his hands were tied above his head. Fyres held a picture in front of his face, "Do you know the man in this picture?"

It took ever ounce of strength Oliver had left to maintain some type of composure. The man in the photo had helped him. _Saved him._ He couldn't betray that. Fyres nodded slightly, moving out of the way for the masked man with the swords. Before Oliver could prepare for what was coming, the blade pierced his abdomen. He let out a blood curdling scream. The second stab came in at his upper left chest. Stings of pain radiated from the wounds. Oliver had never felt pain like this. He felt the blood dripping down under his button up shirt. Oliver let his eyes shut to keep the tears in.

When he opened them back up, he was in a ring of swords. Yao Fei in front of him. Panic. Betrayal. Oliver wanted to run, but he couldn't. Trapped, he tried to fight. He felt Yao Fei's tight arms wrap around him. He thought he heard someone yelling his name in the distance. Fighting harder to try to shake Yao Fei off of him.

____________________________

 

"OLIVER!" Felicity kneeled down beside the sofa in the back of the Arrowcave. She had come in to find Oliver in a cold sweat, asleep. "Oliver. It's Felicity. You are safe. You are home. Wake up!" He was starting to scare her. Not in the sense that she fear him, but that she did not know how to help him. "Oliver, please. Wake up. You are safe. You are in the foundry. Under Verdant. Your quirky babbling IT girl is here babbling to you while you sleep. Wake up, Oliver, please!" Felicity whispered to him as she went to hug him. "Oliver, wa..."

Oliver shot up off of the sofa. He punched Felicity in the face, before pushing her away. She fell back on to the floor with a thud, as Oliver retreated to the back corner of the room. He bent his knees in front of him and rocked gently. "Wake up," he gritted through his teeth. 

Felicity adjusted her glasses. She watched Oliver. It reminded her of shows she watched on Discovery when she was a kid. The wounded animal hunched in the corner, lashing out when it was scared. She sat there, watching Oliver Queen, the Hood, the bravest man she knew, crying and shaking. Felicity picked up the blanket off of the sofa and walked over to Oliver quietly.

"Oliver, it's Felicity. It's okay." She whispered as she sat down in front of him.

He had his head down on his knees. If there was ever a time that Felicity would have killed for one of those Easy buttons from the commercials - this was it. No one deserved this. Oliver was a mystery, and she hated mysteries. She always wanted to solve them, but this was one she couldn't solve until Oliver wanted it to be. Felicity knew she could be okay with that. 

"Oliver..."she whispered as she lightly touched his hand. "I'm going to wrap this blanket around you, then go get you some water. Okay?" She tightly squeezed what fingers of his hand she could grab. Oliver's head snapped up. His green eyes read a state of panic that she had never seen from them. He squeezed her hand back tightly. Felicity smiled. "Welcome back," she said softly.

_________________________________

Inside of his head, Oliver pleaded for the images to stop. To his heart beat to slow down. For the shivering to stop. He just wanted to sleep. He needed to sleep. It was Russian roulette to close his eyes. He wished he could just be numb and not feel. He held his knees tightly to his chest with his head resting on them. "Wake up..." he kept telling himself.

Then he heard her voice. Felicity. _Shit._ He did not want her to see him like this. He wanted no one to see this side of him. His mother and Walter did, and they looked at him so terrified. As if he were damaged beyond repair. _Broken._ Lost in the darkness of purgatory forever. He kept his head down. Maybe she was a dream, as well. Then he felt the warmth of her hand on his fingers. The sensation of that touch warmed him. He snapped out of it and looked up at her. She smiled softly, "Welcome Back." Gently Felicity wrapped the blanket around his shirtless body. Oliver pulled it in tightly. 

As Felicity stood up, Oliver noticed she was bleeding. He grabbed her wrist to stop her. "Did I hurt you?" He stammered in a panic. "I'm so sorry, Felicity." He pulled her back down in front of him. His hand went to a gash of torn skin near her left eye brow. Oliver started crying. "I am so sorry. Things like this are why I need to be alone." 

Felicity slapped him - hard - across his face. Oliver shook his head in surprise. "Oliver Queen. You do NOT need to be alone. Did it ever cross your mind that the people that want to be around you, want you in their lives, know that you have baggage? And that regardless of that knowledge, they still want you in their lives? They want to be there to take that two am phone call when you can't sleep. Or be the one that prepares the Doctor Who and ice cream marathon when you have a bad week?"

Oliver just watched her. This fiesty blonde, who had now seen him at his worst and his lowest, yet she showed no fear of him. She was also the only person to ever be able to ground him like she does, even if it pisses him off to no end some days.

"Now, I figured when my super hero boss punched me, that I would end up with some cut of something. It will heal in a few days. If it will help you feel better, you can play doctor with me like I did with you." Felicity started blushing before the statement completely left her lips.

Oliver couldn't help himself, "But you aren't shot or topless..."

"Don't make me slap you again, Oliver."

"Yes, ma'am." He smirked. _I never want to be without you, Felicity Smoak._ Oliver thought to himself. Not even Tommy could call him on his bullshit like this pony tailed blonde could.

"Now, if you would like, I will go get you some water. You get the first aide stuff for my head, and we'll fix me up. Then I'll stay here tonight. I don't care if you sleep, continue your shirt allergy, go on a homicidal rampage of the local tennis ball population, who cares...You will not be alone tonight, okay?"

Her babbling. Oliver smiled. "Deal. Not like I'd let you drive anyway with that head injury. I don't know if I could get back to sleep again tonight though."

"Good thing I gave you other options, isn't it?" Felicity smirked.

After the past few weeks - McKenna, Helena, The Savoir, Tommy, Laurel - Felicity was a welcome change. She had more strength in her than you could tell by her outside appearance. Oliver wonder at times if she was braver than him. 

_______________________________

Felicity sat at her computers while Oliver bandaged up the cut. It had stopped bleeding on it's own, so it didn't need stitches. He still felt so horrible that he had harmed her. The skin under her eye was already bruising. "Stop worrying, Oliver." Sometimes he wondered if he was an open book to her.

Oliver handed her two Tylenol. "These should help. Let me know if the headache gets worse, okay?" Oliver said not trying to hide the concern in his voice.

"I will," Felicity nodded. "I'm going to work some. I'll be here if you need me, okay?"

Oliver nodded in returned. He liked that thought. Just having someone there. He knew he couldn't go back to sleep right now. No matter how much Felicity had snapped him back to reality, it still scared him to close his eyes again just yet. He walked past the box that held his bow. The journal that Felicity gave him still sat in there. Oliver hadn't written in it yet. Honestly, he was afraid to, and he had not touched it since he thanked Felicity for it. But after tonight and after Diggle's talk yesterday, he decided to give it a try. Out of the two of those reasons, hurting Felicity was the tipping point. He could protect them from the evil of the city, but he was not sure of his ability to keep them safe from himself. 

Oliver took the journal and pen back to the sofa where Felicity found him a short time ago. He sat down and opened it up. The note Felicity wrote him was still in there, so he tucked it into between pages in the back to keep it safe. Oliver looked up at Felicity. He could see her working away. Oliver knew she saw him pick up the journal, yet her focus never drifted to him. She gave him the privacy he desperately needed for this. With a sigh he closed his eyes for a moment. Opening them back up, he began writing:

_My name is Oliver Queen. For five years, I was stranded on an island with only one goal - survive. The island of Lian Yu changed me. It still haunts my nightmares. I've changed. I'm different. Better, yet worse. While I might be back in civilization, I'm still very much damned to Lian Yu. To Purgatory. Limbo. And I don't want to be on an island anymore..._

__________________________

It was past midnight when Felicity looked up from the panels of computers. Oliver had fallen asleep writing in his journal. She smiled as he seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Taking her glasses off and laying them down on the desk, she got up and turned off the lights around the foundry. The soft glow of the computer monitors was the only light left. Oliver hadn't budge at the environment change. She gently picked up the journal and pen from his lap, placing it on the ground by the sofa. It did not even cross her mind to read it. She was just glad he wrote _something_ down. 

Felicity grabbed a blanket for herself from the storage room. She slipped out of her dress and into some of her work out clothes she kept there for defense training. If she was sleeping here tonight, she might as well be as comfortable as she could be. Office attire was not exactly pjs! Felicity walked through the darkness back to Oliver on the sofa. She sat on the opposite end, turned towards him, watching him until she fell asleep herself.

_________________________

Oliver woke up a few hours later. Blinking his eyes, he played over last night in his mind. He saw Felicity was still there, asleep, on the sofa with him. He winced when he saw that she now had a black eye. Something was different - her glasses. He hadn't seen her without them since they went after the Dodger. That was the first night she took him by surprise.

As Oliver went to stand up, Felicity woke up. "Good morning," she mumbled. "Please tell me you have coffee here, somewhere."

Oliver couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, but first, Felicity?"

"Yeah?"

"Good news or bad news first?"

"Oh I really hate this game as a kid. Good news."

"Thank you for last night. And thank you for the journal. I started writing in it. I'm sorry I haven't thanked you really properly before now outside of a simple thank you the day you gave it to me. It's probably the best gift I've gotten, ever." Oliver noticed her cheeks flush.

"You are very welcome," she stammered. "And I know you wrote last night. I saw." Felicity said. A slight wave of panic washed Oliver's face. "I did not read it. Never will. Unless you tell me it is okay. I won't do to you what my mom did to me and read your personal writings. I mean, I know from experience that sucks. But I can understand your fear. I did hack your private records out of boredom. I'm still sorry about that. This is different though. You can trust me. You know that, right?" Oliver smirked and nodded. "Oh good. I'll stop babbling now. Hit me with the bad news."

"I'm sorry I gave you a black eye." Oliver said bluntly, pointing to her left eye.

"DUDE! I have a black eye!?" Felicity gasped, jumping off of the sofa to run to the bathroom. Oliver's blood went cold instantly. He knew she would be afraid of him now. He waited impatiently outside the bathroom. "That is so cool," she said as she came out of the bathroom. "I've never had a black eye before! You popped my cherry! Oh argh...gah...no...that sounds horrible. I mean, I'm not a virgin. I mean I've never had a black eye before now...I'm just going to shut up and go make coffee."

And for the first time in days, Oliver chuckled. He stopped chuckling suddenly when he saw Digg coming down the stairs. "Woah...Felicity, what happened?" 

"Oh, I pulled an all nighter at the computers. Got bored. Went exploring. Tried to play with the sticks Oliver and you use. Which I'd like to lodge a complaint against one of them. It hurt me. Oliver fixed me up, then properly beat the stick up for me to avenge my honor." Felicity babbled away.

All Oliver could think was that she was protecting him from having to answer questions, and he was so very thankful for that. He also saw just what Felicity meant when she said she lied better than he did.


	3. Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver finally thanks Felicity for what she's given him. It might easily be the most nerve racking mission yet for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this idea partly from a reviewer on ff.net that wondered how the thank you for the journal would go. In Oliver fashion, late and with style. I've been sick today, so I'm sorry if this part goes a little off. This picks up right where Chapter 2 leaves off. Thank you for reading!

"Leave it to you, Felicity," Diggle chuckled. "I guess we'll cancel today's training."

"That sounds like a plan, but can you promise to show me how to beat that stick up on my own for the next time?" 

"Sure," Diggle nodded. 

"Hey Digg," Oliver said as he sat down at the computers. He had his hooded sweatshirt on, and the hood pulled over his head.

"You okay, man?" Diggle asked.

Oliver shook his head yes, "Just woke up with a bit of a headache." He looked up at his partner, "Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, name it."

"Can you drive Felicity home?" Oliver asked.

"HEY! I can drive myself home just fine." Felicity snapped. "I have a black eye. It's not like I'm missing a limb."

"Felicity, I would feel better if just this once, you'd let Digg drive you home. Please?" Oliver asked, with an honest concern in his voice. 

After a brief moment, Felicity relented, "I'm too tired to argue after staying up all night. I'll get you back later." She smirked, turning to Digg, "I can atleast walk to my door on my own, right?"

"We'll see," Digg laughed as he started to head out. 

Felicity went back to the computers to get her purse. Oliver whispered, "Thank you for last night." She stopped to look at him for a brief moment.

"No need to thank me. Any friend worth their salt would have done the same. Don't get into trouble today, okay?" Felicity smirked.

"I promise to be good." Oliver grinned.

"Sometimes I do honestly wonder about your definitions of words." She said, sticking her tongue out, then turning to go find Digg.

____________________________  
 _She is wrong_ , Oliver thought to himself as he stared at the staircase she had just disappeared from. Felicity Smoak was not a normal friend. Not by any definition. Not a single one of his other friend's would have been able to still look at him the same after what they saw last night. Tommy only learned about Oliver's secret and had been distant ever since. Their life long friendship was forever changed. Felicity fascinated Oliver in her ability to handle anything, even if you could tell she was nervous. If Oliver wanted to be brave and admit it, not even Laurel had seen him or would ever see him as open and vulnerable as Felicity had hours ago. Some days he did question if he really still loved Laurel or the idea of what he had 5 years ago. 

Shaking his head, Oliver got up from the computers and took his hoodie off. He walked over to the salmon ladder and began to climb it. _I want to do something to repay her_ , he thought as he hung from the bar, half way up. Five more hops later, _But what do I get her? Or do?_ As Oliver hung upside down from the top, he realized just how strange Felicity was when you compared her to others in his life. She would not be easily amused by some expensive item, fancy sushi, or a night at the clubs. He honestly had never known a girl like her, let alone one that he was friends with. It was refreshing for him for a girl to not want him for money or sex or to push him to talk about the island. 

Oliver back flipped down from the top of the salmon ladder. His mind retraced the times he had interacted with Felicity to see if he could catch a hint of something he could do. He knew better than try to buy her a piece of computer equipment, because it would without a doubt be wrong. Though, Oliver did chuckle thinking about Felicity ranting at him, then feeling bad ranting about a gift, then apologizing, then thanking him. It had possibilities just to witness the aftermath, he grinned to himself. Then it hit him. _Perfect!_

He went to go get showered and changed. It was time to surprise Felicity Smoak and properly thank her for being the best friend he had in his life.

_______________________

 

Oliver checked his phone. 10 p.m. He stood on a roof top with a pair of binoculars looking across the street into an apartment building. In the street below, a delivery van stopped in front of the building. Oliver watched the driver get out with a package. He followed him into the building and wait for him to pop up in the hall way of the top floor. This was not the first night Oliver stood on a roof top watching someone, but for some reason this one had his nerves on edge. 

The delivery guy reached his destination. Oliver smiled. _Of course, she's still awake._ A small gasp escaped Oliver's lips. The Felicity he saw was not the one he was used to. Her hair was braided in pigtails, not it's usual tidy pony tail. She wore baggy pjs with some cartoon character on them and a t-shirt with a blue box on it that would have easily fit him. He couldn't help but smile at downtime Felicity. This girl never failed to catch him off guard. 

Felicity took the box from the delivery guy and shut the door. Oliver could see her walk in the kitchen and place the box down. She pulled a card out from under the dark green ribbon that surrounded the box. The smile on her face made Oliver's day. _Oh open it already_ , he thought. Patience was not his virtue, even after five years on an island. As if she had heard him, she opened it.

________________________

To say that she was shocked to get a surprise from Oliver Queen would be the understatement of a century. Her mind kept thinking about how many girls would kill to be in her spot. The note was hand written in black pen. Oliver's writing was a little messy, yet strong. 

_Felicity -_

_I wanted to thank you for last night and for the journal. I'm sorry it took me so long to really thank you for your gift. You were wrong about me having everything. I don't. You did give me something I've never had - a best friend that I can be open with. I hope you know how much that means. Thank you, and enjoy your surprise._

_~Oliver_

For a few moments, Felicity just looked at the note. She could tell her jaw was open. _Best friend._ That was something she never expected to be called by Oliver, but she loved the thought. After placing the note on the kitchen counter, she untied the dark green ribbon. Opening the box, she saw a bottle of wine.

"Oh, he didn't..." Felicity whispered. She pulled the bottle all the way out of the box and started giggling happily. "1982..." Felicity grinned, "So he didn't forget." She set the bottle of wine down and hopped over to her cabinet to get a wine glass and corkscrew. 

______________________

Oliver's nerves calmed watching his blonde friend bouncing around her kitchen. It took him about ten minutes to get back to where he had parked his motorcycle. He felt his cellphone buzz in his pocket. A text message.

"You remembered, and you are very welcome. See you tomorrow. ~F" 

Oliver grinned.


	4. Failed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity goes under cover in the casino, and for the first time since the island, Oliver feels completely out of control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next will focus on mainly Oliver's point of view of the episode "The Undertaking." I also try to fill in somethings like how he got changed so quickly when Felicity needed him. I don't anything Arrow, just enjoy writing with the characters. Thank you all for reading. =) Let me know if you have any prompts.

Awkward was the only word that Oliver could think listening to Felicity talk to Laurel. Felicity saying she was nobody, and Oliver not being able to say out loud that Felicity was his friend. Not to mention the added fact that Laurel was telling Oliver about being upset over Tommy, and then telling her to go talk to Tommy. Work it out. _Do what we should have done...talk to each other._ All while wanting to blurt out that he still loved her. Today was shaping up to be a mess of a day. At least Felicity was still talking to him, even though she called him on his bullshit with Dig. Oliver just pursed his lips together as Laurel said good bye and thank you for the advice. He followed Felicity downstairs.

"Please tell me you got in." 

"Something better," Felicity said, grabbing a sheet of paper off of the printer. 

Oliver looked at the paper and did his best to bite back the frustration. "Felicity, What good does that do us if we don't know who's money it was?"

The look on Felicity's face told Oliver she was not going to budge from this. She pointed to the bottom of the page. "Two million on Decem..." Oliver froze for a split second, "December 12th. That's..."

"The day Walter disappeared," Felicity finished. She went on to muse how if they could find out who the money came from, they could find out who kidnapped Walter. Felicity sat down at her computers and began typing. Oliver stood next to her, and for a split second wondered if she'd keep her word about leaving once Oliver was found. He shook his head to regain his focus.

"Dominic Alonzo" Felicity said, and Oliver instantly groan.

"Alonzo runs the biggest underground casino in Starling City," Oliver paused for a moment, "When he is not busy kidnapping people."

Felicity started to bring up how they could use Diggle, "Enough. We can do this on our own." Oliver snapped. He felt bad about it, but he honestly did not want to talk about friends in his life that were mad at him right now.

"Okies, looks like someone is going gambling tonight," Felicity said, rather matter of factly, which caught Oliver's attention.

"Those guys would make me the minute I walked in there. Oliver," he motioned to himself, "Queen wouldn't be caught dead in there." Some days Oliver hated his multiple faces.

"I wasn't talking about you," Felicity smirked.

Oliver's nerves lit up, "Absolutely not." He was fine with Felicity helping on the computers, but after the Dodger, the thought of her undercover set him on edge.

Felicity started talking about her ability to count cards. She was so certain of herself. No babbling or rambling. Oliver just watched her. _I can't let her do this. There has to be another way. HAS to be._ His mind raced over different ideas while trying to also pay attention to Felicity. They had to get to that computer. Felicity could not hack in from the foundry. Just going in all Hood wouldn't help either. They would destroy the computer before Oliver could get to it, if he could even make it solo. He sighed and looked at the article about Walter pulled up on the computer screen. Then he turned to Felicity, "Alright, but we do it my way."

Oliver noticed her slightly biting her bottom lip. Her tell for being nervous. _Sigh. I'm sending my best friend into the lion's den. I can't lose someone else._

__________________

Felicity walked out of the back room of the foundry wearing a slinky red dress Oliver had never seen her in. It clung to every curve of her body, while the neckline dipped down, teasing at her cleavage. Her blonde curls were swept to the side, pinned behind her head in someway that he couldn't see. For the first time, he caught himself really looking at Felicity. 

"What? Did I smear my make up or have some sort of wardrobe malfunction?" Felicity asked, looking up at Oliver.

"Huh..uh..no," Oliver stuttered. He realized he had stopped in the middle of getting dressed to stare at Felicity. His cheeks flushed a little as he turned his back to her, putting his shirt and sweater on. His clothes made him feel awkward. From head to waist - the playboy attire of Oliver Queen. From wait down - The leather pants and boots of the Hood. The more he thought about this plan, the more he hated it. _I can't let her do this, but if I don't go with her, she'll go alone. I know it. Dammit._

Oliver was so lost in his head that he didn't hear Felicity walk up behind him. Her touch on his arm was surprising. _New._ When he turned around, he couldn't help but crack a smile. His usually quirky Felicity was replaced with one very sure of herself and very beautiful. _Stop it_ , he thought to himself. "I'm ready to go when you are," she said.

He turned to pick up the duffel bag stuffed full with his bow, quiver, and hood. Closing his eyes for a moment. _Please let her make it out of this alive. I can't have her blood on my hands._ "Let's go," he half sighed as he turned around. Oliver did not remember the last time he worried this much and felt completely out of control of the situation. 

___________________

Oliver parked his care half a block away from the underground casino. As they walked down the alleyway leading to it, Felicity kept going over the plan. He stopped her, and she looked up at him. Oliver saw how hard she was trying to stay calm. He admired how brave she was being tonight. It was a strength he first caught wind of the night with the Dodger. "If anything happens, I'll be right outside."

Felicity nodded and walked the rest of the way by herself as Oliver went to find a perch in the fire escape across the street.

_____________________

"Snapdragon," Felicity replied to the doorman, and then she was out of Oliver's sight. In his ear, he heard her describe the security detail for her. "No slot machines," she began to ramble. 

"Focus, Felicity." Oliver snapped.

"It's nice having you inside me." Felicity whispered, and then began to stumble over her own train of thought. 

Oliver bite down on his own lip so hard that he tastes blood. He wanted to yell at her to focus. To calm down. To stay alive. _I hate this_ , he thought. When Felicity said she was just going to stop talking, Oliver snapped back "That'd be my preference." He hated the coldness in his voice towards her. _I'm worried, Felicity. Please just focus_ , he wanted to say.

Keeping an eye on the front door, Oliver listened to Felicity. She found her zone once she sat down at the table. Like if a switch flipped. _I wonder if that's what I sound like to her._ Her giggle when she won made him smile. "You can do this," he whispered before he remembered about the comlink.

___________________

Time froze, "Miss, come with me," Oliver heard a male voice say to Felicity. The next sound was her voice. He could hear her nerves. His blood ran cold again. His muscles tensed. His hand tightened around his duffel. 

"Stay calm, Felicity." Oliver said softly. He hated waiting and not having eyes on what was happening.

 _Almost done. Almost out of there._ Oliver kept repeating in his head, and then he heard Alonzo, "Oh yeah, Megan, one more thing. You see, the thing about card counters is that sometimes they worked with a partner." _Then silence._

Oliver grabbed his duffel and ran to the roof. He replaced his jacket and sweater with his hood. Quickly he smeared on the green grease he used to conceal his eyes, then latched his quicker to his back. _Please don't kill her_ , Oliver thought. He tried to reign in his emotions, _his anger_ , but he couldn't. Breaking into a full run, Oliver headed down the fire escape.

__________________

Oliver was naturally deadly when it comes to his skill as a fighter and archer. Logical. Patient, even. _"Give into your senses, don't think."_ One of his first lessons about archery. This time was different. This time was new. This time he was saving someone he cared about. Emotions came into play no matter how much Oliver tried to force them out. The last time he was in a situation similar to this was when he and Tommy had been kidnapped. That was three guys. Where as this was an under ground casino full of armed, well trained guards, and Felicity waiting in the very back with the man that had most likely kidnapped Walter.

He let his instincts take over. Things became a blur of gun shots, broken glass, and screams. Oliver stopped thinking and reacted. He did not aim for the safe spots. The spots that would keep him from killing the person. He just fired on the target. One more person knocked down to get him closer to where Felicity was. He had to keep moving. _Shoot. Move. Shoot. Move. Stop thinking. She's alive. Has to be._

The door to Alonzo's office only took one kick to break open. A mixture of thoughts slammed Oliver's brain when he saw the gun to Felicity's head. _She's alive._ He did not let himself think about how this was not the first time a girl he cared about had been in this position. Felicity closed her eyes as Oliver drew the arrow back and released. It hit the bull's-eye of the dart board behind Alonzo.

"I heard you never missed," Alonzo smirked.

"I don't," Oliver replied. His voice scratchy and precise. 

The trick arrow exploded. Felicity hit the floor, while Alonzo fell into his desk. Oliver picked him up and slammed him into the wall. "Where is Walter Steele?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Six months ago you had him kidnapped," Oliver yelled.

"It was a job. I was given a name. I didn't ask any questions."

Oliver started to choke Alonzo. He was so focused on getting an answer that he forgot Felicity was watching. "Last chance. Where is he?"

"Below ground."

"You are lying!" Oliver snapped. _Please be lying. ___

__"I delivered him, and they killed him," Alonzo said trying to catch what breath he could._ _

__"I heard the gun shot. He's dead."_ _

___No. I failed._ Oliver thought, before he knocked Alonzo out. He stood there a moment, closing his eyes. Catching his breath. Remembering that Felicity was behind him. _I failed to do the one thing I promised her. I'm going to lose her._ Oliver reached up to pull back his hood as he turned to his friend. Felicity was doing everything she could to bite back the tears in her eyes. Every muscle in his body screamed at him to go hug her, but he was terrified to budge from where he stood. _I'm sorry_ , he thought._ _


	5. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver's world begins to shatter as things are uncovered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This finishes up the "Undertaking" episode arc. The next chapter will be a conversation I think would have been neat to see in the show. Thank you for the views. =) I'm welcome to feed back. After Chapter 6, this will cross into finale territory, so if you haven't seen that yet, just a heads up.

Felicity sat in the passenger's seat of Oliver's BMW. Her brain was still trying to process what had happen. _He is dead._ Oliver had not said a word since they left the casino. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw him take out a cloth from one of the pockets of his leather pants. Felicity watched him wipe the green grease from his face. His eyes looked sad and far off. She wished he would just say something. He pulled off the hood and replaced it with his shirt and sweater from earlier. Felicity guessed he would change the rest later. 

"Let me take you home," Oliver whispered. His voice sounded so emotionless. 

"I need my car, Oliver. Take me back to Verdant." Felicity looked at him, "Plus, you need to change."

The look on Oliver's face was like he had forgotten that he was still part Hood at the moment. Felicity wished she could read minds. _Talk to me_ , she thought. _I need to know I'm not the only one upset._ But, she was not going to push him. This Oliver scared her more than the one from the night she got the black eye. A shell with no emotion, just action. Oliver had his hands on the steering wheel, just looking at the city blanketed by night. Felicity reached out and touched his hand, "Oliver, it wasn't your fault." She squeezed his fingers like she had that night. Oliver just closed his eyes.

____________________

He liked the feeling of her squeezing his fingers. It felt like the pressure from his bow string. _Natural and real. Something that seemed to bring him back to reality. The calm side of the coin to his nights at the Hood._ "I'm sorry, Felicity. I'm sorry I could not find Walter in time." Oliver whispered as he squeezed her hand back. He knew he probably squeezed it too hard, but she did not flinch. Physical contact, outside of fighting, was still tough for him to judge. Oliver held on tightly to her hand. _Don't leave_ , was all he could think. "I guess tonight will be your last night helping?" He whispered again. Oliver feared if he talked louder, he voice would break. 

"No. I'm to far into this, Oliver. I have to see it through. Mysteries need to be solved, and I can't rest until I know _why_ Walter had to die." Felicity looked at her hand, still tight in Oliver's grasp, now in his lap. "You haven't lost me yet, Oliver Queen."

He nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. _That was the best news all night_. "Thank you," he said as he released her hand to start the car.

_____________________

Oliver followed Felicity home on his motorcycle. She protested, but he wanted to make sure she was safe. Afterwards, he went on to Queen Manor to tell his mom and Thea. Oliver could have made it there in ten minutes, but he took the long way. He had to calm his head first before this. _Before breaking their world apart again_. Oliver had his gear in his duffel on his back so it would be at home if he needed it, but he had no idea what could drag him away from home after he delivers this news.

After stashing his duffel in the garage with his motorcycle, Oliver went to find his mother and sister. He heard their giggles and happy voices from the hallway. _I have to be the one to do this_. Oliver stopped for a moment and took a deep breath before walking in.

Thea picked up on something being wrong instantly. "What's wrong, Ollie?"

"I need to talk to you both," he replied, evenly. "It's about Walter."

Oliver told them the story he had rehearsed since Verdant. He even ran it by Felicity. She double checked to make sure Diggle did have an FBI connection. All bases were covered. Oliver kept his eyes locked on his mother. Thea would see through him. 

"No, no, this isn't right," Moira said. "I've got to go."

"Where, Mom?" Oliver asked.

"Out. I need some air."

"Mom, you're in shock." Oliver said as he stood up.

"Don't tell me what or how I feel, Oliver," she snapped back before leaving.

Oliver turned back to Thea, "Why is she acting like that?" She asked.

Diggle's words about his mom invaded his thoughts as he hugged Thea to comfort her. "Listen to me, Speedy. I'm going to go after Mom to make sure she's okay. You stay here. I'll call you when I catch up with her."  
Thea nodded. "I'll stay here in case she comes back."

Oliver kissed her forehead and rushed off to the garage. He quickly changed and stashed his clothes in a storage room no one ever went into. _I hope Diggle is wrong._

_________________

_She betrayed us_ , was the only thought in Oliver's head as he stormed into the foundry. His world was shattering. Diggle was right. Oliver slid down one of the concrete pillars near the computers. He hadn't bothered to turn on any of the lights. The only thing he could hear was the distant beat of the music upstairs at Verdant and the hum of Felicity's computers. His mind played over and over what he had heard while perched on the roof top across from Malcom Merlyn's office. "We had a deal," his mother said.

Oliver sat on the floor just trying to make sense of this night. He had not even changed out of his Hood get up. He was trying so hard to resist the urge to go put an arrow into his mother's chest. 

The snap of the light switch being flipped did not phase him. He kept looking straight ahead as Felicity's voice hit his ears. _She came back_. Felicity was musing on things that maybe she could have done differently. "I can't imagine what your family is going through," she said as she sat her purse down on the table across from him. _How do I tell her this?_ He shook his head slightly and decided to stick to the facts, "Walter is alive."

"What, but Alonzo said.."

Oliver interrupted her, "I need you to pull up Malcom Merlyn's phone records. He made a call from his office to where ever Walter is being kept at 10:30 p.m." He still kept his eyes straight ahead.

"Malcom Merlyn...Tommy's Father? Why would he kidnap Walter?"

"Felicity..." Oliver just looked at her. _Not now, please_ , he thought.

He watched Felicity sit down and begin typing. Oliver could now see her completely. She had changed back into _his_ Felicity. That was a comfort to him. _Normal. Constant. Warm._

It did not take long for Felicity to find the answers Oliver needed. He felt his anger rise. Of all the people he thought he would have to contend with when he started this mission, his mother was no where near on his radar. Neither was his former best friend's father. As he heard his voice replying to Felicity, he knew it sounded very harsh. She did not seem to notice. 

Oliver hurried out of the foundry and hopped on his bike towards the airfield. He paid a pilot off to fly him over the complex in Bludhaven.   
___________________

Of all of Oliver's emotions, his anger was the most dangerous. It fueling his instincts with a blind rage. His heart beat raced as he breeched the compound where Walter was being held. For the second time that night, he found himself facing down a gamut of guards. Oliver fueled his attack with the anger about what his mother had done. With quick and precise moves he subdued all of the attackers. 

Walter was behind a locked door. When Oliver opened it, he just looked at him. Walter's conditions were just enough to sustain his life. Oliver hit the button to switch the voice modulator on, "Mister Steele," he whispered. "You're going home."

"How did you find me?" Walter asked.

"No time for all that. Let's get you out of here." Oliver said as he helped Walter up to his feet. He felt Walter look over at him with a wondering gaze.

"Oliver?" Walter asked.

He turned off the voice modulator, "Yes." Oliver did not have the strength to fight it tonight. Plus he knew in his gut that he could trust Walter.

"Thank you for saving me," was all Walter said in reply. 

__________________

"Hi Walter," Oliver said as he stood at the foot of Walter's hospital bed.

"Hello, son." Walter nodded at Oliver. 

Moira and Thea came in and hugged Walter. Oliver heard Felicity's voice at the door. 

"I'm sorry, who are you," Moira asked.

Oliver walked over to Felicity and put his hand on her back. He felt her muscles tense, and then relax as he rubbed it gently. "This is Felicity. She's my friend." As soon as the words left Oliver's lips, he realized it was the first time he had said them out loud. _I like the sound of that._

"Mine, too." Walter added, "It's good to see you."

"You, too," Felicity said as she placed the flowers down she had brought. "I'll let you get back to your hugging.

Part of Oliver wanted her to stay. As she walked out of the room passed him, she squeezed his fingers tightly. Oliver looked down at their hands for a brief moment before she broke the grasp and left. He kept the thought of her grasp in his mind to keep from falling apart.


	6. Conflicts and Comforts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Walter talk, then Felicity confronts Oliver in a way that only she can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place the night Walter is found. It's something that's been in my head. I hope you like it! The next chapter will contain finale stuff, maybe some before that. I'm not sure how I want to work it, and I have a few ideas. (If you can catch the slight Doctor Who reference in here, you get a cookie! I just tweaked one of my favorite quotes from there.) Thank you for reading!

Felicity stepped out of the elevator. Oliver had texted her that he told Walter's nurses she was allowed to visit, and since she couldn't sleep, she came back to the hospital. After months of worrying about her boss, she wanted to talk with him. Felicity lightly knocked on his door since it was past midnight. If Walter was asleep, she was just going to leave a note.

"Come in," Walter's British accent was there even in a whisper. 

Felicity smiled, "I did not want to bother you, but I couldn't sleep, and Oliver said that I could visit. I've been worried about you. I felt responsible in a way for you disappearing. I'm sorry. Oh gah, I'm rambling."

Walter snickered, "Come in, Felicity. Shut the door. I wanted to speak with you."

Felicity's heart skipped a beat. A _lot_ had changed since the night she helped Walter decode the notebook. Walter disappeared. Oliver confronted his mom as the Hood and got shot. She learned Oliver's secret. She went undercover to help find information about Walter. She helped Oliver finally find him. And she couldn't tell Walter any of this. Suddenly she had a new respect for what Oliver went through everyday someone mentioned the Hood.

Taking a deep breath, she sat down in a chair next to Walter's bed. Felicity had not even been back home, so she still wore the bright purple jacket and navy pencil skirt from earlier that evening. "How are you?" was all she could think to ask.

Walter smiled, "I'll live. Did you hear the Hood saved me?"

"That's what Oliver told me."

"I did not know you and Oliver knew each other." Walter asked, and Felicity instantly panicked.

"He has come to me for help a few times on technical stuff, and he asked me to help set up the internet at his club, Verdant." Felicity stuck to the facts. 

"I'm glad. Oliver can always use a good influence. How has he been?" Walter asked with genuine concern.

_Talk about loaded and complex question_ , she thought. "Honestly, better and worse. There is a lot that he keeps bottled up. I don't know if anyone else notices it. I've just picked up on things when I've worked with him. It seems like he is close to the edge, scratching at the only support he has to keep from falling into Oblivion." Felicity winced when she realized her mouth spoke before her brain thought. The look on Walter's face was one of happiness, though. 

"Sounds like you two have become rather good friends," he smirked, slightly.

Felicity couldn't hide her smile. "Yes, Oliver is probably my best friend."

"Felicity, I have one more question for you." 

"Sure." She felt her heart stop again. _He is the Hood, but don't ask me that, please._

"What happened to the notebook I gave you?" 

Felicity had been waiting for that question. "When you disappeared, Oliver was the only one I trusted to speak to about it. He took it and asked me what I knew about it. I could tell it upset him, but I don't know why it did." _Please believe that lie, Walter, please._ "I told him that I thought it put your life in danger, and that you thought it was Moira's. I did not know what else to do after there had been no word from you for weeks."

"Felicity," Walter whispered, "You did the exact right thing."

Felicity felt herself starting to breath again. "Good." _I wish I could tell you what a hero your step-son is._

"I need you to do something for me," Walter asked, after letting out a yawn.

"Keep an eye on Oliver for me. I know he won't open up to me, but I do care about him. I just want to make sure he is okay. Will you let me know if he ever needs help?" The look on Walter's face was one of a father talking about his son, not a spoiled playboy brat son of his best friend.

"I already am, and I will let you know." Felicity said as she stood up. "Get some sleep." 

They said their good byes, and she walked out of his room. Felicity knew she wouldn't be able to sleep so she decided to head to Verdant. When she got into her car, she reached in the back seat to put her purse there. Not that long ago, she found Oliver bleeding there. Felicity pulled out her cell and texted him.

"Just checking in, how are you? ~F"

A few seconds later, "I'm alive, but I don't want to talk about it, Felicity. ~O"

"Translation, you are beating yourself up in the basement of your club. Got it." Felicity snapped as she tossed the cell into the passenger seat. 

____________________

Felicity braced herself the moment she stepped in the side door of Verdant. The last few hours had been an emotional rollercoaster for Oliver and her. She knew he had it worse, since he found out just how deep his mother's betrayal went.

Just as she expected, he snapped at her the second he saw her, "I told you I did not want to talk, Felicity."

"Who said I wanted you to talk, Oliver?" Felicity said calmly. "I know I won't be able to sleep tonight, so I want to start researching what I can about what we found out tonight. Please feel free to continue whatever you were doing."

"I want to be alone, Felicity." Oliver said, standing under the salmon ladder.

Felicity walked over to the computer desk and placed her bag down, then took her jacket off. _Enough of this crap_ , she thought as she walked over to Oliver and stood right in front of him. "You are going to listen to me, Oliver Queen, and you do not have to talk. But you _HAVE_ to listen."

_____________________

Oliver braced himself for her to slap him again. He had never seen her angry, but he guessed this was it. _Her loud voice_ , he thought. The entire night had been such a mess of emotions, that he honestly did not want to talk, at all. _To Anyone_. But he'd listen to her at least.

"I told you that night that you did not need to be alone. That there are times in life that people need their friends. You've said that I was your best friend, please, let me be that then. I might not always do what you say, but I do what you need me to do. Tonight, you don't need to be alone. You found out some things tonight that no one deserves to have happen to them, on top of the crap you already had." She paused, "Tonight I got a taste of what you must deal with all the time. I spoke with Walter, and I couldn't tell him that I helped find him. You need at least one person in this world that you can come to regardless, Oliver. So, no, I don't care if you are silent for the entire evening. That's fine. I'll be over there at the computers." Felicity took a deep breath. _She's cute when she's angry_ , Oliver thought. "And frankly, I don't want to be alone tonight either. So we can be alone together in silence." Felicity stopped, wrinkling her lips at the last part.

_You're right_ , Oliver wanted to admit. He decided to leave the talk about Walter knowing for later. "You know I could literally pick you up and throw you out of here, right?"

"Yes, but you won't." Felicity stood her ground. 

"How do you know?" Oliver partly hated the calm confidence she had about her knowledge of him.

"Oliver, you have never intentionally harmed or hurt anyone you cared about. Sure, you've been an asshole. You've done some pretty low things that I won't list off. But I can not honestly believe that you intentionally set out to hurt people. I think you react a lot before you think. Trust me. I'm the girl that speaks 95% of the time before I think." Felicity grinned. "So no, you won't throw me out."

_Why aren't you afraid of me, Felicity? You've seen me at my worst, yet you still want to be around me._ Oliver thought, but when he heard her starting to talk, panic hit him. _I said it out loud._

"Everyone has their demons and fears. Even little old me. A dark side they tend to keep hidden. So your dark side might a slight bit larger than most people's, but that is no reason to shut yourself off from the world. I will be honest, you scare me more when you don't think or feel. You have no regard for your life when you get like that. Your emotions do not and never will scare me, Oliver." She put her hand on his cheek, "Plus, someone has to call you on your horrible bullshit lies." Felicity couldn't hide her smirk.

Her warm hand against his cheek was a welcome comfort. He pressed his cheek into it and closed his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered as he kissed her forehead.

"You're welcome," she smiled. "I'm going to go play with my computers, and let you get back to whatever arrow-y training things you are doing."

Oliver watched her walk away from him. _Felicity Smoak, having you as my best friend is the one thing I have done right and not destroyed since I got back_ , he thought.

___________________

Around four in the morning, Oliver came back down into the foundry. He had changed and went upstairs to help close down the club for the night. Oliver found Felicity asleep with her head on the computer desk. _You always keep your word to me, don't you?_

Oliver picked her up from her chair. She sleepily wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her to the sofa. Her head rested on his shoulder. He could feel her breaths on his neck. Part of him did not want to let her go as he gently laid her down. Oliver covered her in the same blanket she had used on him that night. He eased her glasses off of her face. "Good night, Felicity."

As Oliver turned off the lights on that end of the room, his brain sorted through the night again. From Walter, to his mother, to Malcom, to Laurel, to Felicity. He loved Laurel, but he also cared for Felicity. It was a different feeling for him. She just seemed to instinctively know what he needed. Oliver still couldn't believe he kissed her, even if it was just on the forehead. And how her touch calmed him. _Gah!_ Oliver shook his head and picked up the journal from his crate. He sat down at the desk to write some. Felicity was right, it helped some. He hated to admit she was right.


	7. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver's world completely crumbles before his eyes. Even with all that happened on the island, the night of the Undertaking brings Oliver to the lowest point in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *spoilers* From here on out, we're at the season finale and beyond. *spoilers*
> 
> This chapter starts off with a piece of writing from the journal, and the start of Oliver being in a very bad spot. It takes place well after the events of this chapter. My train of thought is Oliver remembering the events from some location. Plus, I wanted to make sure to keep the journal active in the story. I hope you enjoy this. Thanks for reading.

_I'm broken. Shattered. I can't be fixed. Felicity tried, but I got scared. Terrified. I ran. I broke my promise to her. My promise to not shut everyone out. To not put myself back on an island. To not be alone. I've been the cause of so much pain. I failed. I'm all alone again. I should have never come home from Lian Yu. I've burned so many bridges that I don't even think Felicity will try to save me. I'm a lost cause that needs to be forgotten. I wish I could forget her. The memory of her haunts me worse than the memory of Laurel. I shouldn't hope for her to come save me again. I don't deserve to be saved._

_______________

_Tommy._ Oliver tried to get Tommy out of CNRI, but the building started to cave in. Tears flowed from Oliver's eyes. Adrenaline was the only thing fueling his broken body as he climbed out of CNRI and into the back alley where his motorcycle was. _Laurel was safe_ , he thought. His brain was shutting down. The vibration of his cell snapped him out of it. _Diggle was safe._ It was a text from Carly that Diggle made it to her house. Oliver realized that it had been an hour since he had last heard from Felicity. His heart raced and his emotions took over. _I can't lose anyone else tonight. Not her._

The chaos of the Glades was a blur as he sped passed heading towards Verdant. He practically jumped off of his motorcycle and ran to the side door to the foundry. "FELICITY!" Oliver screamed as he attempted to open the door. Something was blocking it. Oliver gathered what little strength he had left and pushed the door open. He climbed in, and then locked the door behind him. 

The foundry had stayed in tact fairly well. Some random steel bars down, like the one across the door, and some concrete dust over the tables. But no Felicity. Oliver panicked. "Felicity, answer me!" He called out as he began frantically searching the rooms of the foundry downstairs. No sign of her. The tears returned to Oliver's eyes as his mind raced over the possible scenarios. _Did someone get her? Did she go out and try to find him and Diggle? Is she pinned under something somewhere in the Glades?_

"Felicity, please answer me," Oliver begged. "Please." He couldn't fight it anymore. Flashbacks of the night pounded through his brain. The island. He was shattering. "Felicity, please be here." He pleaded with the empty room, hoping she'd appear. "I can't see another friend die tonight." Oliver said as he started punching the concrete pillar closest to him, near the stairs. He couldn't stop himself. He wanted to kill something. He wanted to hurt. Emotions scared him. Five years on an island taught him to push them back. "Save me..."

His mind was dancing between Lian Yu and reality and imagination. A hand grasped the arm that was not punching the pillar. "Oliver!" He reacted, grabbing the person around the throat.

"Oliver, come back to me." The person choked out, as their small hands clawed at his. 

He felt the pressure on his fingers. "Oliver. Come back to me." They said again. He shook his head and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Oliver saw Felicity's neck in his hands. Instantly he released his grasp and started backing up from her. _Not again._ She matched his steps. "Oliver." She kept whispering his name. Her clothes were different. Work out clothes. She had changed out of her dress. "Oliver." He squeezed his eyes tightly. "You are safe now." She was close enough to grab his hand again. 

Oliver looked down at his hand. She was squeezing it harder than she ever had. He stopped and just looked at her. "He is dead," his voice cracked.

"I know," she whispered, her own tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. 

"I can't..." Oliver said, giving up. He grabbed her so tightly that it took her breath away, pulling her against his chest. Felicity hugged him back. Pain shot through his body from his injuries. He didn't break the hug. Oliver's strength gave away, and he collapse to the floor. Felicity followed, holding him tightly. Oliver sobbed uncontrollably in her grasp.

_________________

Felicity bit her bottom lip. She had to stop crying. _Like now._ Oliver was literally breaking in her arms. Verdant had survived the earthquake. She'd spent the last hour surveying the damage to the club as well as finding information on all of their loved ones and friends. When Oliver came back, she had been upstairs. This is not how she wanted her first real hug with Oliver to be, but she wasn't going to let go of him.

Felicity changed her grip to have her arms around his neck. Oliver kept his arms rightly around her torso like he was afraid she'd fade away. He had his head resting on her shoulder. Felicity gently pulled back his hood. "Look at me Oliver," she whispered. He didn't move. She put one hand on either side of his head and slowly lifted it. His bluish green eyes were red from his crying. "I'm okay. Nerves are a bit shot, but I'm physically okay." Felicity wait for some type of reply, but none came. He looked through her off into oblivion. "I have been trying to find out what I can about everyone, do you want to know?" He nodded his head softly. "Just stay with me, Oliver, okay?"

"Okay," he whispered, still clinging to her.

"Laurel is safe and at the hospital. Her father is with her." Felicity thought Oliver would want to hear about her first, and Oliver's wince caught her by surprised. _Now is not the time to ask_ , Felicity, she thought.

"Thea made it home. I double checked with Walter. Thea is safe." Oliver relaxed a little.

"Diggle is safe. He'll be in the hospital for a few days. Carly is with him." Oliver nodded.

Felicity's voice caught in her throat. She felt her eyes betraying her want to not cry in front of him. "Tommy's..." She felt Oliver starting to shake, "body was recovered from CNRI. Lance made sure of it." Tears ran down both their cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Oliver." Felicity whispered as she kissed his forehead and hugged him tightly again. He dropped his head back down on her shoulder. Felicity held him until he grew silent.

_____________________

Oliver couldn't cry anymore. He had lost track of how long he had been holding Felicity. She was the only thing keeping him here. She was reality. He focused on her touch to keep him from completely checking out. When he grew silent, she slowly pushed away. "No..." Oliver choked out. _I'll fall apart. You are holding me together._

Before he could pull her back into his chest, she saw the blood on her tank top. "You are bleeding, Oliver!" He had forgot about the stab wound. "I know you aren't going to let me get you to the hospital, so please let me check it."

The sight of the blood on her shirt scared him. "It's not your blood right?"

"No." She grabbed his hands. "I changed into these clothes before I went to check the damage to the club. Heels don't make for good earthquake shoes. This is your blood." She put her hand over the wound on the left side of his chest. "I need to get your hood off. How bad are you wounded?"

"Pretty bad." He kept his eyes focused on her. "Tie me up."

Her eyes showed her surprise. "Huh?"

"A man in pain can not be trusted. Last time I was this injured, I was already unconscious when you helped Diggle take care of me. I do not want to hurt you again tonight, Felicity. Just do it." Oliver snapped. 

"I will," She nodded calmly. 

Oliver kept his eyes on her as she gathered what she needed from around the foundry. A strip of thick leather to tie his good hand to the table. The medical cart. Bottles of water. Towels. She sat back down in front of him and pushed her glasses back up. "How are you so calm, Felicity?"

"A couple shots of vodka and adrenaline. You need me right now." The image of her taking a swig of vodka was an interesting distraction as she unzipped his hood. She looked up at him as she slid his good arm out. 

"Tie it up now." Oliver gritted. Felicity tied it as tight as she could to the metal table leg. _Please don't let me hurt her._

"Are you ready?" She asked. Oliver could only nod. "Look at me, Oliver," and she pulled his hood off his left arm. He didn't want to scream, but he couldn't help it. His eyes watered as the pain shot through his body. "Look at me, Oliver!" Felicity yelled back. He focused back on her. He hadn't hurt her. _Good._ "I'm going to cut your t-shirt off to limit moving your arm anymore than we have to."

Oliver watched her work. Months ago, Felicity Smoak was squeamish at the sight of blood, but not anymore. _I changed her. She changed because of me. I don't want her to change._ Oliver's brain wanted to shut off and check out of reality. "Felicity, I'm scared. I'm fading. I'm so tired. Talk to me please." Oliver whispered.

When Felicity looked up, she was crying again, "Stay with me, Oliver." She had his shirt off. "What do you want me to talk about?"

"Anything." _I just need your voice to keep my demons from taking over._

She pour some water into a container of gauze and began to clean his wound. "You would rather ride on your motorcycle, rather than in a car."

"Why do you say that?"

"The freedom." She looked into his eyes. "You spent five years on an island. The car feels closed off and confined. It makes you nervous every time you are in one for too long."

_She was right again._ "What else have you noticed?"

"You aren't sure how to touch people. Rarely are you the first one to initiate contact unless it's a fight. I don't know if it's because you think you don't deserve comfort or if you just aren't sure how to go about it." Felicity starred into his eyes. "It's like you think you'll break us."

Oliver did not reply and tried to keep his face steady. He looked down at his wound, "No stitches needed. Good." It had stopped bleeding, thankfully. He did not want to have to make Felicity do that. 

"I'm going to disinfect this, and I know it is going to hurt." Felicity prepared him. "Ready? I'll be quick."

Oliver's jaw clenched tightly shut as the solution hit both wounds. Felicity kept her word and was quick. Before he could really focus again, she had bound the entry and exit wounds bandaged. "Oliver." He looked over at her. "I'm going to untie you now, okay?" Oliver felt himself nod. The leather strap fell to the floor. 

He just sat there. "What now?"

"You need to get some rest. You could have died tonight." The thought of sleep sent him into a panic, and he knew his eyes told Felicity that.

"I won't let them take you." Felicity whispered. "I'll be right back."

Oliver watched her walk around the foundry again. She switched off what lights were still working. Grabbed her tablet and phone. She sat those on the table next to the sofa. When she came back to him, she held out her hand, "Come on." Oliver grabbed her hand and let her lead him to the sofa. She sat him down and began to unlace his boots. Oliver reached out and touched her blonde hair that was falling out of her pony tail. He stopped thinking awhile ago and just reacting. Felicity laid Oliver down on the sofa and covered him with a blanket. She squeezed his hand tightly. Oliver sighed. "I'm scared, Felicity." 

"Close your eyes." Felicity laid down next to him. 

Oliver felt his body relax at her warmth. He wrapped his arms around her, as she laid her head on his chest. "Thank you, Felicity." Oliver slurred as his exhaustion overtook him.

_________________

It took Felicity longer to fall asleep. Her brain would not shut off. She'd once had a dream like this. A very, very different situation of a dream. She pushed that thought away. Right now, her best friend needed her. He had a love, and it wasn't her. She'd made peace with that. She thought. Felicity kept her ear over Oliver's heart to make sure he kept breathing. He had lost a lot of blood, and with how busy they were lately, he hadn't restocked the blood supply in the foundry. "Don't die on me, Oliver. Hold on." Felicity whispered. In his sleep, Oliver tightened his grasp around her. That eased Felicity's brain a little and sleep followed shortly after.


	8. Curiosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver wakes up with Felicity still in his arms. He lets his curiosity take over to keep himself sane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot easier to write than the last one. Thank you for all the feedback. I'm tickled pink folks are loving this story! I'm not sure how many parts this will end up having, but I'm loving writing it. Please keep the feedback coming!

Oliver was the first one to wake up. His brain was foggy, but last night was still vivid in his memory. Felicity had not moved. The warmth of her body next to his was a surprise. Laurel was the last person to sleep next to him like that. He squeezed his eyes shut. _I can't think about her right now._ Oliver's entire body ached. It hurt to breath. He did not want to wake Felicity up, though, so he laid still. His left hand that had punched the pillar was wrapped around her back and rested on her waist. She had her left leg on top of his, and her left hand rested over the first scar he got on the island - Yao Fei's arrow. Oliver remembered the story for every scar. The feeling of Felicity's hand on that scar hung in his senses. _Could you fix me?_

He did not realize that his was pulling Felicity tighter into him. She let out a little mumble as Oliver saw her blonde hair, which she had pulled out of its pony tail, move and tickle his shoulder. Felicity looked up at him. Her bright blue eyes still a little pink from her tears. "Good Morning," she whispered. "How are your injuries feeling?" Oliver noticed the specificity of her question. Not how was he or if he was okay or how was the pain. Those all lead to doors he wanted to stay shut right now. 

"I don't want to get up. I'm comfortable here." Oliver admitted.

Felicity smirked, "So you are saying I'm totally the best heating pad best friend ever, right?"

Oliver chuckled and then winced in pain. He caught himself smiling though, "You could say that." 

Felicity's cheeks pinked up slightly. Her hand touched his cheek gently. "Welcome back." She smiled at him. "I'm going to go get the stuff to clean and redress your wounds. I'll be right back."

Oliver shivered slightly when her warmth left from under the blanket. Her words kept repeating in his ears. _How do you always see hope in me, he thought._

___________________

Felicity's brain was running at a million miles a minute as she walked over to the computers. Nothing of interest had popped up, outside the scheduling of Moira's arraignment and the police calming down the Glades. Felicity was going to spare Oliver the details unless he asked for them. She picked up Oliver's cell phone. There were multiple missed calls and texts from Thea, Laurel, and Walter. She slid it in the pocket of her work out pants as her brain figured out how to bring up Oliver needing to talk with his family at least.

By the time she got back to the sofa with the bandages and everything else, Oliver had managed to sit up right. He had the blanket wrapped around him, yet kept his left arm exposed. As she sat down next to him, he kept his eyes straight ahead and expression blank. Felicity lightly squeezed his fingers, being careful with the bruised knuckles on his left hand, "Still with me?" Oliver nodded. 

"Good. Do I need to tie you up again or will it be okay this morning?"   
"It will be okay," he answered. His voice rough and coarse. 

Before she started working, she sighed. She decided to stick with her plan of facts only. "I have your cell in my pocket. You have a bunch of missed calls from Thea, Walter, and Laurel. I know you don't want to bu..."

Oliver interrupted her, "Oliver Queen does not know Tommy is dead." He looked straight at her when he spoke. His voice cracked. She knew he'd have to relive last night today but would never be able to tell anyone that Tommy did not die alone. Felicity kept her hands busy cleaning his wounds so that she would keep a calm expression.

"I can talk with Walter. He knows we are friends." Felicity took a deep breath. "I know I said I would never push you, but you need to call Thea. And I'm not sure what yo.."

"I can not talk to Laurel right now, Felicity." Oliver said in the voice Felicity knew. _Emotionless and blank. He was protecting himself from his emotions._ Felicity reached her right hand from the wound she had been redressing to the back of his neck and squeezed slightly. She felt him relax.

________________

_Laurel. No. Can't. Not Yet._ "Talk to me, Felicity." 

"Huh?" She turned her head to the side as she worked on his back. Oliver noticed she bit her lip when she wanted to really focus. _Maybe that's why you bite it when you are nervous_ , he thought.

"Like last night."

"You are asking me to ramble out whatever is in my head? Are you sure you did not get brain damage last night?" Her eyes sparkled back under her glasses.

"It's nice to hear how someone honestly sees me. So many people tell me what they think I want to hear. They also see what I want them to see. I seem to never be able to fool you." _That took strength to admit._

"Having to lie to your loved one's hurts you more than any physical injury you get." She said as she got up. Kneeling in front of him and looking straight into his eyes, "You want to fiercely keep them all safe, that you end up killing yourself. And if I had to honestly guess, you long for someone that would protect you without judgment."

It felt like her words slammed into his brain. _You, Felicity Smoak_ , he thought. 

"You are all bandaged up, mister."

"Can we get out of here?" Oliver asked, grabbing her hand.

"Yeah. My car should still be near the club barring something falling on it last night. I can take you home." 

Oliver bit his own tongue to stop the panic rising in his gut. "I can't go home. I don't feel like dealing with reporters today." He paused. "What about your apartment? Just for a bit."

All she did was nod yes. Oliver couldn't help but wonder why that statement managed to rend Felicity Smoak speechless. This little game was keeping his mind off other things, so he let his curiosity continue to control him. "Why do you never call me Ollie? All my friends and family do, but I realized you never have."

Felicity sat back down in front of him. He looked down at her. Blonde hair hung at her shoulders, partially covering his dried blood on her tank top. "Because you aren't Ollie to me. Ollie was someone before the island. Ollie isn't the man I met. Ollie was the billionaire playboy. While, Oliver is the man that fed me the worse lies on the planet. The man who came to me for help when his life depended on it. The man who is a hero. Ollie isn't my Oliver. You are." She stood up, kissed the top of his head, and said, "I'm going to go gather a change of clothes for you, pack up some of the tablets, our cells, some bandages, and we'll be ready to go, okies?"

Oliver could not speak. He just nodded yes. _My Oliver. Her Oliver._ His curiosity was not expecting that answer. Probably something more along the lines of a ramble about being his boss, but Felicity seemed to be in full honesty mode. She seemed to ramble less when focused on a task, and right now, keep him together was a large task for her. 

After a bit, Felicity took in front of him with his duffel bag. He could only assumed what she had managed to stuff in there. As he looked up from the green bad she was dragging across the floor, he noticed she had one of his t-shirts over her tank top. Oliver felt his lips smile. She had his hooded sweatshirt in her other hand. "Let's get this on you, and we'll hit the road." 

As they walked out of the foundry, Oliver couldn't bare to look at his bloodied hood on the floor. Felicity had her arm around Oliver's waist. He did not protest the support. "You know I'm going to make you eat, right?"

"Not hungry," Oliver groaned as he tried to stay upright as they walked.

"Don't care. You need to eat. Trust me, okay?" 

"I do." He meant it. He did. He trusted her. She knew he hardly ate. He trusted her to take care of him. _Her Oliver. My Felicity._


	9. Say Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver faces the day after the Undertaking as he arrives at Felicity's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was rather fun to write as it's been dancing around my head for a few days. I hope you enjoy it. This one is easier on the emotions. Thank you again for the views and feedback! Y'all rock!

Oliver leaned his head against the window of Felicity’s Mini Cooper as she drove out of the Glades. He did not want to see the destruction in the morning light. Felicity pulled his cell phone out of her pocket while she was stopped at a red light, “You need to call Thea,” she reminded him. “She needs to hear that you are okay.” Felicity turned the song playing down until it was barely audible. Oliver nodded as he dialed Thea’s number. Felicity turned her eyes back to the road.

“Ollie?” Thea’s voice cracked in his ear.

Oliver took a deep breath, “I’m okay. I was stuck at the club when the earthquake hit the Glades. My cell did not have reception until now. I’m sorry for it taking so long to get back in touch with you.” He hated lying to Thea.

“I’m just glad you are safe. I was afraid that I lost you again. I’m staying at Walter’s apartment right now. I couldn’t go back home right now.” Thea was crying, “I cannot believe what Mom did. There is something else I need to tell you, Ollie…”

 _Tommy’s dead_. Oliver opened and closed his left hand as much as his bruised knuckles would allow it as he braced himself. “Tommy died last night. He saved Laurel from CNRI, but the building collapsed before he could get out himself. Laurel is at the hospital, but she is okay from I’ve heard.”

Oliver felt his muscles tense up again and tears slowly roll down his cheeks. “Ollie, are you still there?”

“Yeah.” His voice steady. Felicity had stopped at another red light. She put her hand on his. Oliver held on to it tightly. “Thank you,” he mouthed to her. She just nodded. The light turned green, and she needed her hand back. “I’m glad Laurel is safe.” It was all he could manage to get out. “I can’t even think about Tommy, Speedy.”

“Okay, Ollie. Where are you?”

“With a friend. I do not want to deal with reporters today after what Mom did, and definitely not now that I know about Tommy.” 

“Who?” Thea asked. Oliver could hear the concern more than curiosity. 

“You remember Felicity, from when Walter was in the hospital?” Oliver noticed Felicity was getting on the freeway, taking the long way to her apartment.

“Yeah, she seems nice.”

“That’s the friend I’m staying with right now. If you need me, just call my cell, deal, Speedy?” Oliver wanted to stop talking.   
“Deal, Ollie. Take care of yourself.” Thea said. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Oliver said as he hung up the phone. He closed his eyes as he and Felicity finished the trip to her apartment in silence. 

____________________

 

Felicity lived in a two bedroom apartment on the top floor. Oliver was not surprised to see how it looked from the inside. He had only seen it briefly that night he watched her open his gift. There were bookshelves in random spots in the living room. Each one packed to the brim with books, graphic novels, and random symbols of Felicity’s geekiness. It was so personal compared to his room at home, which had a constant degree of coldness to it when it came to decoration. As Felicity shut the door, she looked up at him, “Okies, time for you to take a shower.”

“But you just bandaged me up an hour ago.” Oliver tried to argue. 

Felicity rolled her eyes and wrinkled her nose, “Don’t care. Bandages are cheap. You getting an infection, then it turning into sepsis and you dying on me – isn’t. Plus, last I checked, you are a billionaire, you can afford some more gauze.” She put her finger on Oliver’s lips as he started to say something, “And I don’t care if you could afford to die, it would make me very sad, so we are going to try everything to make sure you stay breathing, deal?”

 _Damn_. He couldn’t argue with her at all, and hearing that she would be sad if he died was nice to hear. “Fine.” He said with a huff that barely hid a snicker.

“Follow me to my bedroom,” Felicity said as she walked away, stopped, blushed, turned around to Oliver, “HUSH!” _Oh thank you, Felicity for being you_ , he thought. “The master bathroom has the largest shower is what I meant.”

Felicity’s bedroom amazed Oliver more than her living room. It was so her. A few random books on her nightstand. Her laptop closed on the bed of bright purple sheets. Pictures and paintings full of color decorated walls. A few random post-it notes with things to remember and quotes she must have liked dotted around the room. There was a dark wood book shelf near her dresser. It had a few pictures that looked like her as a teenager. Oliver couldn’t help but notice the wine bottle and his note.

He realized that Felicity had walked off from him to start the shower. She came back in the room. “Everything is set up. I packed what clothes of yours I could find in the duffel. I’m going to go fix us some breakfast.”

“You should take your shower first.” Oliver said, pointing at his blood on her shirt. She only glared at him as she walked out of her bedroom and shut the door. 

Oliver unzipped his sweatshirt and walked into the bathroom. He did not recognize the face looking back at him in the mirror. His head felt like it was swimming. No matter how much the thought of cooked breakfast food made him gag, Felicity was right, he needed to eat. Food had been a source of frustration with him since he came back. To spicy, no taste, you name it. 

He finished getting undressed and got in the shower. The warm temperature of the water felt perfect on his aching body. In no way did it seem that it had only been twenty four hours ago since he talked to Lance about Felicity.

______________

 

Felicity felt her heart racing. _Oliver Queen is in my bedroom and using my shower._ She amazed herself that even in times like this, her brain could ramble and tangent. Thankfully her cell phone rang to save her from herself, “Hello?”

“It’s Dig, Felicity. Have you heard from Oliver?” 

“Yeah. I’ve got him here at my apartment. He did not want to go home.” Felicity was in the kitchen now, searching the fridge for food. “He lost a lot of blood last night, but I got him patched up. Physically at least.” 

Diggle understood. He and Felicity talked one night about Oliver. A conversation Oliver will probably never know about. Dig told her about post-traumatic stress disorder, and his experiences with it, which was more informative than Google had been. Felicity had a feeling that someone who went through what Oliver did would have problems like that. She appreciated Dig’s firsthand experience to add to what her instincts told her to do when it came to Oliver. “Did you hear about Tommy?” she asked.

“Just what the news said.” He paused, “What don’t they know?”

“He went back to CNRI to save Laurel. The building collapsed, trapping him. He died in front of Oliver.” Felicity said as she closed the fridge.

“Damn. Look, Carly’s heading back this way. Call me if you need me.” Dig said as he hung up. 

Taking a deep breath, Felicity looked at the pile of stuff sitting on the counter. She went to work prepping breakfast. It felt good to keep her hands and mind busy on something normal for a few minutes.

______________

 

Oliver felt a bit more human after his shower. It did feel odd standing in Felicity’s bedroom in just a towel, though. He started to unpack the duffel to find his clothes, which were sitting on top of everything. Oliver put on a pair of pants, but he decided for no shirt until Felicity could redress his wound. The curiosity in the back of his mind kicked up again, so he unpacked the rest of the things in the duffel.

Felicity’s tablet. Two more sets of clothes. Two pairs of his shoes. A good chunk of supplies for his wounds. The next thing Oliver pulled out showed him just how much attention Felicity paid to him. He kept it in his hand as he walked out of her bedroom. “Felicity?” he called.

“In the kitchen,” he heard in reply.

Felicity turned around as Oliver walked into the kitchen, and she choked on the tea she was sipping. “Hi,” she gasped. “Sorry about that. Swallowed wrong.” She lied, and Oliver caught it. 

“You okay?” 

“Good,” She blushed. “Just never thought I’d have a barefoot and shirtless Oliver Queen in my kitchen.” Felicity realized her brain spoke for her again. “Anyway…” She motioned to the table, “eat.”

“First, thank you for packing the herbs.” Oliver said, holding up the pouch he was holding.

“Well, I’ve never seen you take a pain pill, but I’ve seen you do stuff with those when you’ve been hurt. Figured it wouldn’t hurt to bring them.” Felicity said, sitting down in the seat by the window. 

Oliver followed her movement and finally paid attention to what Felicity had prepared for him to eat. The only thing on the table was a mixture of fresh fruit and a bottle of water. Oliver really did wonder if Felicity could read his mind. He sat down in front of her and began eating. Felicity smiled as she kept sipping her tea. Oliver looked up at her, and he didn’t need to say anything. Her eyes told him she knew.


	10. Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Oliver and Felicity say things they never wanted the other one to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah...this one ran away from me and I let it. I wasn't planning what happens. I hope you like it. =)

Felicity sat across from Oliver until she had seen him eat what she declared to be enough. Her persistence didn’t bother him though. She eventually excused herself to go take her own shower and get changed. As Oliver sat at the table, he realized that was the first time she’d left his side for more than a few minutes since last night. In a way, it felt very odd and silence. Of the two feelings, the silence killed him the most. He walked into the living room. _At least walking was a little easier than first thing this morning_ , he thought, trying to find good things about the day. Oliver turned on the iPod that sat in a dock on one of Felicity’s many book shelves. A song Oliver had never heard came softly out of the speakers. It was enough noise to drown his brain out a little.

The sound he had been avoiding went off again – his cell phone. _Laurel._ A lump formed in Oliver’s throat as he answered it. He kept quiet. 

“Ollie?” her familiar voice pleaded.

“Yes,” was the only word he could whisper.

“Where have you been?” 

Oliver swallowed hard and repeated the lie he told Thea earlier in case they spoke. He paced back and forth in Felicity’s living room waiting for the rest of the conversation to hit him.

“Tommy,” Laurel said, her voice breaking into a sob.

"I know," Oliver said precisely. He felt like he was crawling inside his own skin.

“How? No one has heard from you.” 

“Thea talked to me this morning. She told me you were in the hospital, but okay.”

“Where are you, Ollie?” Laurel asked, sounding a mix of hurt and confused. “I thought you might be dead with Tommy. I wanted to talk to you about him. He saved me, and said he still loved me…”

The restraint on his emotions broke. “I can’t, Laurel. I can’t do this. I can’t talk about him. One of my best friend’s last memories was of me betraying his trust. Of me sleeping with you,” Oliver heard the shocked gasp, “Yes. He was on his way to fix things with you and selfish Oliver had to go mess that up. I haven’t changed. I did to Tommy what I did to you the day that Sarah left on the Queen’s Gambit with me. I love you, Laurel, but I can’t be with you. There is too much pain and too many wrongs. I came back with this want and ideal based on things five years ago. An ignorant boy’s hopeful wish. I am done hurting people due to being so blind when it comes to you. I’m sorry, Laurel. For everything. Maybe if I did die on that island Tommy would still be alive.” Oliver was sobbing by the time the last word left his lips.

“Ollie…ta..” Laurel started to say as Oliver screamed and threw his cell against the wall, breaking.

When Oliver turned around, he saw Felicity standing there in the doorway. She tilted her head to the side and gave him a reassuring look. Felicity crossed the room and gave him a simple hug. She wiped the tears from under his eyes, then turned away from him. He watched her walk over to where his cell phone lay in pieces. Her wet blonde hair was up in a messy bun and held by bright blue decorative sticks. Oliver noticed that she was wearing blue jeans for a change, and a t-shirt that fit her perfectly. Oliver was starting to worry about her not saying anything. 

“Say something, please?” Oliver asked.

Felicity picked up the broken cell phone and walked back down the hall. Oliver started to panic. “Felicity?” He asked as he followed her. She walked into the second bedroom, which was her office. He grabbed her arm, “I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“You didn’t.” Her tone was weird, which did not help Oliver’s brain that was busy tracing over scenarios and if she could be lying to him. “I just want to fix this for you.” She held up the cell phone. Felicity opened up a desk drawer and pulled out a new cell phone. She put the sim card from Oliver’s broken phone into the new one, turned it on, pushed some buttons, and handed it to him. “Should be fully operational in about an hour.” Her tone was still so matter of factly. _What have I done? Two women I care about pissed at me within five minutes of each other. Did the universe hate me that much?_

Oliver stood in the doorway, hoping she’d stop and talk to him. _Please_ , he begged her in his mind. She just pushed passed him. “Felicity, STOP!” Oliver snapped as he walked into the hallway behind her. She was shaking five feet in front of him, with her back to him. When she turned around, her eyes were trying desperately to hold on to their tears. “Talk to me,” Oliver begged.

“You want me to talk?” She said with a trembling voice. “Fine.” Oliver felt his heart stop with the tone of her voice. “I know I wasn’t meant to hear you talking to Laurel. You thought I was still in the shower. I did not mean to walk in on it, but I did. As you talked, all I could think of is how happy I was to see you finally realize you act like an asshole to your friends when it comes to Laurel Lance. Diggle called you on it. There is right, wrong, and then Laurel in your mind. So on today of all days, where I’m trying to be the best friend I can, all I can think is that I’m happy you realized that.” She lost control of her eyes as the tears flowed. Oliver stood there, shocked, as she kept talking, “And then the guilt of being happy about anything right now, especially something that is causing you pain. And of hearing the man I love talking about sleeping with another woman. And of stabbing his best friend in the back after he told him to go fix things with Laurel. So Oliver, I did not want to say anything because all I want to do is ramble and yell at you and slap you and kiss you and I knew if I started talking that I would lose it. I’ve been holding in my emotions all night. You needed me to not fall apart. One of us had to stay together. One of us..” Felicity trailed off as she closed her eyes. Her breathing was fast and heavy. 

All Oliver could think to do was to walk up to her. He reached out to her, to pull her in. His brain was a mess with everything she’d just yelled at him. Felicity shook away his touch for the first time ever. “I need to get some fresh air, Oliver. I’ll be back. Don’t disappear on me. I’m sorry.” Felicity said as she grabbed her purse from the table by the door and left before Oliver could reply.

“The man she loves…” Oliver whispered, looking at the closed door.

________________

 

Felicity felt like she was hyperventilating by the time she reach the elevator. The last fifteen minutes played out in as many seconds in her head. “Shit, I said it,” she scolded herself. “On today of all days, Felicity Megan Smoak, you pick his worst day ever to throw more emotional baggage onto the luggage rack. He definitely won’t want to be your friend anymore. You’ll be lucky if he is still there when you get back. Of course, Oliver Queen wouldn’t want more than a friendship. GAH! Stop it, Felicity. NOT TODAY!” Felicity yelled at herself as the doors to the elevator opened on the bottom floor. As she stepped out of her building, she looked up. Oliver was on her fire escape watching her.

“You are right,” he yelled as she walked by. The words hit Felicity like a brick. Answers to questions and new questions came to mind. _Breathe_ , she reminded herself. Her cell phone vibrated. It was a text from Oliver, “I won’t disappear. We’ll talk when you get back.” She looked back up at the fire escape, but he was already back inside. 

“We need wine. And ice cream. Both. Definitely both.” Felicity rambled to herself.


	11. Fix You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver starts to open up. Felicity finds something that causes her to worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the response to the last chapter! =) This one was a little tough to write. I have a plan for the next one as well. That's the one that you'll need the wine and ice cream for, I think. Enjoy!

Oliver sat down on the floor next to the fire escape’s window. He was surprised to find his heart was still racing. For the past few months, Felicity had this connection with him that he could never put his finger on. She snuck up on him, taking him by surprised in every way. Oliver felt safe with her, because she was the only person that never ran when he broke. _You are remarkable_ , he thought, then laughed out loud remembering the first time he told her that.

“What are you doing, Oliver?” He leaned his head back. “Two nights ago you were in Laurel’s arms, last night you watched Tommy die, now you are laughing and seriously wondering if you’ve fallen in love with your best friend.” And the second the word’s left his lips, Oliver knew they weren’t far from the truth. That terrified him. “Why can’t I ever have a normal friendship or relationship?” Oliver answered his fears. As he sat there thinking, he found himself more afraid of Felicity walking back into the apartment than he was facing the Dark Archer the night before. 

________________  
When Felicity returned, Oliver was in the kitchen eating again. Before he could turn around, “I forgot to redress your wound! I’ll be right back!” came out in a panicked tone from Felicity. Oliver would have chuckled louder if his ribs didn’t hurt so badly.

He stood up and watched the hallway. She came back carrying the things she’d packed earlier. Oliver noticed she was biting lip again, but it was different this time. _No make-up_ , he thought, _nice_. “I am so sorry. I tend to be a little spastic when emotional and tired, and well, I’m both of those right now. Hopefully it being open this long is okay?” She climbed up to sit on the counter, which put her eye level with Oliver. “Come here, let me fix this.” 

Oliver smiled at her. He grabbed her shaking hands, “its fine. I’ve survived worse on an island with no gauze or modern medicine. I think I’ll live, Felicity.” He saw her chest rise as she took a deep breath trying to calm herself. “Before you ask, I’m not mad at you.”

Felicity looked up at him. Her blue eyes showed her thankfulness. “I am so glad. I feel like a complete bitch for yelling at you like that. You saw your best friend die last night. You did not need me to dump my emotional baggage on you, or for me to call you on your BS today. Maybe later, but today was such a bad day. I know when Dig did, you and he didn’t talk for a while. I don’t want that. I like talking with you,” Oliver tried to keep from grinning, “Felicity?”

“Yeah?” He saw her cheeks blushed when she realized that she was babbling.

“Shut up for a moment and listen to me, okay?” Oliver asked. He tried to keep his own hands from shaking as they still held her hands. Felicity looked at him and nodded her head. “You snuck up on me. I was not planning to know you more than lying to you to get help finding information. Then the night I got shot, your car was the only one still there. I knew, without a second thought, I could trust you. That I’d be safe with you.” Oliver squeezed her hands, “You were not the first one to get hurt from trying to wake me up from a nightmare. My mother tried right after I got back. The look on her and Walter’s face was fear. You never had that. It was concern and wanting to help. I still feel bad about hurting you that night.” He lightly touched her left cheek. “You have held me together for longer than you realize. I’m sorry for the times I’ve been an ass or lied to you. I don’t know when it happened, but you went past being my best friend. I’m not sure how to say what is in my head. I just know I won’t disappear, and hearing you say that you love me was the best thing that could have happened today.” She was smiling when Oliver hugged her.

“Are you saying you might love me, too?” She whispered into his chest.

“Maybe,” He said, smelling the berry scent of her still damp hair, “Can you be patient with me?”

He felt her giggle. It was a nice feeling that tickled him slightly. “Oliver Queen, you know I can.” 

“Good, because above everything else, I don’t want to mess this up.”

She looked up at him, “We’re a “this”?” 

Oliver rolled his eyes and smirked, “You are the one person in this world that I know, without fail, I can talk to about anything. I don’t think you understand how much of a comfort it is to have a safe haven like that, Felicity. I want to have you in my life like that, no matter what else might happen. I don’t want to mess that up. I also know that no matter how much I fight it, I want to be around you. Your touch comforts me. You treat me just as Oliver. Not the damaged Ollie that came home from an island.” Oliver realized how close he was to her. “And I just,” and he kissed her. _Enough fighting_ , he thought. Felicity relaxed in his arms and returned the kiss. 

She smiled at him, “Are best friends supposed to kiss each other?”

“Not sure. I’ve been out of civilization for a while.”

“Loving and kissing your best friend is probably against some friendship rule or law. Rather abnormal.” Felicity said, that spunk back in her voice that Oliver loved.

“Felicity, I wear a hood and shoot arrows at people, and you are my computer genius that hacks into things for me. We passed normal way back.” Oliver smiled.

“Absolutely perfect point,” she chuckled. “We will make it work. Whatever it, is.” She held up the bandages, “Can I please fix you now?”

Oliver conceded and turned his left shoulder to her. _I wonder if you know just how much you are fixing me_ , he thought as she went to work. 

__________________

 

Felicity spun around in her computer chair in her office. “Has today really happened?” She wondered out loud. The door was partially closed so she didn’t wake Oliver up, who was taking a nap on the couch. On the next revolution, she stopped herself in front of the monitor. Felicity flicked the mouse to wake the computer up. She had lost track of time today and was shocked to see that it was one in the afternoon. Oliver had been resting about an hour, while she had been attempting to process everything. _The kiss._ It was not how she had dreamed, but it was perfect. Felicity was not sure just where they were now, but she promised to keep going with the flow. _Hey, it’s worked so far_ , she thought.

Taking the opportunity while Oliver was asleep, Felicity looked up information on Moira Queen. Google pulled up a mass of news articles. Many, many people were livid at Queen Consolidated and Merlyn Group. More details had come to light while Oliver and Felicity had been offline. Seems Moira had admitted that Walter knew nothing and was kidnapped when he got too close. The board at Queen Consolidated was already moving to place him back in the CEO position. “I don’t think Oliver will complain about that,” she made a mental note out loud. “Hopefully that will take the heat off of Thea and Oliver. They don’t need it.”

A few more clicks and Felicity could not find what she was looking for. Nothing about the Dark Archer. Her heart stopped. _Oliver killed him_ , she assumed. “It’s not like a man in a black hood would be confused with some Glades John Doe, not to mention his body wouldn’t have been in the Glades. Felicity searched a few more databases, but she couldn’t find any information. The only Merlyn confirmed dead was Tommy. Malcolm Merlyn was just in the news as the mastermind of the Undertaking, but no one had seen him. “Shit..”

“What’s wrong?” Oliver’s voice came from the door way causing Felicity to jump. 

_I can’t lie to him._ “Malcolm’s body hasn’t been found. There literally is no report or evidence that he is dead. I mean I can only assume that you left him with at least one arrow in something vital to sustaining life.” 

Oliver nodded and pointed to his shoulder, “I stabbed myself as he had me in a choke hold. It was that, or him snapping my neck. I picked the stab wound.”

“Well, that makes that injury a little more clear than I pictured.” Felicity said, fidgeting with a slinky from her desk. “Should we worry that he is still out there?”

“Not today.” Oliver leaned against the door frame. It seemed ages since this morning. Since last night. Felicity spun around in her computer chair again. “Why do you do that?” 

“Helps me think. I don’t like the idea that he is still out there. I also still feel responsible for him setting a trap for you when he found my Trojan.” She pulled the sticks out of her hair and shook out her curls. “Something about this is bothering me, and I can’t place it.” Felicity stood up and started pacing in front of her desk. 

Oliver walked over to her. She smirked that he had the hood to his sweatshirt up. His five o’clock shadow was thicker than usual, defining his jaw even more than usual. Her body liked the feeling of his rough, warm hands on her bare arms. “For the rest of the day, we aren’t going to worry.”

“But…” Felicity started to protest. She had all the arguments in her head, but Oliver interrupted her.

“Look at me,” he had that soft look that always made her feel safe, “I need my best friend today. This,” he motioned to her computers, “can wait.” She saw a sparkle in his eye and knew something smart ass was coming, “I know your boss, so I’ll put in a good word.” 

“You aren’t going to let me argue? I had a very detailed one in my head, but you interrupted me.” Felicity tried her best to look frustrated, but Oliver just shook his head. “Fine. Gotcha. One best friend going offline,” as she reached over to turn off the monitor. “I’m all yours, Oliver Queen.” Felicity caught the smile Oliver tried to hide.


	12. Bleeding Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver opens up more as they both escape the reality outside Felicity's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This would be the ice cream and wine chapter. The end of this is also more of Oliver's writing. I promise that those will all make sense soon. Thank you for reading. This was a fun, interesting, and at times, hard chapter to write. I'd love to hear any prompts to put them through. Thank you as always for your reads and reviews. =)

Oliver woke up to his stomach growling. Felicity was curled up on the other end of the couch. They had spent the afternoon watching random bad comedy movie, which apparently bored them both to sleep. He covered her with a blanket before he got up. They both were still exhausted. 

From the window in the kitchen, Oliver saw that it was already night time. He pushed a button on his cell phone to see that it was seven in the evening. _Thankfully no more missed calls_ , he thought. Oliver turn on a small light over the sink to give himself some light. A quick look in the fridge proved Felicity had not been to the store lately, and that most of the fruit from earlier was gone. Stuck to the fridge door with a magnet, he found a menu for a Chinese place that was close. Oliver had no idea what she liked, just that she liked Chinese food, but no peanuts. He called the place and ordered a good variety of food. _Hopefully she’s hungry, too._

While Oliver waited for the food, he decided to call to check on Dig. “Oliver?” A sleepy voice came from the other end of the call.

“Yeah,” Oliver was surprised how scratchy his voice was. “How are you?”

“I’ll live.” Dig said. “Felicity said she got you bandaged up. Everything good?”

“She was awesome last night, let’s leave it at that.” _Dig did not need to know about the mental break down_ , Oliver thought. “I need to ask you a favor.”

“Anything, what?”

“When you can, go to Verdant and really check on it. We locked it up as best we could this morning. I don’t even want to think about Hood stuff right now.” Oliver admitted.

“Are you really hanging it up for good?”

“I honestly don’t know. I can’t see the point anymore. I just..”Oliver stumbled over his words. “Can’t right now.”

“I’ll take care of it.” Dig replied. “How is Felicity? When I talked to her earlier, I didn’t get a chance to ask.”

Oliver was silent for a moment. There was a lot that he could say about how Felicity was since things went to hell last night. “Physically, she’s doing the best of the three of us,” was all Oliver said.

“I’ll be out of here in a day or two. I’ll talk with you two then.” Dig said, ending the conversation. Oliver turned his phone on silent and put it on the counter. He didn’t care if he saw it again that night. _Reality could wait until tomorrow, at least._

Oliver watched Felicity sleep for a little bit before waking her. “Felicity,” he whispered as he lightly shook her arm. “Wake up.”

She jumped up, “Huh? Oh? Hi!” Her hair was a mess of blonde curls. Such a stark change from the usual put together work-mode Felicity. “Did we both fall asleep?”

Oliver nodded, “That movie we were watching was rather awful and mind-numbing.”

“Mind-numbing is good though. We both needed rest. What time is it?” She asked as sat up. 

“After seven. I ordered us some food. Chinese.” 

“Oh perfect! I picked up wine earlier on my cool off walk. And also a surprise for you, but that’s for after we eat.” Oliver knew his face showed his curiosity. “No, I’m not telling you.” He smirked. 

“I could make you.” 

“Oliver, you’ve never been able to make me do anything I didn’t want to. Don’t try to start now.” Felicity replied and stuck her tongue out at him. “I’ll be right back.” She got up and headed down the hall. 

Oliver leaned back on the couch. He couldn’t help but worry what would happen when he stepped out of this protective bubble he’d place himself and Felicity in. _No thinking about that tonight. Just let tonight happen how it wants to. You need one night of not thinking._

__________________

Felicity sat opposite of Oliver at her coffee table. She forced him to take the side next to the couch since he was hurt. They spread the food out and put random bits on their plates. Oliver poured each of them a glass of the red wine Felicity picked up. “Am I wrong for being happy on some level right now?” Oliver asked, sitting back down on the floor. “I’m sad, hurt, angry and everything else still, but this,” he looked at the food then her, “makes me happy.” It had been on his mind all day.

“No, Oliver,” She said, taking a sip of wine. Her hair was back in her usual neat pony tail. “You have to find something worth living for. Something that makes you happy and makes you feel safe. Something that makes you feel alive.”

“It’s weird to hear you say that,” Oliver put his fork down. _Do I tell her this?_

“Why is that?” She said, taking a bite of her food.

“It was raining the night the Queen’s Gambit went down.” Felicity looked confused as she looked at Oliver, then the look in her eyes changed when she realized what was happening. Oliver watched her keep listening, but not talking. _Thank you _, he thought. “Sarah literally slipped from my grasp as she was pulled under with the boat. When I surfaced, my father pulled me into the life raft. He, the captain, and I were the only three survivors.” He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and kept talking. “I watched my father kill the captain and then himself so that I would have a better chance at survival. The only thing that I made it to the island with was my father’s body, the notebook and a picture of Laurel. That picture and the ideal of her kept me going.” He took a large sip of his wine. “That’s why its weird hearing you say that. Because now it’s you. It’s a different feeling, but it’s also the same. I hope that makes sense.”__

__Felicity nodded, “I can see what you mean.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin. Oliver noticed she still didn’t have make-up on. “Can I ask you a question?”_ _

__Oliver was nervous, but he agreed, “Sure.”_ _

__“Did you make your bow?”_ _

___Of all the questions she could ask_ , Oliver chuckled to himself. “Somewhat. I had friends there that gave me my appreciation for archery. Shado, and her father, Yao Fei. Shado is the one who taught me, though. She’d like you since you put me in my place.” _ _

__“Sounds like my kind of girl,” Felicity giggled. “I’m guessing playboy Oliver didn’t impress her.”_ _

__“Not so much.” Oliver finished off his glass of wine. “My first successful archery hit was saving Shado’s life. A man named Fyres had her with a gun to her head. I remember being so nervous, yet calm. The arrow landed where I intended it to. Fyres was the first person I intentionally killed on the island, not in self-defense. Though…” Oliver’s voice trailed off. He looked at Felicity. She had that look on her face from that night. One of care, concern. Love. He knew she would not care if he stopped talking there. “Come over here.” Oliver sat up on the couch and took his sweatshirt off. Felicity sat down next to him, a puzzled look on her face. “Give me your hand.”  
Oliver took her hand in his. He traced the scar on his upper left abdomen, “Fyres and a man named Bill Wintergreen were responsible for this and another scar. It’s under the bandage. They were trying to get me to tell them where Yao Fei was.” Oliver kept looking at her hand. “I didn’t break to my surprise.” _ _

__When he looked up at Felicity, she had a tear rolling down her cheek. “You don’t have to talk about this tonight, Oliver.”_ _

__“I know.” He wiped the tear away. She pressed her cheek against his hand. “I’m done fighting to keep it all in, so I’m letting some out.”_ _

__Felicity hugged him tightly. “I’ll be here any hour of the day, you know that right?” She whispered in his ear._ _

__“I do.” Oliver held on to her tightly._ _

__“Guess what your surprise is?” She whispered in his ear. Oliver’s brain shocked him in all the directions it went._ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Ice cream, with every bit of the fixings. Sprinkles, chocolate, you name it. And whip cream.” Felicity said, innocently._ _

__Oliver couldn’t control the grin on his face._ _

___________________ _

__Felicity just sat on the counter where she had earlier that morning. She had been smiling non-stop for the last hour as Oliver tried different combos of the ice cream toppings that she had brought home. He looked like he had forgotten everything from the past week. If he had his sweatshirt on, you wouldn’t be able to tell that he was badly hurt. Felicity noticed when the clock on the wall ticked over the twenty four hour point. She didn’t know if Oliver noticed, but she kept it to herself. It seemed like a week had past, not a day. As she ate her ice cream, she hoped for the best for the upcoming days. Malcolm still being unaccounted for worried her. She also knew Oliver had many more demons to face outside the safety of her apartment. But for tonight, she was content and happy to watch the billionaire playboy eye candy dream of many women, play like a little kid in a candy store in her kitchen. He was smiling that smile of his that was real. Not the fake one he flashes with his charms. She listened to stories about his days growing up with Tommy, before they both turned into little punks in her opinion. Oliver agreed._ _

__“You are going to make me try to get some rest tonight, aren’t you?” Oliver asked her._ _

__“At least you’ve accepted that I’m going to try to make you take care of yourself.” She said, hopping down from the counter. Felicity was nearly a foot shorter than him, so she had to look up to him. “I’ll be here.”_ _

__“I don’t want to sleep alone,” he admitted. The look on his face showed how hard that was to say, and his eyes screamed there was more to his statement._ _

__“Me, neither.” Felicity took his hand and lead him down the hall to her bedroom. She put her laptop on the dresser and grabbed a change of clothes out of the top drawer. “I’ll be right back.” Felicity closed the bathroom door behind her._ _

__When she came back out, Oliver was already under the covers in just his boxers. Felicity had changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top. She laid down on his right side, curling up to him similar to last night, being careful of his bruises. “I’m not afraid of your nightmares, Oliver. Sleep. I’ll be here.” Felicity said softly, and Oliver hugged her tightly in reply. She drifted off to sleep shortly after._ _

_________________________ _

___I remember the day after the Undertaking. It was good and bad. I saw a side of Felicity that I had long ignored. I came to realize and even whispered it to her while she slept that night, that I loved her. I wanted to earn the right or chance to love her properly. To take it slow to make sure our friendship was never harmed. I never got to tell her. I don’t know if I ever will. I wonder if she’s given up on me by now. I have. I haven’t seen her in three months. She’s the only one that could find me now. I wasn’t strong enough to be the hero that she said she saw in me and that Starling City needed._ _ _


	13. Losing Your Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver's world completely shatters the moment he lets his guard down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To answer a question - The paragraph at the end of the previous chapter was Oliver writing. It was foreshadowing this chapter. Just keep in mind - I like happy endings, the characters just have to get there first. **This chapter also contains some stuff that could be triggering for folks with anxiety.** Thank you for reading and reviewing! Enjoy.

Felicity walked into Oliver’s room at Queen Manor. He stood in front of his mirror seeming to study every inch of the black suit he had on. Tommy’s funeral was in an hour. Oliver held his tie in his right hand. “Let me help,” Felicity said, as she took it from him. 

His eyes had the far off stare she had seen more than once, and especially the two weeks since the Undertaking. “Come back to me,” she whispered as she began to tie his tie. His eyes shifted to her. “Hi there.” 

“I…” He started, but she interrupted.

“Dig and I will be there. So will Thea. Laurel agreed to do the eulogy. All you have to do is say good bye to Tommy.” Felicity said softly as she perfected his tie.

The past two weeks had them at each other’s side. Thea and Felicity properly met about a week earlier while Oliver was giving Felicity a tour of the house. Oliver was happy at how well they got along, and that both of them had someone finally that spoke the same language about popular television shows. Laurel and Oliver even talked, which was rough, but ended on a better note than the phone call did. Walter had given Felicity the last two weeks off. He saw how she was helping Oliver and told her that was more important than any computer at Queen Consolidated. She didn’t argue. She and Oliver had spent many nights talking, driving around, hanging out with Thea, and Oliver even got her out on his motorcycle. 

Felicity squeezed the fingers of Oliver’s right hand, “We need to go.” 

Oliver hugged her. She felt his hand on the small of her back, pulling her tightly against him. “Keep me together today.”

“I will,” she replied, kissing his cheek.

___________________

When they arrived at the funeral, reporters swarmed them. Dig led the way in, and Oliver put Felicity in between them. Oliver muttered curses under his breath at the reporters for not staying away today. Once they were safely inside, the three of them sat in the back – Oliver in the middle. _My support_ , he thought. Oliver watched as the rest of the people filed in and found their seats. Laurel looked over at him and smiled. She wasn’t sure of Felicity, and Oliver hadn’t told her everything. It was due to a mix of not wanting to deal with it and trying to remove himself from having to explain everything to Laurel. 

Felicity sat on his right side, her hand already squeezing his fingers. Oliver focused on that feeling. Dig had mentioned something a few days back about how close Felicity was lately. Oliver told him some of the story, and John’s only response was “About damn time.” He was just glad to still have their support since he told them he was giving up being the Hood. The promise to his father ended with the Undertaking. Felicity had argued that Malcolm could still be alive. _I’m not the hero she sees in me or wants me to be_ , he thought.

Oliver felt his brain wanting to check out, and he let it. Felicity would bring him back to reality when it was safe.

__________________

That evening Oliver, Felicity and Thea sat on the back patio of Queen Manor. It had been a hard day for them, especially Oliver. Thankfully it was over now. Moira’s trial was the only thing that loomed in the future for the Queen family. Walter was working late at the office, so they had the house to themselves.

“You know I had a huge crush on Tommy, Oliver?” Thea asked.

Oliver rolled his eyes, “Yes.” He left out the part about Tommy thinking Thea was hot.

“You would have grumbled lots if we dated, wouldn’t you?” Oliver just shook his head. “No fun. That’s what you are.”

“So this is what it’s like to have siblings,” Felicity chuckled. 

“You’re an only child?” Oliver asked.

“Yup.” Felicity took a sip of her wine. Most of the talking the past two weeks had been random things. Some island stories. Mainly Oliver just opening up. He realized Felicity never talked about her family much. _I’ll have to ask her about it all later_ , he thought.

“Hey! I was an only child for five years,” Thea stuck her tongue out at Oliver. “As neat as it was, I’m glad to have him back.”

“Glad to be back, Speedy.” Oliver looked over at Felicity and Thea sitting across from him. They were two women who would move hell and Earth to make sure that he was okay. 

“Felicity, did Oliver tell you about the time he and Tommy rented a football stadium so that they could have a lingerie sleep over with the models from New York fashion week?” Thea giggled, and Oliver rolled his eyes.

“No, he hasn’t,” Felicity looked at Oliver. “Sounds interesting.” She laughed. _I love that sound, her laugh_ , he thought.

Before Oliver could say anything else, he felt a stabbing pain in his neck. He dropped his wine glass and put his hand up to where the pain was. A dart. His vision began to fog. “Run…” he choked out before everything went black.

___________________

Thea’s head was pounding when she woke up. She rubbed her eyes, coaxing them to focus. “Ollie?” Thea said, trying to stand up, but she fell back down. “Felicity?” There were no replies. Her vision started to clear. Chairs were over turned, broken wine glasses on the patio, and she was alone. “OLLIE! FELICITY!” 

She ran into the house, still shouting their names. Her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest. Thea remembered Oliver told her to call Diggle if something ever happened. She fumbled to get her cell phone out of her pocket. While her vision was clearer, her reflexes were still off. 

“Thea?” John’s confused voice answered the phone.  
“Someone’s taken Oliver and Felicity. We were sitting outside when Oliver got hit by a dart. By the time he could tell us to run, we were hit as well. I just woke up. They are gone,” Thea was crying by now, “John, they’re gone.”

“Thea, I want you to go to your room and lock the door. I’m going to call a friend to come over there to watch you. It’ll be Scott, do you remember him?” Diggle had regularly picked his friend’s to help with times that the Queen’s needed extra security.

“Yes, I do.” 

“Go now. Let me know when he gets there with you.”

“John, find them, please.” Thea pleaded. While she had just met Felicity, she had grown to like her. Felicity made Ollie happy, which made Thea happy. “I can’t lose Ollie again.”

“I will.” And the phone went silent. Thea ran up the stairs to her room and slammed the door. She grabbed the arrowhead that Ollie gave her before she went in her closet to hide.

__________________

Oliver’s eyes squinted trying to focus in the darkness. He was held to the chair he was sitting in with metal cuffs around his wrists and ankles. “Felicity?” _Please be alive._

The lights came on. They were in a storage room it looked like. “No…” Oliver choked out as he looked in front of him. Felicity hung from the ceiling by her hands – shackles and chains holding her there. 

“Yes, Oliver.” A man’s voice came from behind. 

Oliver felt his heart stop. “I killed you.” He said calmly.

“My boy, redundancy. You and I were not the only people that knew we were fighting. You had Mr. Diggle for back-up. I had my own.” Malcolm came around in front of Oliver, getting in his face. “I will give you credit, though. You did finally win around. I did not think you had it in you to do what you did.” He walked over to Felicity, who had not woken up yet. “What happened to Laurel? To the girl that you betrayed my son over.” 

Felicity screamed as Malcolm slapped her hard across the face. She shook her head and looked around. Oliver could see her brain sorting through the information she could gather, and then she looked at him. “Oliver.” She whispered, as Malcolm slapped her again, causing blood to drip from her nose. 

Oliver felt sick to his stomach. _Dammit, Felicity. Why did you have to be right? Why did I have to ignore your worries?_ “Leave her alone, Malcolm” Oliver was shocked at his voice. It had steadied. “If you want to torture someone for Tommy, torture me.”

“There is no fun in that. You’ve been through torture.” Malcolm sneered. “But you have not heard the cries of someone you love as they die. You have not watched someone you love die!” 

“YES I HAVE!” Oliver yelled. “I watched Tommy die. I watched my dad die. I watched Sarah die.” 

“Tommy would not have died if it wasn’t for you or your mother. He wouldn’t have gone to the Glades to save Laurel that night.” Merlyn pointed to Oliver, “His blood is on your hands.”

“No. _YOU_ are the one that placed the devices. You, my mother, and the others that were part of the undertaking.” Oliver looked up at Felicity. “Not her. She has nothing to do with this.”

Malcolm walked around Felicity. She still wore the knee length black dress from the funeral. Her hair was down, and she had her contacts in. Oliver’s nightmares were playing out in front of him as Malcolm grabbed a knife from a nearby table. “Now, I think you have a scar, here.” He touched his free hand to Felicity’s abdomen. 

“Don’t you dare hurt her.” Oliver hissed.

“Or you’ll what? Finally kill me?” Malcolm teased. “I’m better than you, boy. You are not the hero this city thinks you are. You are weak and hopeless.” 

Malcolm ran the knife across Felicity’s abdomen before Oliver could reply. She screamed as the blade cut through her dress. Oliver watched as her pale skin was painted red with blood. Tears streamed from her eyes. “Felicity, look at me,” Oliver pleaded. “Breathe.” She looked at him. “I’m sorry…”

Felicity couldn’t reply before Malcolm was back in her face. “You are the little punk that got in my computer system, aren’t you?”

Oliver watched Felicity regain what composure she could before answering Malcolm. “Yes, you asshole.” She head butted Malcolm as hard as she could. Oliver grinned watching the look of surprise color Malcolm’s face as Felicity had cut his forehead. She had also cut her own, but she didn’t seem fazed. _You are a lot stronger than you look_ , he thought. “I see why you get along with him. Just as stubborn.” Malcolm said as she ran the knife across Felicity’s upper arm. She winced from the pain, which sent her spinning slightly. “I think that’s enough for right now.” Malcolm said returning the knife to the table. “You two lovebirds chat.” He walked out of the room. 

When Oliver heard the steel door shut, he started to try to get out of the restraints. “Oliver, are you okay?” He heard Felicity whisper.

“Yes, please, save your strength.” Oliver pleaded her. “I’m so sorry I put you in danger.”

Felicity raised her head and looked at him, “Oliver Queen, I’ve lived more since I’ve met you than I ever did with just my computers, books, and tv.” She took a deep breath in, “I would rather tolerate a little danger to have you in my life, than go back to boring old IT girl.”

“I promise when we get out of here, I will put how many ever arrows you want me to in Malcolm.” 

“Good. I want to watch,” She said, her words slurring slightly.

“Stay with me, Felicity, please!” Oliver felt the tears run down his cheek. He fought harder against the restraints. Minutes felt like hours while he was hopeless to help Felicity as she hung there bleeding. When the door opened again, Oliver reigned in his emotions to keep from giving Malcolm any more ammunition against them. 

“Oliver.” It was Dig’s voice that hit Oliver’s years. 

“How?” Oliver asked as Dig unhooked the metal latches that held him down. “Our girl over there decided to put a tracker in your normal shoes as well. She was worried about something like this.” 

“I know. I feel like an idiot for ignoring her worries.” Oliver said running over to Felicity the moment he was free. “Help me get her down.” He hugged her close, “Hey there, look at me, Felicity.” 

She smiled at him, “My hero.” Looking at Dig, “And hero.” Looking back at Oliver, “Torture hurts. I have a new found…” 

Oliver interrupted her with a kiss, “Only you would ramble right now.”

“Hey, they always say do what you are good at.” Felicity’s arms fell down around Oliver’s neck as Dig released the chains.

“Let’s get you out of here.” Oliver grabbed the shackles and began to work on them. He felt the arrow fly past his face. By the time he looked up, the black feathered arrow lodged in Felicity’s chest. “NO!” Oliver screamed as he caught her before she collapsed to the ground.

________________

By the time they got Felicity to the hospital, her breathing was labored. True to form, she tried to ramble as Oliver begged her to save her strength. He refused to leave her side as the medical team worked on her. Oliver saw Detective Lance outside the room. Don’t die, Felicity. He knew he was crying. His stoicism had faded. He wanted his best friend to live. Tommy wasn’t even settled in the ground. _I can’t bury another friend. Not her. Not now. I need her._

The sound he had been begging to not hear pierced his thoughts. Felicity was flat lining. Oliver screamed. His voice cracked, and he raced to her side. 

“Get him out of here!” The doctor ordered.

“No.” Oliver growled.

Dig grabbed him in a bear hug and pulled him back out of the room. Oliver fought against Dig with every ounce of strength he had left. 

“LET ME GO, DIG!” Oliver yelled. 

Still nothing. _I’ve lost her_. Oliver felt himself shattering again. He felt the panic setting in. His heart racing. Oliver turned and ran. The summer night hit him as he ran out of the hospital. He didn’t stop until his legs gave out. Oliver took the tracker out of his shoe. Smashed his cell phone. And with that, Oliver Queen was gone.


	14. Lost in Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three months after Malcolm's attack, Felicity searches for Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the views. =) I hope you enjoy. The next bit pays due to a plot bunny I picked up on tumblr.

Felicity stared at the monitors. “Give me something, already,” she yelled at them. 

“I don’t think yelling helps, Felicity,” Dig said from behind her. “Still nothing?”

“No.” Felicity sighed. 

It had been three months since Malcolm attacked her and Oliver. Three months since she almost died. Three months since Oliver ran away. Three months she had been deciding if she wanted to put an arrow in Oliver herself or kiss him if she ever saw him again. _Maybe both._ Her anger at him fueled the search. She pulled late hours at the computers under Verdant as Diggle maintained the club upstairs. Starling City had fallen into chaos as every bad guy on a power trip battled for control of the Glades. Queen Consolidated was struggling, as was Merlyn Group. No signs of Malcolm since the night he attacked either. Felicity constantly scanned the internet for anything slightly connected to him.

The attack had gave her the kick start learning to defend herself. Or maybe to kick Oliver’s ass. Felicity mentally put those in the list of things to do to him. After she made sure he was okay. Diggle told her about Oliver freaking out when she flat lined. It was close for a little bit. Malcolm’s arrow barely missed her heart. It took twenty minutes of the doctor’s fighting to stabilize her, and then a four hour surgery. 

For all the anger she had at Oliver, she was very much worried about him. He dropped off the grid the night she was injured. With what they could piece together, he grabbed what clothes he could from home, his bow crate from the foundry, and then left. No credit card purchases. No cell calls. Nothing. Felicity knew Oliver had plans in place if he ever had to run. They all involved off network things. In the back of her mind, she knew she’d never find him unless he wanted her to. Felicity wasn’t about to give up. _Mysteries need to be solved._

“Go upstairs. Get some water, take a break, something,” John pleaded.

“I hate the club during business hours.” Felicity groaned.

“I’m not asking you to have social hour. Just five minutes away from these computers.” Dig put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m worried about him, too.”

Felicity gave up arguing and went upstairs for a break. 

She was upstairs only a few minutes when Diggle came to get her. “So yelling might have worked.”

Felicity felt hope rise up inside of her. She forced it back down, because this was not the first potential lead that didn’t pan out. Felicity ran back down to her computers in the foundry. Typing and reaching at the alerts that popped up, she smiled, “Gotcha.”

__________________

First thing the following morning, Felicity walked into Walter’s office. He was officially CEO of Queen Consolidated again and desperately trying to hold it together. Walter and Felicity talked often, as she hung out with Thea regularly.

“Remember how you told me if I ever needed help when it came to Oliver that I only had to ask?” Felicity said as she walked in the door.

Walter immediately put the paper work that he was working on to the side of his desk, “Yes, I do. Did you find something?”

“I think I found him, Walter, but I can’t get to him without help.” Felicity admitted. “I am not sure what I might find or how long it may take for me to bring him home.” 

“Tell me what you need, and it’s yours, Felicity.” 

“A plane, a vehicle that can go off road when I get there, and a satellite phone.” Felicity said plainly. “And I need you to not give Thea hope until I know for sure.”  
Walter agreed to everything without a second thought. Felicity thanked Walter and left to pack.

She called John on her way home. “Everything is set.”

“Felicity, do you want me to go with you?” He asked.

“No. You have Carly, her son, and the club to look after.” Felicity started her car. “Plus I at least know Oliver won’t put an arrow in me no matter what mental state I find him in. I hope. I have a satellite phone in case I need help in a hurry.” _Felicity amazed herself at how well she was hiding just how nervous she was._

__________________

Oliver’s beard was filled in from three months of not trimming it. His hair was longer. He had settled into seclusion. Oliver wasn’t sure if Felicity was alive or dead. The last time he saw her she was. Three months later, the thought still sent panic through his veins. “I hope they are safe with me gone,” he said to the trees in the clearing. 

He heard something heading his way from the north. He knocked an arrow and listened as the sound got closer. _Maybe it would be something for dinner_ , he thought. Oliver shocked himself on how easy he remembered how to live like he did on the island. Whatever was in the woods was almost at the clearing. Oliver took a deep breath.

His senses were expecting an animal to go along with sound. What he heard lit every nerve in his body on fire and caused him to grip his bow tighter to keep from shaking. “Oliver.” _Felicity._ Oliver whipped around, keeping his arrow aimed at where the voice came from. “You aren’t real. I saw you die,” he whispered. She looked different. Her dresses and skirts were replaced with jeans. Hiking boots in place of her heels. The tank top he recognized. Her glasses. The bright lips. Painted finger nails. Ponytail. “You’re a dream.”

She stepped closer to him. _Fearless, I remember that._ “I’m not a dream.” Her voice was calm.

“You have to be. I saw you die….” Oliver felt his eyes sting as tears tried to fall.

“I did die. It took them twenty minutes of fighting to get me completely stabilized and back. I crashed two more times in that time. I spent two weeks in the hospital. I am very much alive, however.” She closed the gap between them more.

“I dream about you so much. Wake up hoping you’ll be next to me, but you aren’t.” Oliver whispered. His body was shaking, and the bow was getting harder to hold properly. _Please be real, Felicity._

As if she read his mind, she stuck the tip of her thumb to the sharp point of the arrowhead. Blood eased to the surface in a perfect droplet. “I’m real, Oliver.” She grabbed the hand that held the bow shaft and squeezed it as tight as she could. “Come back to me, Oliver.”

Oliver stared at the drop of blood on Felicity’s thumb. The sensation of her hand squeezing sent warmth throughout his body. “Felicity?” She nodded and smiled. Oliver dropped the bow and pulled her in tightly. “You’re alive!” Guilt rushed over him, “I’m so sorry I ran.”

“We’ll talk about that later, just hug me right now.” Felicity said, wrapping her arms around him. 

The berry scent of her shampoo. The gentle curls of her ponytail. Her head against his chest. If this was a dream, Oliver did not want to wake up. “I love you, Felicity.”


	15. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's anger at Oliver comes out. Oliver learns just how much Felicity has changed in three months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update! I hope you enjoy! Thank you all for the reviews and feedback. =) I'm considering making a spinoff fic of Oliver's journals. I'm going to be re-watching Arrow again soon, so I can pair it with the flashbacks. Feel free to find me on tumblr or Twitter. I tend to post sneaks/teases! Thank you all again.

Oliver felt Felicity tense in his grasp. She looked up at him with a coldness in her eyes, “You tell me that now? After making me worry about you for three months. After making your sister think she lost her brother again. After abandoning everyone again. After abandoning the city that had begun to depend on you to keep them safe. After so much.” Her tone was so sharp and harsh. _I’ve never heard her like this_ , Oliver thought. Felicity put her hands on Oliver’s shoulders and shoved him off of her. “I woke up asking for you. Diggle had to tell me you ran. We needed you. I NEEDED YOU!” She shouted at him. 

“Did you just find me to yell at me, Felicity?” Oliver sighed.

She swallowed hard, “No.” 

“Then why?” Oliver glared at her. _This was not what I dreamed._

“To bring you home.” Oliver could see she was trying hard to keep her composure.

“Everyone is safer if I’m not there. Malcolm wants me dead. You see where that got you. If I’m out of the picture, the pleasure of taunting me is taken out of play.” Oliver walked past Felicity, towards the path. He heard Felicity growl in frustration. Oliver was not expecting the sound of his recurve bow string being pulled back and an arrow flying passed his head landing in a tree on the other side of the clearing. “What the…” He turned around to see Felicity had pulled another arrow from the pile on the ground. She had almost perfect form. He couldn’t help but think if she wasn’t five seconds from crying, she would have nailed it. “When did you learn?”

“I got bored waiting for you to pull your head out of your ass and come home, Oliver Queen.” She dropped the bow to her side, “its basic physics. It clicked in my head, and it made me feel closer to you. I thought about you every single day. EVERY one of them. I missed you while you put yourself back in isolation. I am so angry at you, but so thankful you are alive. I do wonder if you ever even thought of me like I did you. Or if I was just someone there to pick up your pieces, because I sure as hell don’t feel loved.”

Oliver felt frustration boil up inside of him. He turned and walked back towards his cabin. Felicity followed behind him. _Why did you even come?_ He stopped at the back of the cabin and leaned his head against the wall. “I did think about you. Every, damn day.” He didn’t turn around.

“Why didn’t you let us know, let me know you were okay?” She was right behind him.

Oliver turned around and grabbed her by the waist. He swung her to pin her against the wall. “I had to fix myself. I broke. Worse than the night of the Undertaking. I saw the one person that had been holding me together die in front of my eyes. I saw you get beat up. Tortured with the one of the same wounds I have. I felt hopeless as I watched you bleed out in front of me. I held you as you were shot. I lost it, Felicity.” Oliver realized he was crying and so was she, “I knew I loved you from the night in your apartment. I just did not want to rush it. I wanted to earn the right to love you. To completely break free of Laurel and that cycle. Not ruin our friendship.” Feeling her body so close to his was intoxicating. “Felicity, I’m so sorry for so many things.” He gently kissed her forehead.

Oliver started to turn around, when he felt Felicity’s hands wrap around his waist, keeping him there. She was looking through him when she started talking. “For months I’ve had this duality in my head between loving you and being angry at you. I knew why you ran, but it did not make it any easier to accept.” Oliver felt her holding on tightly to his t-shirt. “The one time I really needed you, you weren’t there. No matter how much part of me understood why, I just wanted my best friend.” Oliver’s body was pressed completely against Felicity’s. He could feel her soft sobs. “The man I love.” 

Felicity twisted her hands, pulling Oliver even closer into her. “Felicity…” His heart was racing. “I..” He put his hand against her cheek like he had many times before.

“You want what?” She said breathlessly.

“To kiss you. Really kiss you.” Oliver said clenching his jaw. _And so much more…_

“Do it.” Felicity gasped, “Please.” 

Oliver leaned down and kissed her passionately. His back arched slightly as she slipped her hands under his t-shirt. Oliver could taste her tears as they kissed, and he realized he was crying his own. Both of their bodies relaxed as they kissed. Oliver pulled back and looked into her eyes. “There is one thing I want and need before we take this farther than where it is now. I have to and want to go into this open.” As much as he wanted to stay in her arms, he pulled away. _Please let this not scare her away._

Oliver walked over to his bow crate that was against the wall. He pulled out the journal Felicity gave him months ago and walked back over to her. “I’ve wrote in this every day since I’ve been here. I know you’ve always accepted me, sight unseen of all my demons, but I need,” He felt this hands shaking, “want you to know my past.” He handed her the journal. “I’m going to go chop more fire wood so we’ll have enough. I’ll be back. Promise.”

“Keep this one?” Felicity whispered. _I know I have to earn back some of your trust_ , Oliver thought. 

“Yes.” Oliver smiled. He noticed she kept just staring at the journal. “Yes, Felicity. I’m sure I want you to read it.” She didn’t have to ask. He knew. 

___________________

 

When Oliver shut the door to the cabin, Felicity sighed and slid down the wall. “I can’t believe I shot an arrow at him, and I didn’t hit him. Which is good, since I was aiming for the tree, but I did have a cooler way planned to show him my new skill. I so don’t think well when I’m angry.” She rambled to herself. Felicity touched her lips. They still tingled slightly from Oliver’s kiss. 

Felicity held the journal tightly. When she bought it, she really didn’t think Oliver would write in it. _I thought he’d laugh at it, actually._ “Man, so much as changed,” she said. Once Oliver started writing, Felicity never dreamed Oliver would let her read it. She just wanted him to have some outlet for the things he could never speak of. Part of her felt guilty for what she was about to do, but Oliver told her it was okay. 

As she opened the journal, something fell to the floor. Felicity picked up the piece of paper. My note. The paper was worn, and its folds were permanently etched into it. She smiled as she set it down on the floor next to her. Felicity opened the journal to the first page. She remembered the night he started writing, and she started reading.

__________________

Night had fallen by the time Oliver returned to the cabin. He wanted to give Felicity time to read what he wrote. The journal was some of those five years, some things about his pasts before, some things about Laurel, some things about her – he just wrote what was in his head that wanted out. _Maybe one day, I’ll admit to her that she and Speedy were right about opening up to someone._

Oliver found Felicity where he left her. He pushed the instant worry that hit him away. She looked up at him, her eyes red from crying. Oliver couldn’t place the look on her face. “Felicity?” Oliver walked towards her. 

She didn’t reply. _Was this a mistake?_ Oliver kept walking as Felicity stood up. She dropped the journal on the floor. Oliver opened his mouth to say something. Felicity put her finger to his lips. She shook her head no. Felicity grabbed Oliver’s t-shirt and pulled it up. Oliver watched her ever movement. They were so precise and calm, which eased his heart some. He helped her take his shirt off. “Tell me what you are thinking, please.” 

She didn’t reply, again. Felicity lightly ran her fingers of the scars that were etched into his chest and abdomen. The Bratva tattoo. She turned him around and began tracing the scars on his back. Her fingers lightly outlined the red dragon tattoo. The burn on his lower back was the last one she touched. Oliver tried to steady his breathing and temper his worry as she turned him back around. They were in the same position as earlier with her still against the wall. “Talk to me, please.” 

“Like before?” She whispered, putting her hand over the scar she bandaged the night of the Undertaking. “Missed my babbling about random things?”

“Very much so,” he smiled.

“I know why when I squeeze your fingers it helps you focus.” She grabbed his right hand, “Especially this hand.” 

Oliver closed his eyes, “Why is that?” _I wonder if she figured it out?_

“I had an idea, but I didn’t know for sure until I picked up a bow.” Oliver felt his heart skip a beat. _You did, didn’t you?_ “Your bow string puts pressure in the same spots on your fingers. You feel safe behind your bow.” Felicity squeezed his fingers. “You feel safe with me.”

“Very much.” Oliver bit the inside of his lip to keep his composure. “Felicity, I’m sorry if the journal upset you.”

“Don’t be. You should have been more worried if it didn’t upset me. You went through hell.” Felicity tilted his head down so she was looking directly into his eyes. “I know the island and its demons will be with you forever. A favorite quote of mine from Doctor Who makes complete sense to me now.”

_My geek_ , Oliver thought. “What’s that?”

“ _’One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.’_ ” Felicity kissed him softly. Oliver understood the quote as well. _Could I tolerate going back home to have you in my life?_ “I love you, Oliver Queen.” 

Oliver picked her up. Felicity wrapped her legs around his waist as he kept her back against the wall. “I love you, too.” He smiled. “Will you stay here with me? For a little bit? I’m not ready to go home, but I don’t want to be apart from you.”

“I’ll stay, on one condition.” She smirked.

“Name it.” Oliver felt alive for the first time in months.

“Kiss me like you did earlier.” 

Oliver kissed her sweetly and passionately. He focused on her and pushed back the fear of leaving this safe haven. Oliver knew she’d get him back to Starling City. She always was his moral compass, and Starling City did need a hero. Oliver just feared history repeating itself the minute he let his guard down, and he still did not see the hero she saw. “Thank you for never giving up on me,” Oliver whispered in Felicity’s ear as he kissed her neck.

“Oliver Queen, someone has to keep you straight, and apparently I’m the only one you’ll listen to. And the only one that can spot your lies a mile away.” 

Oliver chuckled and kissed her again. “You are so right,” he finally admitted.


	16. Taken by the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver finds out just how Felicity found him, plus a secret about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update! The weather is funky here, so not sure if I'll have an update tomorrow. We're in the path of Tropical Storm Andrea. Should just be a ton of rain. The next chapter will probably time jump some. Thea will be back as well, or in the one after that. Thanks for all the reviews and replies. =) The title of this chapter comes from the Darren Hayes song of the same name. Also this chapter shows that not everything was in the journal. (Still considering the spin off fic.)

Oliver woke up the next morning after sleeping soundly for the first night in months. His heart instantly panicked as Felicity wasn’t there. “That wasn’t a dream. It was real…” Oliver said as he bolted out of bed. “Felicity!” He called out. Oliver ran outside, but he sighed in relief when he saw her in the clearing. She was practicing with a recurve bow that wasn’t his.

He chuckled, “You have your own bow, too? So that is what was in that box on the porch.”

Felicity looked proud of herself, “Yup!” She was dressed in the same jeans from yesterday, but a purple tank top instead of the blue one. Her hair was braided in pigtails. _That’s new_ , Oliver thought with a smirk.

“When you were gone when I woke up, I thought for a second I dreamed yesterday.” Oliver admitted.

“You were sleeping so soundly when I woke up. I’m actually surprised that I didn’t wake you up.” Felicity knocked an arrow. “I love sleeping with you, but I wanted to practice some since I’ve gotten used to it.” Oliver grinned, and Felicity realized what she had said. Her cheeks flushed red, “I mean just sleeping. Not that we had sex. Though that idea isn’t a bad one, but not yet. And archery practice. But, I’m going to shut up now.” Felicity tried to shoot her arrow but missed the tree she was aiming for by a bit.

“Want some help?” Oliver asked, walking up behind her.

“Sure.” Felicity said, jumping slightly as Oliver’s hands touched her. His left lightly on her waist, and his right on her right as it pulled back the bowstring.

“Breathe, Felicity.” Oliver could tell her heart was racing by the way she was breathing. “You aimed an arrow perfectly yesterday while completely pissed off at me. But now that you are flustered, you miss.” Oliver was enjoying himself way too much.

Felicity took a deep breath, “I think better when I’m angry. Flustered leads to nerves which leads to me forgetting the physics that are at the root of this.”

“You approach archery the way you approach life. By the facts.” Oliver whispered in her ear.

“You can’t talk,” she said turning to face him. “You follow your instincts.”

“And we balance each other.” Oliver could tell by her face, she wasn’t expecting that reply. “Now, turn back around.” 

Felicity did. Oliver placed his hands back in their spots. Felicity took a deep breath in, released the arrow, and hit the tree. “Yes!” She cheered for herself.

“You’ve changed so much since we first met.” Oliver said.

“Is that a good or bad thing?” Felicity turned back towards him. The sight of her with a quiver strapped to her back and archery gear on was such an interesting sight to Oliver.

“Good. You are stronger.” He touched her cheek. “And as smart and fearless as ever. And that reminds me, how did you find me?”

Felicity just smirked. “You aren’t as good as you think you are Oliver.” 

"Really?" He took her bow, an arrow from her quiver and hit a target without any hesitation.

“Show off,” Felicity grumbled.

“Seriously, how?” Oliver really did wonder. “I got distracted yesterday, so I forgot to ask.” He grinned.

“During one of our late night talks, you said if you ever had to run, you’d drop off of the grid. So when you vanished, I started tracing anything I could think about that might show up. I tracked any bank account you could access in case you slipped up.” Felicity’s eyes sparkled, “What found you was a special search I put together. I tracked all land and housing purchases to see if any names came up that could be you. No matter how hard you keep off grid, public land records usually see a computer eventually.” 

“So that’s what got me…” Oliver grinned. 

“Jonas Dearden,” Felicity, cocking her head to the side. Oliver chuckled and shook his head. “I literally piled every name into the searches database that you might even think of using. So when Jonas Dearden bought a cabin up on a mountain at least an hour from any more of civilization, I took the chance it was you. Your and Thea’s middle names.”

 _Why did I ever think you’d give up on me?_ “You are remarkable.”

“Thanks for remarking it,” Felicity snickered. “You know you could call Thea…”

“Not yet.” _Thea is going to kill me for running_ , Oliver thought. “How is she?”

“Good. I’ve spent a lot of time with her the past few months. Walter was going to take her with him on a European business trip tour so she wouldn’t get suspicious when I left.”

“Wait a minute…so who knows you are here or why you are gone?” 

“John and Walter.” Felicity replied. “Walter helped me get here.”

Oliver had realized Walter cared for him a lot after everything came to light. “You know Walter knows that I was the Hood?”

Felicity nodded, “I had an idea, but he hasn’t said anything. It seems like this unspoken thing we both know, but don’t want to be the first to say out loud. I do know he cares about you.”

“I know.” Oliver grabbed her by the waist. “I want to show you something. Let’s go put your bow up.” Felicity turned her head, about to ask something. “No. No questions. Surprise.” Oliver kissed her to make sure she didn’t argue. 

_________________

 

“No, Oliver.” Felicity pulled her hand from his. 

“What’s wrong?” Oliver asked as he turned to her.

Felicity pointed at the lake Oliver had lead them to. “I can’t swim.” 

“It’s more than that, isn’t it?” Oliver’s eyes flashed that look of concern she loved. 

“I almost drowned when I was ten. Ever since then I’ve been terrified of deep water. More so if I can’t tell how deep it is.” Felicity felt her hands shaking. “The lake is beautiful, though!” _You aren’t afraid to come up on a mountain by yourself to look for someone that may or may not be here, but this has you shaking like a leaf. Calm down_ , Felicity thought to herself.

“Hey, look at me,” He put his hand on her cheek. She loved that feeling. “I had no idea. You don’t have to go in unless you want to.”

“I also did not pack a swimsuit.” Felicity countered.

He grinned. _Uh oh_ , Felicity thought. “We don’t need one,” Oliver said as he kicked off his shoes and pulled off his shirt. After three months of not seeing him shirtless, Felicity caught herself taking a close look at every detailed muscle. Oliver pulled off his pants, and he was standing there in just his boxers. It wasn’t the first time Felicity had seen him like this, but it didn’t mean she still didn’t lose her breath for a moment. Oliver Queen was very pleasant to the eyes. 

Felicity loved watching Oliver like this. He had that real smile etched across his face. She could see in his eyes that he was worried about something. _How am I going to get you off this mountain_ , Felicity thought. “You are going to make me get in there, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” he grinned.

“Do you know how terrified water like that makes me?” Felicity heard her voice crack.

“Do you trust me, Felicity?” Oliver’s face went serious for a brief moment.

“Yes,” Felicity answered, even though she feared he’d run again or that she’d lose him somehow. She did trust him to keep her safe.

“Then take off your clothes and get in here.” Oliver flashed this playful grin. 

_You get way too much pleasure from making me blush_ , she thought. The littlest amount of clothes Oliver had ever seen her in had been pjs. _I’m about to live the fantasy of many girls_ , Felicity thought as she pulled her tank top over her head. She felt her face flush as she realized Oliver was watching her. Felicity turned to face him standing there in matching bright purple bra and panties. She kept biting her lip, “Oh just say what you are thinking already, Oliver.”

“It wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me,” Oliver flashed a mischievous grin. “I will say this though, you are beautiful, Ms. Smoak.” Oliver swam back from the beach a little. “Now, jump in. I’ll catch you.”

“Promise?” Felicity took a deep breath.

“Yes.” Oliver opened his arms. Felicity backed up a few more steps. Closing her eyes, she ran and jumped in. Oliver caught her, holding her tightly against him. She tried to not panic when her feet didn’t hit bottom.

“My hero,” she whispered. 

“I’m not a hero, Felicity.”

“Do you trust me, Oliver?” Felicity attempted to stop her brain from conjuring images of what all she and Oliver could do together in their current state. 

Oliver just nodded. Felicity saw the far off look in his eyes. “I promised you months ago that I would never push you, and I plan to keep that promise. I’ve always seen the hero in you. Always.” Felicity smiled at him. “My mission now is to figure out how to get you to see it. You’ve helped me find a strength inside myself. Let me help you.”

She felt one of Oliver’s hands run up her back slowly. It caused her to lean her head back slightly. His hand stopped just under her bra. The darkness in his eyes returned. Oliver ran his other hand down her chest, stopping at the two other scars from the night she was attacked. _Don’t fade away from me_ , Felicity thought as she released this was the first time he’d seen her scars. “I’m terrified,” Oliver said finally.

“Of what?”

“How badly I want you. How much danger my life brings.” His eyes focused on her again. “Of how badly I want to make things right.” He kissed her softly on the forehead. “You’ve always been a guide for me. I want to believe you that I’m a hero, but I don’t see it right now”

“I know.” Felicity’s brain was blank on ways to prove to him that he was a hero. She just trusted what she felt. “Whatever happens, I’ll be there to help you.”

“The last time I stepped out in public with you, Malcolm attacked.” 

“Then let’s be ready this time.” She into his eyes, “I would not mind putting an arrow in him. Or five.”

His eyes went serious. “No. No way. I know you can shoot, but Malcolm’s skills are perfect. He would kill you this time.” 

“Or I would be the one thing he wasn’t expecting. No one but Dig knew I was teaching myself.” Felicity smiled. 

Oliver shook his head, “Don’t give me that look, Felicity. I know that look. I’m not talking you out of this, am I?” Felicity shook her head with her lips wrinkled up. She felt Oliver’s muscles tense. “Then, we do it my way.”

“And what’s that?”

“I teach you everything I can to make sure that you’ll be safe when we go back home.” Oliver answered. His eyes were full of worry. _He said when not if_ , Felicity thought, _one step at a time_. She wondered what he had planned for her. His eyes started to sparkle as he started to talk, “You are going to start with the same lesson I did for archery.” 

Felicity tilted her head sideways. “But I know the basics already.”

“Maybe,” He snickered, “But, this will help you.” With a grin, Oliver said “We are going to need a bowl and a bucket for water.”

And Felicity was instantly confused.


	17. Breath of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's strength breaks, and Oliver realize just how special she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this update. =) The storm passed us and everything is well here. This was a fun update to write!

Over the last two weeks, Felicity had dreamed up every imaginable insult, curse word, and hateful thing she could think about for this bowl of water that Oliver kept refilling. Oliver, however, couldn’t stop giggling.

“Oh, Shado laughing at me years ago makes SO much more sense now,” He said more than once. Oliver went on to explain that he knew just how frustrated Felicity was at this exercise, but he assured her that it had a point.

“I miss my bow,” Felicity said nearing the end of the water torture for the day. She pouted at Oliver, whom was sitting quietly in front of her doing his damnedest to not grin.

“You realize I’ve been waiting for you to say that about your computers, not a bow.” Oliver replied calmly.

“Well, I miss my babies, too. And if Diggle has harmed them in anyway…” Felicity looked serious, and Oliver lost control of his seriously expression. _Oh I’ve missed your laugh_ , she thought. “What are you laughing at?”

His eyes were sparkling in the morning sunlight. He had a light grey t-shirt on and a pair of cargo pants. Both were dingy with dirt. Felicity’s tank top and jeans carried the same dinge to them. Oliver’s beard was full now, framing his lips and jaw nicely. “You, in my hood, going ‘John Diggle, you have failed my computers.’”

Felicity wrinkled her nose trying to keep from laughing. Her only mature reply was to pick up the bowl of water and dump it on Oliver. She started laughing as it caught him by surprise, which was rare. He stood up to catch her, but Felicity ran. They had played this game a few times the past couple of weeks. Felicity knew Oliver never chased her with his full ability, but he never let her win, which she appreciated. If she won, it was on her own merits. 

After a few minutes of chasing each other around the woods, Oliver caught up to her. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her in. “Gotcha.” He smirked, “Though, you are getting quicker.” His voice had this proudness to it. Felicity really had been trying hard to learn from him. Plus, without her computers, this was her entertainment. The last two weeks had been full of reconnecting, lots of talking, and training.

Felicity pouted as she looked up at Oliver, “May I please have my bow back now?” She tilted her head sideways, “And when do you plan on telling me why I’ve slapped water for two weeks.” Felicity was honestly curious, because the only outcome seemed to be an insanely sore arm and a wet t-shirt.

Oliver made an over dramatic show of rolling his eyes, “Fine.” He chuckled as she ran off to the cabin to retrieve her bow.

Felicity returned quickly to the clearing. She had really grown used to shooting the bow daily over the last few months. Oliver was watching her with that smirk he gets when he just knows that he is right. “Nock an arrow and draw, Felicity.” 

She did what he said, and when she pulled the bow string back with her right hand, the water instantly made sense. “You little shit, you were right…” was all Felicity said as she looked over at Oliver, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

_______________

Later that night, Oliver woke up to find that Felicity wasn’t in bed with him or in the small cabin. Oliver grabbed his cargo pants from the floor and slipped them on. When he opened the door to the cabin, Oliver heard soft sobbing. He saw Felicity sitting with her legs stretched out in front of her. Worry kicked up in his stomach, “What’s wrong?” He sat down next to her. She had one of his button up shirts on over her tank top and pj shorts. Her hair was braided to the side of her head, and her glasses were somewhere inside the cabin. Oliver was surprised at how Felicity had seemed to adjust to being in the middle of nowhere.

Felicity wiped the tears from her eyes, “Nothing, I’m fine.” 

“You lie worse than I do when you are tired,” Oliver replied. “Tell me.” 

She leaned her head on his shoulder as he scooted closer to her. _I’m worried about you_ , Oliver thought to himself. “If I tell you, will you promise to not fade away on me or beat yourself up? I swear, I’ll hit you if you do.” 

“Promise,” and Oliver knew she could hit pretty hard now. She had slipped a time or two in training lately. He had the bruised cheek to show for it, and Felicity’s guilt about it still made him smile.

“I hurt so badly. Muscles I didn’t know I even had hurt. I haven’t slept well for the past few nights.” She paused for a moment, “Sometimes I also have bad dreams about when I was attacked. Of waking up in the hospital wanting to see you, but instead I saw Dig telling me what happened.” Oliver felt his heart sink. “Waking up screaming for you. Not knowing if Malcolm got you.” Oliver grabbed her hand, squeezing it.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about the fallout from me running.” _I really didn’t._ “I wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“If my arm didn’t hurt so bad, I’d slap you, then kiss you.” Felicity said with a soft chuckle.

“Did you pack any pain medicine in your backpack?” Oliver asked.

“Promise to not laugh at me?” 

“I won’t,” Oliver was super curious now.

“Only thing in my backpack is a few changes of clothes and a basic medical kit.” Felicity shifted slightly next to him but kept her head on his shoulder. “I’ve always loved putting experience to things I learned or read about in a book. Well, I figured if I was coming out into isolation to find you, that I wanted to bring only what I needed.” Felicity stopped for a moment, “Gah, I’m not explaining it like what’s in my head. I guess I’m too tired. Basically I wanted to understand better, even if it was just a small fracture of time, what life was like for you on the island. I know how ever long we are here won’t compare, but I don’t know if I’m making any sense.” 

Oliver understood and knew it meant the world to him. Even with as angry as she was at him when she first arrived, she wanted to better understand him. “I love you, Felicity.”

“Love you, too.” _What did I do to deserve you_ , he asked himself. 

“I know something that might help,” Oliver said standing up and offering her his hand, which she took. He led her back in the cabin. “Go sit on the bed.” Oliver got his herbs from his bow crate and kneeled on the floor by the bed. “These should help with the pain.”

“Who taught you about those?” Oliver didn’t mind Felicity’s questions about the island. They were always simple ones, never prying, and she understood if there was no answer. She never saw him as broken and never got mad if he evaded the question.

“Yao Fei.” Oliver ground some herbs up and added some water. “Sip this.”

“Thanks.” Felicity said, wrinkling her nose up.

Oliver snickered, “I know they don’t smell that great, but it should help you relax.” He sat down in front of her and started massaging her calves. Oliver felt her jump slightly at his touch. “Felicity, why didn’t you tell me about any of this?”

“I told you.” She closed her eyes slightly as he massaged her legs. “I worried you’d fade away. I know I’m not as strong as you, and that you want to protect me. I knew if I broke, you might break again. I just wanted to help you, not put more on your shoulders.”

“You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, Felicity.” 

“You think so?” Felicity asked, with a look of honest surprise on her face.

“How many people would purposely put themselves in this situation?” Oliver looked up at her. “Trust me, you are strong.”

She smiled, “And even stronger after slapping water for two weeks!” 

“At least you haven’t gone all psycho on me like the last girlfriend I taught archery, too.” Oliver knew that would prompt a reaction, so he wasn’t surprised when Felicity kicked him.

“Owie…that hurt.” Felicity laughed. “Helena was a little nutty. I promise to not follow her lead in the crazy girlfriend file.”

Oliver was still waiting for half-asleep Felicity to realize what he’d called her. Then it hit her. “Did you just call me your girlfriend?” Oliver smirked and nodded. “I mean, we have slept together for the last two weeks. And gah, I mean just sleep. Not that I wouldn’t mind other things, but seriously, every muscle in my body hurts. And we have already said the ‘I love you’ stuff. And I’m rambling.” Felicity blushed, “I’m Oliver Queen’s girlfriend.”

As hard as he tried, Oliver couldn’t help but chuckle at her. “Yes, you are, Felicity Megan Smoak. The one who snuck up on me, never gave up on me, and is helping to put me back together.”

“You are worth it, Oliver.” Felicity rubbed her hand over his thick stubble. _I’m starting to finally see that_ , he thought.   
________________

 

After a massage and the tea, Felicity fell asleep curled up next to Oliver about an hour later. He stayed up for a bit, thinking and watching her sleep. It amazed him how she put herself on this mountain, outside the safety of her computers, to make sure he was okay. In a way, Oliver envied her strength. It was different than his physical strength. After everything that had happened, Felicity was teaching Oliver how to be alive again for himself, instead of for a vow he made to his father. Oliver couldn’t shake the worry about returning to Starling City. “We’ll keep each other safe,” he whispered, answering himself.


	18. Want to be Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity leave the mountain. Diggle sees just how it's changed both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update has some Diggle POV, which is new. =) The title from this episode comes from the song "Want to be Real" by Chris August. There is also implied something in here, that I could possibly do a spin off of. *wink* Enjoy and thanks for reading!

“We need to go home, don’t we?” Oliver asked out of the blue a week later.

Felicity dropped her bow to her side, “Yes, but when you are ready.”

Oliver nocked another arrow and hit the first random tree branch he saw. “I just.” Oliver sighed. 

“You’re worried,” she finished his sentence. “Me, too. Not to mention about nervous.”

“Why?” 

“You aren’t exactly invisible as Oliver Queen, so people will notice me.” Felicity started to ramble, “Not that I couldn’t hack anyone that posted a bad photo of me, but still.” Felicity turned to Oliver, who was standing behind her, “And as nervous as I am, I refuse to be hidden away in a basement for my safety.” Oliver opened his mouth to start to argue, and Felicity walked up to him. She put a finger to his lips. “No. I know there will be other dangers after Merlyn is dealt with, but I refuse to be sheltered. I might still love my computers best, but I want to be able to defend myself if I have to.”

“You sound more worried about the hype that follows Ollie, than what might happen as the Hood.” Oliver shook his head and chuckled.

“Introvert,” Felicity pointed to herself. 

“We’re going to have to draw Merlyn out.” Oliver’s face went serious. 

“Before I left, the only activity I found linked to him involved local thugs moving into the territories Malcolm bought up before the Undertaking.” Felicity bit her bottom lip. Oliver loved watching her little quirks. “Malcolm has to know what’s happening in those buildings. Even to the point of allowing it. I couldn’t find any information on his actions after the night I was attacked. John and I talked about it often. It’s almost as if Malcolm is waiting for you to come back. It’s one reason I sent Thea to Europe with Walter and a legion of guards. Walter is supposed to keep her entertained until I tell him it’s okay to bring her home.”

Oliver smiled listening to Felicity talk about protecting his sister. “I’m worried about the same thing. Especially putting a target on your back as well.”

“And you don’t think I’ll worry about you? I’m the one that sits in the basement listening over the ear buds. I sit there waiting to hear you say that you are okay. That John’s okay. Wondering what condition you two would come back to me in. Especially when you were on the streak where you didn’t care if you came back alive.” Felicity said sharply, then walked off towards the cabin.

Her words were like a slap in the face, and he realized he had hit a nerve with her. _I forgot how bad I was_ , he thought. Oliver followed her into the cabin. He dropped his bow on the porch by her’s. She was standing at the table, running her fingers around the edges of Oliver’s journal. 

Oliver walked up behind her and turned her towards him. “I have something to live for now. I fought to be alone and to keep everything at arm’s length.” Oliver smirked, remembering something, “Dig even called me on it. He told me that I needed to find someone to remind you who you are. I always thought that was Laurel, but then you came alone. I’ve been off the island for almost a year, and only now do I feel human again. I’m terrified to lose that, Felicity. But you know what you’ve taught me?”

She looked up at him, “What?”

“The fear of losing something shouldn’t keep me from living what life I have. You’d think five years on an island would teach me that, but who knew it would take a geeky blonde computer nerd.” Oliver kissed her.

“So are you saying that I’m right and you were wrong about stuff?” Felicity smirked.

“Let’s not push your luck.” Oliver chuckled, “I can still pick you up and throw you out.” He remembered the first time he threatened that, and she didn’t back down.

“You just hate admitting that you are wrong.” Felicity rolled her eyes.”

“Maybe,” Oliver said, picking her up. He didn’t throw her out though. Oliver backed her up against the wall and gently sat her down. He kissed her neck gently. Oliver felt a shiver move through Felicity. He moved to the other side of her neck and began kissing.

“Oliver,” she whispered through her clenched mouth.   
“What?” He smirked at her.

“I thought you were going to throw me out,” She chuckled, wrapping her arms around him.

“Never,” Oliver slipped a hand under the back of her tank top, and she arched her back at his touch. “Look at me, Felicity.”

Her eyes were a vivid bright blue. Her cheeks were pink. Oliver only wanted this if she did. He wanted to make sure he did everything right this time around. _I want to be with you before we go back. I want us to be completely real_ , he thought to himself. _I want this memory in case I lose you._

As if Felicity could read his mind, she replied, “I want this, too. Don’t stop.”

_______________

Oliver and Felicity enjoyed the last night at the cabin before calling John to set things in motion to get them back home. Four days later, they landed at Starling City International airport. One condition Felicity had to agree to was that she would stay with him until Malcolm was taken care of; so on the way to Verdant, they stopped by her apartment for her to pack some things. Felicity agreed, because honestly, she’d spent enough time alone in the apartment wonder when Malcolm would strike. 

It was mid-afternoon by the time they arrived at Verdant. Felicity realized she had missed this on some level. She’d spent a lot of time in the foundry searching for Oliver. As Oliver opened the side door, Felicity shot past him, “My babies!” She sat down at her computers. “Was John nice to you?” She began typing away, ignoring the guys. 

Oliver chuckled at her as he and Dig brought their stuff inside. “I’m going to go take a quick shower, unless you want to first, Felicity?” Oliver asked.

“Huh? Oh, nope. I want to get some stuff set up first, so I’ll take one after you.” Felicity said, only half paying attention. 

John just smirked at the both of them. “Oliver, want to grab something to eat when you are done? I can catch you up on stuff.”

“Sounds good.” Oliver said as he grabbed a change of clothes from the lockers and went to shower.

John sat down next to Felicity. He spun her computer chair to face him so she’d focus, “How are you?”

Felicity looked frustrated but shook it off, “Good actually. Just didn’t realize how much I missed my computers. Thank you for not killing them.”  
John laughed, “They were well behaved. Things have been fairly quiet here. Moira’s trail starts up soon. I was getting worried when I hadn’t heard from you after about two weeks.”

“He is better. Both of us are better.” Felicity smiled. “You’ll be happy to know that he kept up the training with me, so I have new skills.” Felicity flexed her arms. “I left it up to him on when we took the red pill to find reality again. Thank you for having faith in me to go after him. Have you heard from Thea?”

“Last I did, she was happily touring France.” John said. “She asked if I had heard from Oliver.”

“I’ll see if he’ll call her tonight.” Felicity made a mental note. “He needs to talk to her before we put our plan into action.”

“You two have a plan? For Malcolm?” 

“Sort of. Right now it’s mainly just to get on his radar to show that we are both back in Starling City.” 

“Felicity, aren’t you scared he’ll come after you again?” John asked.

“Yes,” she looked back towards the showers, “Oliver’s worth it. So are you and Thea and everyone else Malcolm could use against Oliver.”

John sat back in his chair and watched the blonde work at the computers. He had seen her without make up when they worked out, and he had seen her focused. Something was different with her though. She was different than the Felicity he sent off three weeks ago to pull Oliver out of hell. John knew she’d go whether he supported her or not. In the back of his mind, John wondered if something happened between her and Oliver. Before John could ask her, Oliver came out for the back, “Let’s go. You want anything Felicity?”

“Surprise me?” She smiled at Oliver.

___________________

Oliver looked at the smirk that had been etched across Diggle’s face since they left the foundry. After swallowing his bit of burger, he asked, “What?”

“What did you do to Felicity?” 

Oliver got worried, “What did she say?”

“Nothing. That’s sort of the problem. Rambling Felicity wasn’t rambling.” John said with a chuckle.  
“You’ve never noticed if she’s focused on something, she doesn’t trip on her words?” Oliver said, taking a sip of water.

“So what else have you noticed about her?” Dig pushed with a grin.

Oliver glared. “A bit.”

“Uh huh.” Dig said. “You ran when you thought she was dead. If it would have been me, I don’t think you would have ran.”

“What do you want to hear, Dig?” Oliver was getting frustrated.

“That you won’t hurt her. She loves you, Oliver.” Diggle said, his tone one Oliver knew. A big brother caring for his little sister.

“I won’t,” Oliver said. “And I love her, too.”

“I know you do,” Diggle grinned.

Oliver rolled his eyes, “Do I even want to know how? I’ve been gone for almost four months, and before that, I was still dealing with what happened the night of the quake.”

“Oliver, man, that girl has had your number since the day you let her in. I’ve seen her ability to call you on your BS. I’ve seen her stand up to you. I’ve seen her talk you down from insanity. She isn’t like any girl that’s ever popped up on your radar. I’ve just been waiting for when you two would finally realize it.” John took a bite of his burger.

Knowing John was right, Oliver just flashed a smirk and kept eating. After a few minutes, he looked up at John and said, “Better question is, what did she do to me?”

“You know that answer,” John said, as the two men kept eating. Oliver smiled to himself thinking of everything Felicity had done for him.

____________________

Oliver loved the sight of Felicity when he came back in the foundry. She’d cleaned up. It had been almost four months since he’d seen her like this. The purple blouse, skinny jeans, and make up. She was back to her normal, yet her new found strength was still there in her eyes. Oliver sat the food and shake he brought her on the desk, “Just take it slow on the real food with what we’ve been eating.” 

“Thanks, I will.” She replied with a smile. Oliver caught a smirk from Dig in the corner of his eye.

“What are you working on?” Oliver sat down in the chair next to her.

“Pulling news stories on crime from the Glades. It could be two fold – you help save people from the Glades from being victims to these scumbags and you attract Malcolm’s attention.” Felicity said, with the worry evident on her voice.

“Oliver Queen also needs to make his presence known, as well.” Oliver said, hating the playboy front he had to keep up.

“Before that happens, you need to call Thea. She would murder me and you if she learns you are back from a gossip blog.” Felicity warned. “I can hack quickly, but not as quick as those pictures would go up.”

“Especially when I have a new lady on my arm,” Oliver added and Felicity blushed.

“Yeah, we might need to talk to Thea about that, though your sister is smart. I think she has an idea.” Felicity said, as John coughed to cover up his laugh.

“John, can you handle one more night of looking after the club?” Oliver asked.

“Sure,” he answered. “Does tomorrow start a new day of Hood life?”

Oliver looked at Felicity, who was looking at him. It’s the question he had been avoiding giving a straight answer to for a while. He hadn’t put the Hood back on since the night of the Undertaking. “Yes, tomorrow night, the Hood will be back.” Oliver hoped Felicity didn’t see the panic in his eyes.


	19. The Game has Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thea learns a secret as Oliver suits back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a nod to Oliver and Chloe from Smallville. I didn't learn about them until Olicity, but I can see the similarities, so they get a nod in this chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for reading and your reviews!

Oliver had dropped Felicity off at Queen Manor while he ran a quick errand. The security team that John had picked out patrolled the grounds. It was very odd being by herself inside such a large house. No matter how much time she’d spent there over the last few months, she still hadn’t explored every room. Back after the Undertaking, Oliver set her up with a guest room here. She had used it often even after he ran. Felicity and Thea would stay up late watching movies. Felicity considered Thea a friend now, which is a lot considering how nervous she used to be around the youngest Queen family member.

As Felicity carried her things up the stairs, her mind traced back over the last few days. The last night in the cabin had seen her and Oliver take their relationship to the next level. At times, she wondered if it was all a dream that someone like Oliver could fall for the geek she was. Being in Oliver’s world had changed her, and she couldn’t deny that. The thought scared her a bit, but it also made her feel alive. After Helena, she had felt vulnerable. Malcolm completely brought it home that the guys would not always be able to keep her safe. For her own sanity, she had to learn something to make herself feel more in control. 

Felicity tossed her bag of clothes on her bed and pushed her bow crate under the bed just in case anyone came in the room besides John or Oliver. She grabbed her laptop case and went down the hall to Oliver’s room. Felicity had spent more than one night in here talking with Oliver until they both fell asleep. She’d also sat in here the nights he was gone, hoping she’d find some clue to where he ran to. Felicity sat on Oliver’s bed with her back to the headboard and turned on her laptop. 

Kicking off her ballet flats, she checked the time. “Uhh..almost one a.m. in France.” She thought, “Well, this is Thea, she’s probably still awake.” Felicity texted Thea, and sure enough she was up. “Skype?” Felicity texted in reply.

“Hey Blondie!” Thea said with a huge smile from the other side of the video feed. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me, too. How has Paris and Europe been?” Felicity asked, glad Thea was in good spirits. 

“Amazing. Wonderful distraction.” 

“I’m glad.” Felicity was trying to think of how to broach the entire conversation that needed to be had. Her phone buzzed with a text from Oliver saying that he was almost back home.

“How was your trip? Walter said you’d be insanely busy, but it’s not like you to not keep up.” Thea was a smart girl, and Felicity knew her ruse wouldn’t work completely.

“Honestly, because I wasn’t where Walter told you I was.” Felicity saw Thea about to get frustrated, “Before you say anything, listen, please?” Thea nodded. “Since Oliver disappeared again, I had programs running to search anything and everything that he might access. I never told you, because I didn’t want to give you hope where there might not be. I got a lead. A really good one at that. Walter helped me get to where I thought Oliver might be.” Felicity saw the hope light up Thea’s face. “I had to go myself. I had to try to save him. He ran because of me. If anyone else went after him, he wouldn’t believe I was still alive.”

“Did you find Ollie, Felicity?” Thea said, her eyes watering.

“I found him. He is safe.” Felicity smiled. “I hope you aren’t mad for me not telling you.”

“No. I just hope you talked some sense into his stubborn head.” Thea giggled through her tears.

“I did, at least I think.” Felicity knew she was smiling thinking about the rest of the time at the cabin. “The trip was good for both of us, I think.”

“Blondie…is there something you aren’t telling me?” Thea asked as Oliver walked in the room. 

Felicity felt herself blush. She looked up at Oliver in the doorway, who was a little confused. While Skype been around before his island adventure, she highly doubted Oliver Queen had ever skyped with someone. _Oh don’t hate me for what I’m about to say_ , Felicity thought. _I can’t lie to her anymore._

“Yes,” Felicity kept her eyes on Oliver, “I love your brother, Thea.” She looked back down at her laptop to see Thea smiling. 

“Felicity, does he know?” Thea asked. “And woe be him if he hurts you more than he already has.” 

Oliver stood in the doorway, listening to them talk. Felicity saw the look on his face as he heard Thea’s words. “He does, and he knows about the time he was gone.”

“Remind me when I get home to slap him for you? For both of us. He put us both through hell. You needed him, and he ran. I thought he’d finally opened up to someone.” Thea was venting, and Felicity kept trying to think of ways to interrupt her. 

What Felicity said next was something Oliver had already heard her say in part, but Thea needed to hear it. “Oliver is opening up. Trust me when I say that. When he thought I died, he lost hope on things ever getting better. He had just buried Tommy. We were attacked by Malcolm. Oliver thought by running he’d keep you safe from Malcolm. Be patient with him, okay? Your brother loves you and does more to keep you safe than you realize some days.” 

Thea was letting what Felicity said sink in, “Is that why you sent me to Europe with Walter?”

“Yes,” Felicity said. “Malcolm is hell bent on making Oliver suffer.” She saw a panic flash in Thea’s eyes. “Don’t worry about Roy. I’m keeping eyes on him. So is John.”

“Thank you, Felicity.” Thea smiled. “So I guess this explains why you are skyping me from my brother’s bed?” Thea always had an ability for being blunt and to the point.

Felicity blushed, and Oliver lost his ability to keep quiet as he chuckled. “Hi Speedy.” Oliver sat down next to Felicity. 

“Hey, you. How long have you been listening?” Thea inquired.

“Not long, just got back.” Oliver got that serious look on his face he used to keep emotions in. “I’m sorry for running.”

“You just better not do it again, okay? I can’t lose you.” Thea said. 

“I won’t. I’ll see you when it’s safe, okies?” Oliver said.

“You bet. Take care of Felicity, she’s pretty awesome, mmmkay?” Thea smirked.

“I will.”

“Talk with you later, Blondie. Thank you for bringing him home.” 

“No problem, Thea. Get some sleep.” Felicity said, closing her laptop.

Oliver was quiet. “I wanted to go ahead and let her know you were okay. I didn’t know how long you’d be gone, and it’s almost one in the morning in France. I’m sorry if you wanted me to wait.” Felicity broke the silence.

“It’s fine. Just listening to you two. Before Tommy’s funeral, you two barely knew each other. Now you seem so close. Hearing her talking about both of you being hurt.” Oliver said as his voice trailed off.

Felicity turned towards him, “We’ve already talked about it. I’m okay. I’m better now that you are back in my life.” She smiled as his face relaxed. “So, what errand did you have to run?”

Oliver grinned as he hopped off the bed and went out into the hall. He came back in and dropped a large box on the bed in front of Felicity. It was like the ones you see in the movies that house fabulous gowns. “For me?”

“Yes, you’ve earned it.” Oliver flashed his genuine smile. 

Felicity slowly opened the box and gasped when she saw what it was. “Are you serious?” She looked up at Oliver who just nodded. Felicity slid off the bed and stood by Oliver. She looked in the box again and giggled. 

“Well, try it on. I think I guessed your size right.” Oliver sounded proud.

“When, in the last four days, which has been spent in airports, did you find time to get this?” Felicity was surprised. “I totally love it!” She slipped it on and walked over to Oliver’s full length mirror. “I can’t believe you got me this.”

“Diggle has one.” Oliver said, “And with the way you are learning a bow, you need one. Because I know, if push came to shove, I couldn’t keep you from coming after me.” Oliver walked up behind her. “Plus, the hood will help hide your blonde hair in the dark.”

Felicity just smiled at herself in the mirror wearing a dark green leather jacket, with a green hood. “I feel like more than just the computer geek now.” She whispered.

“You definitely are.” Oliver wrapping his arms around her. The two of them stood there for a moment looking at their reflections. “The hood comes off with a zipper so you can wear it out as a normal jacket if you’d like.”

“Who knew Oliver Queen could size up a girl so well?” Felicity teased.

“I’ve lived with you in a cabin for three weeks straight, and I have insomnia.” He chuckled. “Look on the inside left side.”

Felicity opened the inside of the jacket. It was lined in a dark blue silk that she could only help think of as TARDIS blue. On the left side, there was an embroidery of an arrow, with the words “To being real” stitched over it. Felicity ran her fingers over it. “To being real,” she whispered. “Oliver you didn’t have to do this.”

“I know.” He sat down on the bed and motioned for her to follow. She stood in between his legs, and he wrapped his arms around her. “I wanted to do something special for you, Felicity.”

“You are setting the bar high on the gift giving.” She giggled as his breath tickled the skin exposed from the low neck line of her blouse. “So, do I get a custom sized pair of leather pants that match?”

“Maybe,” he said. Felicity could tell he was smirking. 

“You know, if you want to see me in a skin tight outfit, I could show you the pictures from the time I cosplayed Samus from Metroid.” Felicity rambled off.

Oliver looked up at her with the funniest confused look on his face, “All I understood from that was you in a skin tight outfit.” He ran his up her back and flipped the hood over her hair. Oliver’s eyes had that faraway look. “I hope you never have to be my back up, but I want to make sure you as safe as I can get you.”

Felicity looked down at him and held his face in her hands. “Do you trust me, Oliver?”

“With my life.” Oliver said without hesitation.

“Ditto,” Felicity kissed him gently. _I hope I never have to either, but I’m glad you trust me to have your back_ , she thought. 

______________

Twenty four hours later, Oliver was dressed as the Hood standing in front of Felicity. Diggle was upstairs keeping an eye on the club. Oliver and Felicity had made their first public appearance at lunch today, so everyone was on alert for signs of Malcolm’s return. Felicity knew she could call Diggle the second Oliver needed back up. 

Oliver smiled seeing Felicity wearing the jack he had bought her. He took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves when she turned her back to him as she went to get the ear bud communication sets. “Stay safe, okay?” She handed him his. “Basic weapons deal bust up. I’ll be monitoring things from here.”

“I will.” Oliver said, grabbing his bow. “Love you, Felicity.” 

“Love you, too.” She said as she manned her position at the computers. 

________________

Oliver rode his motorcycle through the Glades. He tried to not pay attention to the damage, especially as he passed the ruins of the CNRI building. “According to traffic cams, Deanton just pulled into the loading area of the warehouse. Everything seems on time.” Felicity’s voice invaded his thoughts. It helped him focus on what the plan was for the evening – Make a show at places Malcolm owned. 

“Any guess on how many are in there?” Oliver asked as he neared the location.

“Looks to be about ten, but I can’t be certain. No cameras in there than I can get at.” Felicity answered. Oliver could hear her typing away trying to find anything she could. 

With everything that had happened, it was weird being back in the Hood. He was more nervous, yet he had this calm. Now that he’d let Felicity in, knowing she was waiting for him to get back to Verdant safely gave him something to look forward to. “I’m here,” Oliver whispered as he parked his motorcycle a block away. He would take roof tops from here.

“I see you on the traffic camera,” Felicity said. Oliver could tell she was smiling. “Good luck.”

_Let’s do this_ , Oliver thought as he dashed up to the roof top.

________________

Oliver returned to the foundry to find Felicity practicing with her bow and with the hood up on her jacket. He busted out laughing, which made her jump. “GAH!” She turned towards him, “Hey! It’s not funny!”

“You just caught me by surprise. That Hood looks good on you.” Oliver smiled as he pulled his own hood off.

“How did tonight go?” Dig said as he came down the stairs.

“Good, weapons deal stopped, and the police were collecting them as I left.” Oliver looked at Dig, “Club get closed up okay?”

“Yup. The new manager finally has a good sense of things. I just like keeping an eye on it with this all being down here.” _Dig is a good friend_ , Oliver thought. “I’m going to head on home. You two okay?”

“We’ll be fine,” Oliver said.

“Give Carly a hug for me,” Felicity called out as Diggle left.

“So, Merida, ready to go home?” Oliver smirked.

Felicity nodded, “You okay being back under the Hood?” She ignored his teasing. 

“I’m good. I just hope our plan works.” Oliver put his bow up. “But, for now, I want to head home, watch some movie you swear I need to catch up on, and relax. I feel like we haven’t stopped since we got back.” 

“Sounds like a plan,” she smiled at him as she went to turn the computers off.

Oliver sighed under his breath. He couldn’t shake the bad feeling in his gut about this plan, and he was terrified they were tempting fate too much. Malcolm had to be dealt with if they were going to ever be safe again, though. Oliver was determined to enjoy every minute he could get with Felicity, just in case.


	20. Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity have a fight over something they've both been ignoring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is inspired by two songs, both with the title of Hero. One by Darren Hayes and another by Skillet. There is also a nice surprise at the end of this. Blame insomnia plot bunnies. Thank you for all the reads and reviews. =)

Felicity woke up to find Oliver wasn’t in bed with her. She looked around the room but couldn’t see him. Felicity grabbed her glasses off of the bed side table and went to look for him. Most nights neither of them slept well, Oliver being the worst of the pair. Felicity would find him in the large den downstairs watching television so he didn’t wake her up. “Oliver?” She called out, pushing up the sleeves of Oliver’s dark blue button up shirt she wore. It was comfortable and a favorite of her’s. The shirt almost completely covered her pj shorts. More than once Oliver had told her how much he loved the at ease relaxed side of her, and he loved reminding her that she was one of a kind in his life. 

Felicity called out for Oliver again as she reached the bottom of the stairs. Still no answer, which was odd. _Maybe he fell asleep on the couch_ , she thought. She turned into the den to see Malcolm standing there in his black hood. Oliver was tied to a chair. His face was bloodied. “Oliver…” Felicity cried out.

“Awww, playing house now, are we?” Malcolm teased. 

“Felicity, run.” Oliver struggled to get out. 

Before Felicity could run, Malcolm stepped back, drew an arrow aimed at the back of Oliver’s neck. “Run and he dies.”

Oliver winced. “Let her go. You want me dead. Let her go.” He pleaded for Felicity’s life.

“You’re right, I do want you dead, Oliver.” Malcolm released the arrow, and Oliver’s body went limp. Felicity closed her eyes and screamed.

___________________

 

“Felicity,” Oliver whispered. “You’re okay.” He was sitting next to her in bed. His hand was on her cheek. 

“You’re alive,” She whispered. This was the first nightmare she had been through with Oliver. Ignorantly, she thought they were behind her. _I guess a week of attempting to fox out Merlyn has my subconscious going insane_ , she thought. Felicity laid her head on Oliver’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“You didn’t,” his voice was still soft. “Do you want to talk about it?” He kept holding her tightly.

“I woke up, and you weren’t in bed. I was wearing the same clothes, so I didn’t realize it was a dream. I went downstairs to see if you were watching TV, but I found Malcolm holding you hostage in the den. He had beaten you up. You told me to run. He threatened to kill you if I ran, so I stayed. Then he shot you in the neck with an arrow, and that’s when I woke up.” Felicity felt the tears on her cheeks.

She felt Oliver’s fingers running through her hair. “I’m not going to let that happen.”

“We don’t know what’s going to happen, Oliver.” Felicity said, leaning back against the headboard. “I guess just a week of looking at nothing but connections to him flared up my past worries.”

Felicity saw the pain in Oliver’s eyes. He still carried guilt for what happened no matter how many times Felicity told him she wasn’t mad at him anymore. “Maybe a day off today would help?” 

“Does that mean you, too?” Felicity asked, surprised he mentioned it.

“Sure. No hood today.” Oliver smirked, “Still need to do some training thought.”

Felicity could agree to those terms. Oliver and Diggle had been showing her some hand to hand stuff this week – throws mainly. She had learned the basics at the cabin, but Oliver didn’t want to do too much without mats to cushion falls. Felicity argued that she was not as klutzy as he made her out to be, but Oliver won the argument when she tripped over a tree branch two seconds later. She nodded her agreement, “Now, why are you awake and what time is it?”

“I slept about four hours and couldn’t get back to sleep after I woke up. It’s almost five in the morning.” Oliver answered.

Felicity kissed Oliver on the cheek as she slid out of bed. “I’m not going to try to get back to sleep right now.” She grabbed her tablet from Oliver’s desk and went to curl up in one of the blue chairs across from the television. Felicity clicked on the tv and changed it to the morning news. “Might as well see if last night’s adventures made the headlines.”

“Ken Shane was definitely arrested after I was done,” Oliver said, sitting down in the other chair. Oliver had the idea to go back through his dad’s book to see if any names matched Felicity’s research on current crimes. Shane was one of the lucky matches. Oliver busted up his drug ring last night.

The newscaster came on leading with the story about Shane. The story lead into one about the Hood’s return. Felicity watched Oliver out of the corner of her eye. 

“After not being seen since the night of the earthquake that devastated the Glades, the Hood seems to be back in action this past week. Where has he been these past months as crime returned full force to Starling City? I do hope that the Hood is back to stay. Starling City has missed him. We need a hero like him after everything that’s happened. Starl..” Oliver turned off the television. Felicity kept her face down at her tablet. 

“Just say it,” Oliver said with a sharp tone. 

_Please don’t let this backfire_ , Felicity thought.

________________

Oliver closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. He braced himself for whatever Felicity was about to say. They had tip toed this discussion forever it seemed. He knew she saw him as a hero, and that she had that view of him since before the night of the Undertaking. No matter how many times Oliver played the scenarios out in his head, he couldn’t see it. 

Felicity sat her tablet down on the small end table in between the chairs and looked at Oliver. She was tired, and Oliver had learned that what little filter she had on her words faded completely with lack of sleep. 

“You are a hero,” Felicity said simply. 

Oliver winced being called that, even by her. “No, I’m not.” 

“Tell me why you honestly think you aren’t, Oliver.” Felicity’s blue eyes got so cold when she was angry. _Why are you mad at me?_

“Because I’ve killed people, Felicity. Heroes don’t kill people.” Oliver got up from the chair and walked over to his desk.

“Don’t walk away. If we are finally going to address this conversation, then finish it.” Felicity snapped.

Oliver sat in the chair at his desk. So many emotions and feelings and words ran through his head. He wanted to yell at her. _I know you’ll listen to it. Listen to me. Even if you’re mad, you’ll listen._ “I don’t know how to be the Hood without the list. I spent five years thinking and plotting. It’s the reason I came back home. Now that the Undertaking has happened, the list is useless. The wrong my father wanted me to right is over.” 

“You came back from that island for Laurel as well, Oliver. Don’t lie to yourself on that. And the burden your father placed on your shoulders,” She was standing in front of his desk now, holding her tablet, “Was wrong. It wasn’t your responsibility to shoulder his wrongs and the wrongs of people on the list. I am not saying the cause was wrong, but to place it on his son in a situation like that – was. You have done a lot for Starling City outside of checking names off that list.” Felicity’s fingers touched her tablet that she just picked back up. She put it down in front of Oliver. “Just read this, Oliver, but first, answer me one question.”

“What?” Oliver clenched his jaw as he spoke.

“Of the people that you’ve killed, have you intentionally set out to kill any of them? Or were they to save a life – Like with Shado? Or in self-defense? Or an accident – like the mercenary on the island? Or only after you gave them a chance to right their wrongs and they attacked you? Tell me honestly, Oliver.” Felicity had called him on it, and he couldn’t reply. “That’s what I thought.” Before she left the room, she turned back to Oliver, “If the list was the only thing keeping you in Starling City, why did you come back this time? Maybe I should have left you on that mountain.” Felicity slammed the door as she walked out.

Oliver grumbled in frustration. He looked down at Felicity’s tablet. The file she had pulled up was titled _Hero_ , and it was a list compiling all the times Oliver had helped Starling City that weren’t related to the list. Statistics showing that crime was down when the threat of him coming after any bad guys was around. As well as statistics showing crime rising when he was gone. There were more times on the list than he remembered. _Could I honestly be able to be a hero? I never wanted to be a hero. I never thought what would happen after the list. I never thought about the impact the hood would have._

Oliver sat her tablet on his desk. He went to go find her. With sun rise soon, he knew where she’d be hiding.

________________

“You know you are predictable,” Oliver said as he walked up on Felicity sitting in a window seat that faced to the East. She’d found it one of the first nights they stayed up all night talking while wondering around the house. It always seemed to be a favorite spot of her’s.

Oliver sat down on the other side and faced her. He still wore pj pants and a t-shirt. She looked over at him, the exhaustion vivid in her eyes. “I’m sorry for being so harsh. I don’t think when I’m tired. I just wish I could get your stubborn head to see what I see in you.”

“I wish I could, too.” Oliver admitted. “I want to try.” His eyes kept drifting to the barely buttoned shirt of his that she wore. He made it seem like it bothered him for her to wear it, but he loved seeing her in it.

“Did you read the file?” Her voice was still flat.

“Yes, and there are more times on there than I remember.” 

“Oliver, if you weren’t sure about being the Hood anymore or life after the list, why did you come back home with me?” She asked, her voice cracking slightly.

“Because of you and what you see in me.” 

“I haven’t given up on you, yet.” She said with a slight smirk.

“That fact amazes me daily, ya know?” Oliver chuckled.

“I know.” Felicity said, looking back out at the sun rise. “I love sunrise and sunset. It’s like magic. Ending and beginning. Beginning and ending.” 

“Can we make a rule?” Oliver bit his lip to keep a straight face.

“Sure.” Felicity looked confused.

“No more getting mad at me before you’ve had at least one cup of something with caffeine in it.” 

“Deal.” Felicity smiled.

______________

In the maximum security wing of Ironheights Prison, Moira Queen sat in solitary confinement. It was for her own safety, since the majority of the prison population knew someone that died in the Glades quake. Her head had a price on it that anyone would be willing to attempt to collect. At morning mail call, the slit in Moira’s jail cell open. “You finally have something,” the guard said as a letter dropped to the floor. Moira hoped for one of her children to have finally sent something since she hadn’t heard from either of them since the morning of the quake. Moira opened the letter.

_We’ll talk soon, Moira._

_~M_

“I thought you were dead…” Moira dropped the letter to the ground.


	21. Normal Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver deal with life as a couple. Thea and Laurel both make appearances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot of happy fluffy moments. Thea and Laurel also return. I've found I really love writing scenes with Thea and Felicity. I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading.

Oliver and Felicity arrived at Verdant late that morning. They had texted Diggle about the plans for a day off, and Diggle said he’d see them tomorrow. “So, what are you teaching me today, Obi One?” Felicity asked as they walked into the foundry.

She had a pair of yoga pants on, and she still wore Oliver’s button up shirt. _I’m never getting that thing back_ , he thought. “Eskrima sticks.”

Felicity let out a little groan. “Remind me why?”

“They help you get a feel for how hand to hand combat can flow.” Oliver said as he picked up two pairs of bamboo sticks. “Not to mention, with your smaller stature, you could be rather difficult to fight.”

“Really?” Felicity seemed surprised.

“Absolutely. Shado was about your size and could take Slade or I down without a second thought. It’s all about using what you have to your best ability.” 

Felicity started to unbutton the shirt she had on. Underneath, a purple sports bra peaked out, which surprised Oliver. “You’re staring, Oliver.” Felicity reminded him with a giggle.

“Sorry,” he blushed. “Just still amazed at everything.”

“Me, too.” She smiled at her. Felicity had put her contacts on in the car on the way over, so Oliver could see her eyes even better than usual. “Ready to kick my ass?”

_Among other things_ , Oliver thought. “Let’s get started.”

Oliver spent the next hour showing her different moves. He let her control the pace of the lesson. Felicity kept biting her lip when she got frustrated at herself, but she tried to not let it show. Near the end of the hour, Felicity let out a scream of frustration finally. 

“What’s wrong?” Oliver tried to not laugh. She was rather adorable when she got this frustrated.

“I want to get this right. It’s not as mathematical as the bow. It comes so easily to you and John.” Felicity took a drink of her water.

“He and I have had years of practice. You’ve only really had a few months. It takes time.” Oliver tried to ease her frustration.

“I just don’t want to always be the weakness of the bunch.” Felicity sighed. “Let’s go again, and don’t let me win. Okay?” 

Oliver nodded and smiled. _You don’t even give up on yourself_ ,he thought, as they began again. After a few failed attempts, Felicity’s frustration boiled back to the surface. “Remember – use what you have against your opponent. You are shorter and smaller than I am. You understand physics. Centers of gravity. Use your head, Felicity.” Oliver reminded her. He knew she would have to figure it out on her own for her ever to feel accomplished with the skill. The two of them were exactly alike when it came to that.

Her blue eyes flashed annoyance at his reminder and then sparkled in realization. Oliver began a new onslaught of eskrima stick movements. Felicity blocked them, the dropped to her knees, spun around, nailing Oliver’s Achilles’ tendon. She caught him off guard by the move, and he winced, “Ow.” Then he smiled at her. “Good move.”

“Thanks for the reminder.” She grinned as he helped her up. “I want you to teach me one throw.”

Felicity’s confidence in her abilities always spiked after she figured out something new. Oliver always imagined her learning code and computer stuff growing up, then bouncing around her room every time something worked correctly. “You sure?” She eagerly nodded. “Come here, then.” Oliver pulled her against him. Her barely clothed torso against his shirtless one has his mind wonder for a second. He shook his head to refocus. “One of the main things to remember about throws is leverage.” Felicity nodded. “Now, before you hit me, I’m going to let you throw me the first couple of times without resisting. This is so you can perfect the moves safely.” She wrinkled her mouth up, but he could tell she understood. “Now, put your right leg right behind my legs.” She did what he said. “Put your arm here,” he said as he wrapped her right arm around his torso. “Now, I want you to sweep my leg, and as you do, push my upper body down. Got it?”

“I think.” Felicity looked up and down at this position Oliver had placed her in. “Ready?” Oliver loved the playful look that question brought out. He just nodded, because his mind wanted to say things other than stuff related to judo throws. Felicity did just like Oliver told her. She lost her balance though and fell on top of him.

Oliver chuckled, “Good job. Now we just have to work on your balance.” Felicity propped herself up with her arms. She smiled when Oliver wrapped his arms around her.

“Now, if I didn’t know you better, I’d say you planned this.”

“Never,” He flashed the playboy grin as he rolled them over on the mat. Oliver leaned down and kissed her. He started to get up, when she pulled him down. Oliver tilted his head to the side slightly and smiled.

“I didn’t say stop,” Felicity smirked as she raised herself up to kissing again. “It’s our day off, isn’t it?” Oliver nodded. “Then let’s enjoy it.” 

Felicity didn’t have to say anything else as Oliver pinned her to the mat, kissing her deeply.

______________

The following weekend Felicity paced back and forth in her room at Oliver’s house. When her laptop beeped at her, she quickly pressed a button and Thea’s image popped up on the screen.

“What’s with the emergency text? It’s like ten at night here in London. Everything okay?” Thea asked quickly.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” Felicity sits down at the desk. “Oliver is throwing a fundraiser at the club tonight. It’s like our first major public appearance as a couple.” Felicity leaves out the part out it being the first time she’ll be on the upper level of the club during business hours.

Thea grins, “You’re nervous.”

“No shit, Thea.” Felicity snaps and sighs. “I’m not exactly your brother’s usual type. I mean, we’ve had cameras catch us out to eat, but this will be a huge gala type thing to raise money for the Glades. He is determined to put a good face to the Queen name again.” _And draw out Malcolm, but you don’t need to know that part._

“You will be fine. Oliver’s done four billion of these types of events. Just stick by him, grab a glass of wine or champagne, sip away, and smile.” Thea speaks like a professional.

“I’m just worried I’m going to embarrass him.” Felicity admits.

“Blondie, this is my brother we’re talking about. Trust me, you can’t do worse than his top 10 most embarrassing moments caught on film then plastered online.” 

Felicity can’t disagree there. Playboy Oliver was just a teeny bit wild and not caring. “I’m also wearing the most expensive dress I’ve ever owned.”

Thea smiled, “He took you shopping, didn’t he? Get up, let me see!”

Felicity stood up. The dress was a beautiful royal purple. She argued that she had plenty of dresses that could work, but Oliver wanted to treat her to a special dress for their first big event together. Felicity fell in love with the dress the moment she saw it and tried it on. “I keep wanting to spin in it.” She says with a giggle.

“Then spin, girl!” Thea laughs. “But I don’t advise spinning in heels unless Oliver’s there to catch you when you fall.” Thea takes a moment and examines the dress over the skype connection. It has a flowy skirt that stops mid-thigh. “Ollie has good taste.”

Felicity gets the impression that statement has a double meaning, and she can’t hide the smile. “What kind of jewelry do a wear?”

“Hrmm. Do you plan on putting your hair up or leaving it down?”

“No clue. What do I do?” Felicity couldn’t help but laugh at her nerves.

“Blondie, breathe.” Thea chuckled. “Here is what you’ll do. If you don’t have a curling iron there, since it looks like you’ve moved into my house,” Thea grins, “go to my room. There is a spare in my bathroom. Loosely curl your hair to pull out your natural curls. I have some decorative hair pins in there that you can borrow as well. I’d pair that all with some smaller earrings since your hair will be down, and then a dangly choker to go with that nice neckline and cleavage that dress has.” The Cheshire cat grin was genetic Felicity decided seeing the look on Thea’s face. 

“Thank you so much, Thea.” Felicity said. “And I’m only here until it’s safe.”

“Uh huh.” Thea deadpanned. “Have fun tonight and email me how it goes, okay?”

“I will.” Felicity closed the laptop. She darted off to Thea’s room before Oliver got out of the shower and came looking for her. 

_______________

Oliver and Felicity arrived at Verdant around eight that evening. Most of the guests for the fundraiser were already there. “I think this is the first time I’ve been through the front door,” Felicity whispered in Oliver’s ear.

He couldn’t hide his grin. Felicity had his hand in a death grip as they walked into the crowd. “You okay?” Oliver had overheard some of her conversation with Thea earlier as he walked by her room. He wanted to ease her worries somehow.

Felicity pulled him under the stairs dear the DJ area before they were noticed. “Crowds make me nervous. Plus I’ve never been to an event like this.” Oliver gives her the look, “Okay, so this makes the second time. I’d like to skip the bomb necklace this time around.” 

Before she starts rambling, Oliver gently kisses her. “You will be perfect. If the crowds get to be too much, escape upstairs.”

“But my computers…” Felicity pleads.

“I need you tonight, too,” Oliver admits. This was the first major public event for him since his mother’s press conference. “We’ll be each other’s back up?”

“Always.” Felicity smiled. “Can I show you something real quick?” Oliver nodded, and Felicity spun around in her dress. “I love this dress. Thank you again.”

Oliver’s face was etched with what Felicity always called his real smile. “I’m glad. You look beautiful.” He grabbed her hand back, “Ready?” Felicity faked a large sigh, laughed and said yes.

________________

Felicity stood to the side of the stage set up in the DJ area. Oliver looked over and smiled before stepping up to the microphone. Felicity noticed when he flipped the switch and turned on his smooth talking side. He could definitely command everyone’s attention in the room. Felicity grabbed one of the waitresses and ordered Oliver a scotch for when he got off the stage. She was sipping on some mixture of iced tea, lemonade and vodka that Oliver swore would help her nerves. _At least I can’t taste the alcohol_ , she thought. 

“Thank you for coming out tonight,” Oliver started off his speech. “I wanted to do something to help rebuild the Glades. Words cannot express the sadness that I feel for my mother’s part in what happen. I can only hope to help in any way I can. This is only the first event of this nature that I have planned.” Oliver paused briefly and then continued, “I dedicate tonight’s event to my friend, Tommy Merlyn. He died in the Glades saving the life of someone very dear to him.” Felicity watched Oliver close his eyes for a split second to recompose himself. “So please, enjoy tonight and thank you for coming out to donate.” 

Oliver waved and walked off stage towards Felicity. She handed him the scotch, “Figured you’d need this.” 

“I do,” he replied as he sipped it. “How is your drink?”

“Good for making me think you are trying to get me drunk,” she stuck out her tongue.

“Possibly, but I just wanted to help your nerves some.” Felicity could tell he was being honest. 

“You okay?” She asked, touching his hand as the scotch glass came back down from his mouth.

“Just talking about that in front of people.” He searched for the words, “Sometimes it’s not as easy to shut off the emotions as it looks.”

Felicity nodded, “What’s next on this grand adventure of breaking me out of my shell?” She figured Oliver wouldn’t mind the distraction.

“Time to mingle.” Oliver grabbed her hand, as they walked towards the crowd.

_________________

“Ollie,” a voice said from behind Felicity and Oliver as they sat at the bar. Oliver squeezed his eyes shut, and then turned around.

“Laurel,” he said plainly, “Thank you for coming.”

“I’m going to let you two talk,” Felicity said, getting up. “Nice to see you again, Laurel.”

Oliver looked at her and understood. Alcohol and nerves made her more babbly than normally. Plus, this was beyond awkward. “I’ll find you later, okies.” She nodded at him as she squeezed his fingers before walking away.

“You two have gotten closer since the last time I saw her.” Laurel said. Oliver winced when he remembered that was Tommy’s funeral.

“We have.” Oliver bit the inside of his lip. “How have you been?”

“Trying to keep busy.” Laurel sat down next to him at the bar. “Lots of people in the Glades need help after what happened.”

“If there is anyone that can help them,” Oliver looks at her, “It’s you, Laurel.” 

“Where have you been, Oliver?” Laurel asked. “You dropped off the radar after Tommy’s funeral, and just popped back up like nothing happened almost four months later.”

Oliver swished the scotch around in his glass going over how to say what he wanted. “The night of Tommy’s funeral, his dad kidnapped Felicity and I.” Laurel’s surprise caught Oliver off guard, “You didn’t know?”

“No, the only thing that made the news was that Felicity was attacked. No mention of you. My dad said that he saw you at the hospital though…”Laurel’s voice trailed off.

“Malcolm shot Felicity. I thought she died, and I lost it. I ran.” Oliver took a swig of his drink. “Malcolm wants to cause me pain for what happened to Tommy. I thought if I wasn’t here Felicity, Thea, and you would be safe.”

Oliver could see Laurel trying to process everything. “Why did you come back?”

“Tired of not living my life.” Oliver turned around and caught a glimpse of Felicity talking to Diggle across the room.

“You like her, don’t you?” Laurel was never one to pull punches.

“Yes, I do.” Oliver closed his eyes. “She snuck up on me. I’m trying my best to do everything right, and not repeat wrongs I’ve done in the past.” 

“Now, Ollie, you are almost starting to sound mature.” Laurel teased. “Are you happy, Ollie?”

“Yes. I am.” He looked back at her, “Are you?”

“Getting there,” Laurel smiled. “Friends, Ollie?”

“Always, Laurel.” Oliver smiled. “Part of me will always love you, but I can only be your friend. Especially after everything.”

“Same here, Ollie.” Laurel put her hand on his shoulder, “And I’m okay with that.”

“Good,” Oliver sighed in relief. 

__________________

Felicity spun around in the middle of the dance floor of Verdant. Everyone had gone home, and Oliver was closing up. She felt his hands on the small of her back as he came up to hug her. “May I have this dance?” He had taken off his gunmetal grey suit coat and loosened his tie. Her Oliver was back and not the public playboy.

“You may.” Felicity smiled. “You okay? We haven’t gotten to talk much after you talked to Laurel.”

“That went surprisingly better than I planned.” Oliver sounded relieved. “We’re going to work on being friends, though part of me will always love her.”

“With your history, that only makes sense.” Felicity added, “Does she know about us?”

Oliver spun Felicity around to the beat of the music. “She figured it out, and she’s glad I’m happy.”

Felicity just smiled. “You know we are both too drunk to drive home.”

“Yup!” Oliver’s voice was playful. “Which couch are we taking?” There was one in his office upstairs and then the one in the foundry.

“Downstairs.” Felicity replied. “It’s where we first slept together.” Her cheeks flushed. “I mean just sleep. The other was at the cabin. And well, we have done that down there…” She leaned her head into Oliver’s chest as he chuckled. “I’m shutting up now.”

“I love you,” he said between chuckles as he kissed the top of her head.

“You, too.” Felicity grumbled, “It’s not nice to laugh at the woman you love.”

“You just make me very happy. It’s nice to really laugh and enjoy reality and being normal for once.”

“Oliver, normal is boring, and we are far from being normal.” Felicity looked at him, “Not that I would change a bit of it.”

“Me neither,” Oliver picked her up and spun her around.


	22. Poison and Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moira gets another letter, and Felicity preps to return to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that called the last chapter as the calm before the storm, you are right. This chapter is the day after the fundraiser at Verdant. I hope you enjoy it. I'm considering putting together a playlist for songs that I've listened to while writing this. The next update might be a little bit, depends on how quick my brain gets it out of my head. Thanks for the reads and reviews! =)

Moira paced around her cell. She had been in this cell her entire time here. First because of suicide watch and then because of death threats. She hadn’t seen her children since she had been arrested. When she last saw Oliver, he was talking about going to stop Merlyn. That conversation had haunted her for these past few months. Bits of news had made their way to her thanks to her lawyers – Malcolm was missing, presumed dead, Oliver hadn’t been seen for months, and Thea was with Walter. Malcolm was the only one that had contacted her. 

She did what she did to protect her children, and now they weren’t speaking to her. Moira let out a scream in frustration as the slit in the door opened, and another letter dropped to the floor. Moira walked over and picked it up. As she read it, she felt sick to her stomach. Gaps of knowledge in her memory filled in with the words she read. With a deep sigh, Moira called for the guard.

“Yes?” He asked through the door.

“I need to call my son.” Moira said.

“I’ll see what I can do.” The guard said as he walked away.

“At least you’ll be alive,” Moira said to the four walls that were her only company again.

_______________

Diggle walked into the foundry early the next morning. Carly had left to go out of town to visit family for the next two weeks. Diggle wanted to check in and see how the party went after they left. The sight Diggle found made him smile – Felicity curled up on the couch with her head in Oliver’s lap. She was still sleeping, but Oliver was awake, lightly playing with her hair. Oliver made a motion for Diggle to stay quiet as he eased up from being Felicity’s pillow.

“Long night?” Diggle asked as Oliver joined him on the opposite side of the room.

Oliver gave a slight chuckle and looked around the room for a moment, then back at Felicity, “We were both too drunk to drive last night.”

“See, I told you, the girl’s a good influence. Playboy you would have drove.” Diggle teases. Oliver replied by punching him in the arm and laughing. “Seriously though, she’s good for you.”

Oliver smiles, “I know.” He slips out of his suit jacket. “Last night went well. Felicity didn’t hide away down here, and Laurel even talked to me.” Oliver seemed shocked by the last part.

“And just how did that go?” 

“Well. I think.” Oliver grins. “Why are you here so early?”

Dig laughs. “It’s not early. Its noon, and Carly’s out of town for two weeks. Figured I’d check in on how the search for Malcolm’s going.”

“Didn’t realize we slept that late,” Oliver laughed, “And last night had to have popped up on Malcolm’s radar. I dedicated it to Tommy.”

“Nice, I missed your speech. You okay?”

“Yeah. Felicity had a scotch waiting for me when I got off stage.” Oliver looked back over at her still sleeping. “I overheard her talking to Thea before we left. She was talking about how nervous she was, and how she isn’t my usual type.”

Diggle hides a grin. He has grown used to Oliver sometimes just talking things out when he can’t pin point a fix. “I think the best thing about Felicity and you being together is the fact that she isn’t your usual type.”

“Up for some working out in a little bit? I want to do something first for Felicity.” Oliver said.

“Sure man.” Diggle liked this calmer Oliver. “I’m going to see if Felicity’s searches have any new leads on Deadshot.”

The men parted ways. Oliver grabbed his carving knife from his work bench and went to get Felicity’s bow.

________________

Felicity looked above her head. Oliver was hanging like a monkey again from the pipes. Not that Felicity was complaining about the view of her shirtless boyfriend. _Yeah, still getting used to the sound of ‘Oliver Queen is my boyfriend’_ , she chuckled to herself. She had woke up to Oliver and John working out. Thankfully she was only nursing a minor headache. Oliver, who had spent every bit of his college years in a constant hang over, hadn’t passed up teasing her a little. Felicity had a few changes of clothes in the storage room, so she was able to change out of her really pretty dress. Oliver rolled his eyes at her when she came out wearing skinny jeans, a bright purple top, and his button up shirt.

“Thea would fuss at you for the fashion violation.” He teased, even though he liked her in his shirt.

“She would understand that I have a headache and stealing at least one item of your boyfriend’s wardrobe is required.” Felicity stuck out her tongue at him as she sat down to work. That’s when Oliver had climbed up to do pull ups or chin ups or something really difficult looking above her head. 

Diggle had left to go pick up lunch for the three of them. Felicity turned back to her work but jumped when Oliver startled her by hopping down behind her. He chuckled. “Hey, come here. I want to show you something.”

Felicity followed him to the case she stored her bow in. “Please tell me you didn’t do something to my bow…”

“Just listen before you kill me?” Oliver pleaded with a smile. “You remember how my old bow had carvings on the grip?” Felicity nodded. “Each of those had a meaning, and I wanted to give you one for your bow.” Oliver picked it up and showed her a small engraving on the side where her fingers would cover. It was two Chinese characters.

“What do they mean?” Felicity ran her fingers over the small detailed work. 

“Shengcún. In English, it means to survive, to live.” Oliver explained. “You taught me how to live again, and you’ve taught yourself how to survive. You’ve fought hard for what you’ve had, and never let anything get you down.”

Felicity was speechless. All she could manage was, “I love it. Thank you.” 

________________

Later that evening, Oliver and Diggle were out handling a dealer trying to sell some leftover Vertigo. Felicity stayed in the foundry to monitor the police frequencies. Most of her night was spent spinning around in her chair in between start searching for information about Malcolm’s business partners and other names on the list. Her spinning was stopped when Oliver’s cell phone started ringing. “It’s my mother?” Oliver said, slightly confused from the other end of the comms. He and Dig were already on their way back.

“Are you going to answer?” Felicity asked.

“Might as well,” Dig said. 

Felicity heard Oliver sigh in her ear as he answered. “Mom,” was all he said when he answered the call. “You want to see me to talk? I’m not sure. Maybe. Monday? I don’t know.” Then Oliver went quiet.

“Oliver?” She asked, worried about him.

“Not now.” He said coldly. Oliver was quiet the rest of the drive back to the foundry. When he and Diggle arrived about five minutes later, Oliver sat down in the computer chair next to Felicity.

“What did she want?” Felicity asked, looking up at Diggle and then Oliver.

“She wants to meet with me to talk about what happened and what she did. Apparently she wants me to hear it from her before the trial starts next week.” Oliver was looking off into nothing.

“I’m not the best advice on parental relationships with two dead ones, but is there any harm in hearing her out? Maybe she might have something that could help us on Malcolm?” Felicity offered.

“Maybe,” Oliver conceded. “I just wonder why she hasn’t tried contacting Thea or I since that night, but she picks now.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” John added.

“Well, if it’s Monday, I have to go back to work, so you could go while I’m stuck unburying my desk from a month off.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders. Oliver gave her this look of panic mixed with protection, “I have to go back to work. I doubt Malcolm is going to kidnap me in the middle of Queen Consolidated, Oliver.”

Oliver couldn’t argue with that. “How about I’ll drive you to work and pick you up?”

Felicity rolled her eyes and smirked, “Fine, but if I get picked on, I’m kicking your arse.”

“Who would pick on you?”

“The little ole IT girl is now publicly dating the guy who has his name on the building. The same guy that would rope said IT girl into side adventures with horrible lies.” Felicity smirked.

“I’ll keep an eye on her,” Dig offered, and Felicity glared at him. “Felicity, you are one of Malcolm’s chess pieces when it comes to getting to Oliver. I don’t want anything to happen to you, either.”

“And anyone that picks on you, I could have them fired.” Oliver added with a smirk.

“Why fire them, when I could hack them?” Felicity snickered.

“I’m starting to think I’m a bad influence on you,” Oliver said.

“You aren’t. You just bring out her already devious side,” Dig answered before Felicity could say anything, and they all laughed.

________________

Oliver and Felicity sat on couch in his room sipping on red wine after they got home. It was almost midnight by then. “You’re worried,” she said, breaking the silence.

“I used to trust my mother completely. Diggle had his suspicions before I did. The night I got shot, she begged me to not shoot her for the sake of me and Thea. I still wanted to believe she had some good in her. Then the night with Walter and working with Malcolm.” Oliver took a big gulp of the red wine. “I’m just worried there is something else we don’t know about.”

“Me, too.” Felicity said, curling up to him. She put her head on his chest and sat her wine glass down on the table in front of them. Oliver wrapped his arms around her back. She giggled slightly when his fingers hit her side.

“Ticklish?” He asked, even though he knew the answer. Felicity didn’t answer, so Oliver tickled her again. She fought laughing but eventually lost. 

“Meanie.”

“You love me.”

“You know your sister thinks I’ve permanently moved in,” Felicity said suddenly.

“She what?” Oliver half choked on his wine.

“Well the last few times I’ve skyped with her, she’s spotted I was here. One of them being your bed.” Felicity raised her eyebrows. “Plus the time here before you left, and then I did spent a lot of nights here after you left.”

Oliver played with Felicity’s pony tail. “Why?”

“To look after Thea. To, I, uh…I just missed you.” Felicity wrapped her arms around Oliver. The hand of his in her pony tail went to rub her neck, then down in between her shoulder blades.

“Can I be honest about something?” Oliver felt his heartbeat increase.

“You know you can,” Felicity said. He knew she had to hear his heartbeat with how she was laying.

“The night before I left on the Queen’s Gambit, I agreed to move in with Laurel. The thought petrified me, but I agreed to it then because I thought I had to.” Oliver knew his voice sounded unsure and nervous. “I don’t feel scared when it comes to you. So I don’t mind you staying here, even after Malcolm’s dealt with. I honestly don’t know what’s normal in a relationship, Felicity.” Oliver felt himself blushing.

“And I think we’ve long established we are far from normal. Let’s go with what works and feels right.” Felicity kissed his t-shirt covered chest and then looked up at him, “And this feels right.”

Oliver breathed a sigh of relief. “It does.” 

__________________

Moira Queen called for her guard. “Do you know how to contact who has been sending me letters?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” the male voice came back from the other side.

“Tell them he should be here Monday.” Her voice trailed off.

“I will. Our mutual friend thanks you for your cooperation again.” The voice said, “Though, he is not very happy with what you did. This will help towards correcting that miss step of yours.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Moira sighed. “Monday.”


	23. Strong Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday's suck. Oliver is faced with an impossible choice as Malcolm's plan comes to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title (And complete fic title) come from the song, Strong Enough by Apocalyptica. Originally in my head, this song was only an Oliver song. It's turned into one for Felicity, which you'll see in the next chapter, and some in this chapter. I hope you enjoy this, and I will update soon.

Felicity stepped off the elevator and walked towards her office. The stares were obvious. Oliver’s words to stay calm and that he loved her echoed in her head. As Felicity walked through the frosted glass door to her office, she sat down and signed to herself. The darkened room was quiet except for the white noise of the server behind her. She was waiting to see who would be the first person to directly ask her about Oliver Queen. Ten minutes later, Josie, a gossip loving brunette from down the hall poked her head in.

“Soooo…where ya been?” She asked with a devilish grin.

“Business trip for Mr. Steele. I was checking on the computer systems at offices across the country.” Felicity said, not bothering to look up from her computer.

“Not this last week,” Josie reminded her, fiddling with her multicolored clunky necklace.

“I got back early, and Mr. Steele said that I could take the rest of the time off to relax.” Felicity kept typing. _Not really a lie either, Walter was happy Oliver was safe._

“And you just happened to start dating Oliver Queen, who hasn’t been seen for months?” Josie gave up dancing around the subject.

“I’ve known Oliver for months.” Felicity glared at the Nosie Josie. She felt herself chuckle at the impromptu nickname her head made up. “We became friends, and yes, things progressed recently. Not that the details are anyone’s business.”

“But aren’t you worried he’ll cheat or something? The man doesn’t have the best track record with women.” 

Felicity felt herself getting more and more frustrated, “I trust Oliver. And some people can change and leave their bad habits behind. Like highschool-ish gossip.” The last part came out harsher than Felicity planned, but Josie got the point and excused herself.

Alone again, Felicity leaned back against her chair. _I guess this will be life until the novelty of this wears off with people. I hate how people don’t know or want to believe Oliver is different._ Her cell phone buzzing stopped her internal rambling. She tapped the screen. A text from Oliver, “Started a list of who to hack yet?”

“Maybe *innocent look*” She texted back.

“Behave. Heading to see my Mom. I’ll see you tonight. Love you.” 

“You behave, too. Good luck and Love you.” Felicity sat her cell phone back on her desk. Oliver was nervous about today. She was too, but she was doing her best to hide it from him. Diggle was sticking close to her today just in case. Felicity looked at the clock on her computer. “9 a.m., only eight more hours to go until I get off.” 

_________________

 

Oliver arrived at Ironheights Prison and was waiting in a private meeting room by half past ten. He had to leave his cell phone with the front desk. Oliver did his best to sit still in the chair. _This is not how I wanted to spend my Monday_ , he thought. Felicity was right though, his Mom could know something. Oliver had a sinking feeling in his gut that he hadn’t learned the last of his mother’s secrets. The sound of the door opening jolted Oliver back to focusing on now. 

His mother was wearing a bright orange jump suit. She was handcuffed and shackled. Her hair was nothing like Moira Queen standards. If Oliver had to guess, she hadn’t slept well in months. The guard took the shackles off, and then left the room. “Hello, Oliver.” Moira said as she sat down across from him.

“What did you want to talk about?” Oliver’s own voice startled him. It was rough and scruffy like when he has the hood on. He clenched his fist under the table to help keep his frustration under control.

“I’m sorry for what I did.” 

Oliver mouthed, _really?_ “Please tell me there is more than that.” 

“All I wanted to do was to make sure you and Thea were safe.” Moira said, her green eyes showing the exhaustion.

“You’ve told me this before, Mom.” Oliver snapped. “Thea and I are now dealing with the fall out of the choices you and Dad made. The company is struggling. We had to send Thea away to keep her safe.”

“What?” Moira asked, looking shocked.

“Yes, Mom. Malcolm attacked me and my friend, Felicity. You remember her, right? After he almost killed Felicity, I didn’t want Thea anywhere near here.” _Not the entire truth, but sorry, I don’t trust you that much anymore._

“Is Thea okay?”

“Yes.” Oliver said flatly. “Why am I here, Mom?” Oliver’s nerves were starting to flare as this meeting drug out.

“Why haven’t you or Thea contacted me?” Moira asked.

Oliver glared, “Thea tried at first, but your lawyers wouldn’t allow it. I have been out of town.” With a slight growl, “Do you know anything about Malcolm being back?”

“Yes.” Moira looked directly at her son.

“Tell me.” 

“Why? So you can have a pointed conversation with him?” She exaggerated the pointed. _Did he tell you?_

“I’m more concerned at making sure he doesn’t harm Felicity, again, or Thea.” 

“I think you’ve put them both in enough harm already, Oliver.” Moira was being amazingly calm. “Everything I’ve ever done has been to protect you and Thea.”

Oliver started to shake his head, “What have you done now…?”

“Made sure you and your sister are safe.”

“At what cost?” Oliver snapped, standing up. “We already have the blood of half the Glades on our hands. I’m starting to think Thea was right about you when she said you met with Malcolm before Dad and I went missing. I can’t help but wonder if you knew what you were putting us on when you said goodbye at the marina.” _Felicity….Diggle…_ “What have you done now, Mom?”

Moira was trying to keep her composure. “Kept you and your sister safe,” she repeated.

“Please tell me you didn’t do what I think you did…” Oliver turned his back on his mom. “I keep underestimating the depths of just how low you will go in the name of _family_.” Oliver knew his anger was showing. His voice was low, and eerily calm. “How many lives did you trade this time?”

“Malcolm wanted just one.”

“Felicity…”Oliver whispered. 

“Yes, Oliver. Your _friend_.” The emphasis on the friend made Oliver wanted to slap Moira.

“Because he wants to make me suffer by killing the woman I love.” Oliver turned around and looked her straight in the face. “If I make it out of this alive, you are dead to me, Moira. And if Felicity dies, so will you.”

“Hard to shoot an arrow through concrete.” She looked up at Oliver, who was standing above her.

“I see you and Malcolm have had a chat. You should know he shoots black arrows.” The surprise that flashed on Moira’s face showed that she didn’t know that. Oliver went to the door, “Guard, get me out of here,” he yelled.

Moira tried to get her son to stay, but he ignored her completely. _I have to get out of here._ When the guard opened the door, Oliver broke into a run. He slammed into the gate between him and his cell phone. “Open this, now!”

“Chill man,” the guard at the front gate said as he opened it. 

Oliver snatched his cell phone from the bin and continued his run outside. He quickly dialed Felicity’s number. “Answer please, Felicity. Please.” _Nothing. Voice Mail._ “Felicity, the second you get this, go to the Verdant and stay there. Call me asap!” Oliver left on voicemail. He tried Diggle next. _Nothing. Shit._

He hopped on his motorcycle and put his helmet on. Oliver noticed his hands were shaking as he went to grip the handles. _Calm down. She needs you calm. You ignorant bastard. You walked into Malcolm’s trap, and Felicity is the price._ Oliver sped all the way to Queen Consolidated.

___________________

As Oliver walked through the offices of Queen Consolidated, he ignored questions on everything from where has he been, to things about his mother, to what was the deal with dating Felicity. He understood what Felicity had meant by making a list. _I could make one of people for her to hack, or me to fire, or both. Definitely both. Pissed off enough for both._ Focusing on the anger was keeping Oliver together for now. That and adrenaline.

Felicity’s office door was closed. Oliver squeezed the door handle tightly to try to make his hand stop shaking. He opened the door to see her desk trashed. “Felicity?” He called out, and heard the crack in his voice. _No, you can’t do this right now. Focus._

Oliver heard a rustling from behind the server stack. _Diggle._ Oliver was thankful for finding one friend alive, but he knew Diggle wasn’t the target of this. John was gagged and tied up. Oliver freed him. “What happened?”

“She was shutting things down for us to leave for lunch. As I opened the door, a guy barged in, drugged me instantly. When I woke up she was gone. I didn’t get a good look. I’m sorry, Oliver.” John said, looking defeated. “Is this Malcolm’s work?”

“And my mother’s.” Oliver sneered. “Felicity is the price for mine and Thea’s lives. I can’t let Malcolm kill her. We have to find her. My mother played me again. I’m an..”

John interrupted him, “Save that for later. Focus on Felicity now.” Oliver made a mental note to thank John later for that.

“Her cell phone. I tried to call it about thirty minutes ago. It still rang, so I’m guessing it’s still on.” Oliver said, helping Dig up. “I drove my bike here, are you good to drive on your own?”

“Yeah, go. I’ll meet you at Verdant.” Dig said quickly.

Oliver ran back to the elevator to head downstairs. He was alone in it as it inched downward. His mind drifted to the day in the elevator with Felicity at Merlyn’s building. _I want to hug you tight, again._ Oliver ran as fast as he could to his bike when he reached the ground floor. He didn’t care who saw or what story they put together with his actions. Felicity would call this reckless. Oliver didn’t care. Her life was at risk. Safe took too much time.

________________

The foundry was empty when Oliver stormed through the side entrance. Part of him was hoping to find Felicity sitting there. Maybe having weaseled her way out of her captor’s grasp and gotten his voice mail to fallback here. Oliver screamed at the top of his lungs. Tears stung his eyes. He let them for the briefest of moments, and then he reigned them in. Oliver sat down at the computers and pulled up Felicity’s tracing program. He typed in her number and let it run while he changed into his hood. _Forget it being early afternoon. I’m going prepared where ever she is._

Oliver was almost completely changed when his phone rang. It was Felicity’s number. “Felicity,” he answered, half breathless.

“Not exactly,” Malcolm’s voice answered. Oliver punched the table as he closed his eyes.

“Let her go,” Oliver said, through gritted teeth.

“No, we aren’t playing this game again.” Malcolm snarled. “You tell Mr. Diggle to stay downstairs. I’m guessing he should be there soon? You come upstairs when he gets here.” Malcolm took a breath, “If I see him, you all die.”

“You’re in the club?” Oliver questioned.

“It wasn’t too hard to figure out your cover once the pieces made themselves known.”

“How do I know she is still alive?” Oliver was scared of the potential answers before the question left his lips.

“Oliver,” Felicity gasped.

“She’s capable of speech, is that proof enough?” 

“If my mother’s deal with you was for mine and Thea’s lives, why haven’t you killed her yet?” 

“Because, I want you to suffer. I want you to know the pain of watching the woman you love die. I want your family to suffer.” 

“I’m going to kill you.” Oliver choked out.

“I’ll see you upstairs.” And the line went dead.

Oliver finished getting his hood on. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Dig walked in, “Anything?” Oliver turned to him. “Damn, you are white as a sheet. Talk to me, Oliver.”

“Malcolm has her upstairs.” Oliver said slowly, trying to calm down. Diggle went to head for the stairs, but Oliver grabbed his arm. “If you go up there, Malcolm will kill her instantly. He wants just me.”

“Oliver, I can’t.”

Dig was interrupted, “Please, you have to. I need someone down here monitoring things. Please. He has Felicity’s cell phone. I need you to stay here. I need her to have every chance she can get. I need her…” Oliver closed his eyes to try to keep the tears in. He took a few deep breaths and pulled the hood over his head.

“I’ll stay. Put this on so I can at least hear.” Dig grabbed one of the ear bud comm sets Felicity had insisted on them getting. “Oliver, she’s strong.”

“I know.” Oliver said. “I hope I’m strong enough to save her and end Malcolm.” Oliver turned and walked up stairs. His bow gripped tightly in his hand.

____________________

 

“I find it humorous to hear you talk about family,” Felicity sneered. Oliver heard her as he reached the top of the stairs.

“Why is that?” Malcolm giggled.

“The man who left his grieving eight year old son to run off to train and find enlightenment? The man who ignored the phone calls of his dying wife? The man who killed so many in the name of a woman who only wanted to HELP the people you’ve killed?” Felicity screamed as Malcolm punched her in the face. 

Oliver leaned his back against the wall. _Calm down, dammit._

Felicity laughed. “You are so easy to read and provoke.” 

“You are becoming annoying.” Malcolm snapped.

“What? Hate the truth? I swear, it must be an archer thing. Oliver hates hearing just how readable he is.” Felicity groaned. It sounded like Malcolm kicked her in the stomach. _Why are you provoking him, Felicity?_

“You are becoming as much of a pain in the ass as Oliver.” Malcolm said. “And for someone with no family, you have zero ground to stand on me to lecture me about mine.”

“I do have a family,” Felicity coughed. Oliver peered around the corner. The lights were out in the club, save one set of overhead ones. Felicity’s white button up shirt was stained with blood, and her hair was ruffled. Malcolm had her hands zip cuffed in the front. “John, Thea, Walter, and Oliver are my family. Who cares if there is no blood there. I consider them my family, and I will do whatever I can to protect them.” Malcolm stepped into the light. He was in his archer’s outfit, and he had his compound bow in his hand. 

“You really think the Queen’s consider the IT girl family?” Malcolm was trying to find a button to push. Felicity looked unaffected. _Dammit, when did you get so strong?_

Felicity walked right up to Malcolm and got in his face. “They treat me more like a family then you did your son.” Oliver couldn’t help but make a mental note if they survived this to NEVER piss Felicity off, ever.

Malcolm reached up and began to choke Felicity. Oliver took the chance with Malcolm’s back exposed to come from around the corner. Malcolm turned, so Oliver couldn’t get the shot off without hitting Felicity. “Put her down, now.”

"Ahhh Oliver." Malcolm said, still choking Felicity. “No. She will die. Both slowly and painfully by my hand. Or you can quickly put her out of her misery.”

Oliver swallowed hard. “I will not kill her.”

“Torture it is!” Malcolm said, as he threw Felicity against the metal staircase. She landed with a thud and a scream.

“Oliver.” She whispered. 

Malcolm leveled a nocked arrow at Felicity’s chest. “This is where she got shot, right?” He pressed the point of the arrowhead through Felicity’s shirt and into her skin. The white shirt showed the blood instantly. Felicity bit her lip and kept her eyes focused on Oliver. Her arms were already bruising. She had cuts on her legs, and what looked to be a black eye forming. 

Emotions fought to pour out of Oliver. “Stop.” His voice cracked when he said it. _I know what I have to do_ , he thought. “If I kill her, does that mean Thea and everyone else is safe? I know you aren’t letting me out of here alive, I’m not that stupid.” Oliver’s voice was dark. Felicity’s gaze didn’t leave him.

“Yes,” Malcolm answered. “Seeing you kill the woman you love will be payment enough.”

“Oliver you can’t do this!” Diggle said in his ear. Oliver shook his head and ignored it. He dropped his bow on the ground and walked over to Felicity.

Oliver picked her up and kissed her gently. He hugged her tightly and lost control of his emotions. “Do you trust me?” he whispered in her ear, where Malcolm couldn’t hear. Malcolm had backed up to get a better view of the scene.

“With my life.” She whispered in return. “I’d rather die by your hands quickly than him make you watch me die slowly. I love you, Oliver.” Oliver felt himself shaking. _Stop, you need control to do this. FOCUS_ , he yelled at himself inside his head.

“Look at me.” He cupped her face in his gloved hands. “I need you to remember. Shengcun. I love you.” Felicity looked slightly confused. “Shengcun.” Oliver dropped one of his hands to squeeze the fingers of her right hand. “Shengcun. Remember.” Felicity closed her eyes and smiled slightly. Oliver took that moment to spin her around and put her in a choke hold. Tears flowed from his eyes. Felicity didn’t struggle. She just squeezed his hand back. “Shengcun,” she whispered as her body went limp. 

Oliver gently laid her body on the floor by the stairs. He leaned down and kissed her bright pink lips. “I love you,” he whispered through tears. Oliver ran his hand under her chin. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, how sweet.” Malcolm said, as Oliver felt the sting of the dart in his arm. The last thing Oliver saw before his vision went black was Felicity’s lifeless body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breathe. Hint: Remember the episode of the show we learn that word in. Wine and ice cream are advised. Update will be soon. Don't kill me. *hides behind Oliver*


	24. Good Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes to a head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely messages about this today! I hope you enjoy this! You get some Diggle POV in this one. =) Thanks for your views and comments!

Felicity jolted away with a hacking cough. She quickly looked around the room. No one. Oliver and Malcolm were gone. Felicity scrambled to her feet. Her body was wobbly and soreness had already set in. _Oliver’s bow and quiver._ She grabbed them as she moved as fast as her body would let her to the stairs. Felicity quickly keyed in her code and slammed the door behind her. As soon as her feet hit the stairs, she heard John, “Oliver, please tell me you didn’t kill Feli..” John stopped mid-sentence when he saw her. “Felicity!” John came to help her down the stairs.

“How long since Malcolm left?” She managed to get out as she sat Oliver’s gear on the floor.

“It’s been five minutes since Oliver killed you and things went quiet. It’s hard to pick up anything besides voices on these earbuds.” John took a moment, “The neat trick…”

“Huh?” Felicity said, trying to get her feet to work right. 

“I should have known that’s what he was doing. I’ve seen him do it one other time.” Diggle twisted his head sideways, “But how did you know?”

“Shengcun.” Felicity said as she made it to the computers. She began typing to see if any of her ways to track Oliver were working.

“English, please!” Dig looked frustrated. “I know Oliver kept telling you that.”

“It means survive in Chinese. He learned the trick on the island. He engraved the symbols on my bow. I need to find him so I can go save him, John.” Felicity turned towards him. _I don’t have time or energy to explain how deep Oliver’s history goes or how I know it. Gah, Felicity, stop, Dig’s worried_ , she thought.

“Felicity, I’m not letting you go alone.” Dig said sternly. “You are hurt, and it looks bad.”

“Adrenhaline is an amazing thing. Plus, this is part of our plan.” Felicity said, getting up to go get her gear while her programs ran.

“Our plan?” John looked even more frustrated. “You planned to fake your death?”

“Heavens no. My archery. Malcolm doesn’t know and won’t suspect it. We thought it would be a more planned plan, but Malcolm had a different time table.” Felicity grabbed the jacket and gear Oliver gave her. “I’m going to get changed. Watch the computers and see if anything pops up.” Felicity walked back to the storage room before Dig could argue or attempt to talk sense into her.

When Felicity got out of his sight, she stopped for a moment. Her body felt like a huge pin cushion as her nerves and muscles were firing at what seemed like a million times a minute. Her brain was racing with all the scenarios, with what happened, with what John and Oliver had taught her. She bit back as many of her tears as she could. _Oliver, I hope I can save you_ , Felicity thought as she pulled off her blood stained shirt.

________________

Oliver opened his eyes, and they struggled to adjust to the dimly lit area he was in. The pounding in his head matched the beat of his heart. His hands were zip cuffed behind his back. “What’s the point in this, Malcolm? JUST KILL ME!” Oliver shouted. _That wasn’t smart_ , he thought has the pounding grew louder in his head.

Malcolm stepped into what little light there was. “No. Part of me wants you to live with what you did a bit before I put you out of your misery.” 

Oliver closed his eyes and sank back against the wall. _Felicity. I hope you are alive. I hope I didn’t kill you._ He looked around trying to figure out where Malcolm had taken him after he drugged him inside Verdant. There was what looked to be rubble scattered around and railroad tracks? Oliver started to chuckle, “Paps street. You brought me to the place we deactivated the first device. Why here?” 

“This spot was supposed to be destroyed. You stopped that. Actually Felicity did, but she’s already dead.” Oliver fought against the cuffs hearing Malcolm say her name. “I just thought this would be the perfect place to kill you.”

“I hate to tell you, I’m used to torture.” Oliver sneered.

“Yes, you are, but you aren’t at your best mental state right now. Emotional torture combined with physical can be rather interesting.” Malcolm picked Oliver up by the shoulders. “Your love is dead. Your partner is in a basement with no way to track you.” Shit, Oliver thought. “Oh yes, I learned from the last two times. Signal blocker.” Malcolm grinned as he threw Oliver back against the wall. Oliver swept Malcolm’s feet out from under him. Malcolm fell, and Oliver chuckled.

“Sorry.” Oliver smirked as Malcolm punched him.

“Do you have a death wish?” Malcolm asked.

“Maybe,” Oliver looked up at him. “You did just have me kill my one reason for still being alive.” Oliver sighed as he closed his eyes. 

“You’ll get your wish, just when I want to grant it.”

“Perfect,” Oliver clenched his jaw. He fought his brain from conjuring up images of Felicity. The sound of her voice. The berry scented shampoo she uses. Her wearing his button up shirt. That damn button up shirt. If they were both still alive tomorrow, she could steal however many of them she wanted.

________________

Diggle was sitting at the computers when Felicity came back into the foundry. “Oliver’s cell signal and tracker both dropped out near Paps street.” He said as he turned around. “What are you…huh…Felicity?”

“Oliver gave it to me.” Felicity looked down at the black boots with leather ties, the black canvas pants with cargo pockets, and then her jacket. She had her blonde hair in a tight bun at the back of her head, with her hood pulled up over it. Oliver had warned her if she ever had to do this, her blonde hair needed to be covered. “I have to go save him, John”

Diggle had never seen this side of Felicity. Frankly, it scared him and made him wonder if Oliver was a bad influence. On the other hand, he always knew Felicity was strong and stubborn. “Let me go with you to help, Felicity. Malcolm only said he’d kill you if I went upstairs. The situation has changed now.”

“Oliver lied to you then,” Felicity said, strapping on her own quiver to her back. “Malcolm said he’d kill us all. Oliver knows you would risk yourself, but not me. Oliver couldn’t risk any of us but himself. And John, I can’t let Carly lose you.”

“And now you are going to risk yourself. You are starting to sound like him.” Dig sounded frustrated.

“Let’s pretend this is Freaky Friday, and you get to be me for the day. I need you monitoring the police frequencies and traffic cams. I need to do this. One, because Oliver asked, and two, because I need to know that I’m not the weakness for you and Oliver. I also need to know that if we fail, someone we both trust is alive to watch Thea.” Felicity picked up a blue tooth headset and stuck it in her ear. “Can you please do that for me Dig and trust me that I can do this?”

Dig sighed and turned his back to Felicity for a moment. “You’ve never given up on him or let him down. I trust you, but know, if I don’t hear from you soon, I’m coming after you two.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Felicity smiled as she grabbed her bow and Oliver’s gear. “I can do this, right?” She let the self-doubt out for a moment.

“Yes,” Diggle smiled. _I hope you can, Felicity_ , he thought. “Take this.” He handed her one of the ear buds. “Oliver had one in. Maybe when you get close enough, his will still be working.” Felicity slipped it in her other ear.

“He so owes me dinner to where ever I want tonight,” Felicity joked. Diggle noticed her biting her lip. “What vehicles are here?”

“Oliver’s bike and my car. Take my car.” Diggle put the keys in her hand. “Stay safe.”

“I’ll try, and I’m glad I don’t have to drive the bike. Too klutzy for that.” Felicity laughed as she ran to the side door. Diggle swore he saw tears rolling down her cheek.

He went back to the computer desk and sat down. “I feel so wrong letting her go after him.” John decide to get up and get the medical stuff out just in case. Not like he could sit still right now, anyway.

________________

Felicity was hoping her gut reaction to where the tracker dropped out would prove correct. Paps street was where her and Detective Lance deactivated the device. Merylyn did seem to have a since for nostalgia and flair. “Dig, can you hear me?” Felicity asked as she sped through the Glades.

“Gotcha.” Diggle said. 

She knew the earbud wouldn’t work until she got closer to Oliver. They were only meant to be worn on missions for Oliver and Diggle to communicate. She remembered the night she worn won to the casino. Felicity screamed at her brain to shut up so that she could focus. _Memory lane time after you save him._

“I’m here, John.” Felicity said, parking the car around the block from the entrance. It looked to be late afternoon or early evening. Her brain was fuzzy on time with all that had happened today. She took the alley way to avoid being noticed carrying two bows. Not that anyone came to this part of the Glades since the quake with the destruction that still reached here. Felicity couldn’t help but wonder for a moment what things would have looked like if the device at Paps street went off.

Felicity climbed down into the subway tunnel, hoping she was right.

________________

Oliver felt the blood slowly running down his face. He had been fighting back as best he could. Oliver knew he could slip the cuffs, but he was saving that card for if Felicity found him. Malcolm’s form of torture was a lot easier to tolerate that Wintergreen’s. No swords. Just beatings and some cuts with arrow heads. Barring Malcolm didn’t cut anything major, Oliver could hold out. _At least I think I can._

“So why Felicity?” Malcolm asked. Emotional torture was tougher for Oliver to tolerate, though.

“Because she saw me for me,” Oliver said. His skin was damp with cold sweat, especially since his hood had fallen back.

“But she became your weakness, even more than Laurel ever was.” Malcolm was standing in the center of the tracks in front of Oliver.

“I made the choice to let her in no matter what. I couldn’t live alone anymore.” Oliver was standing on his knees. 

“And look at where that’s gotten you?”

“No, my ignorance and not wanting to believe how evil my mother could be got me here.” Oliver snarled. “Felicity showed me how it felt to be alive. So I can die happy with that knowledge after what I’ve been through.” 

_Oliver_ , Felicity’s voice whispered in his ear. Oliver hoped it was coming from his ear bud and not the concussion is was sure he had. _Shengcun_ , the voice added. Oliver knew he was smiling.

“I have to ask, why are you smiling?” Malcolm stepped closer to Oliver.

“Everyone underestimated Felicity. Everyone. Especially me. Quiet little Felicity who was happy to hide with her computers.” Oliver kept smiling. “The night of the quake, I tried to get her to leave the Glades. She refused. She stayed to help. Sweet little Felicity that used to gag at blood and didn’t want to help any more than to find Walter.” Oliver fought to get to his feet. He started slowly working his hands out of the zip cuffs. “Patient Felicity that stuck by me when I was an asshole to my friends. When all I thought about was getting back with Laurel. Kind Felicity who put me back together when I broke apart. Loving Felicity who tolerated more than anyone should for the sake of making sure I knew someone in this world accepted me for me, problems and all.” _Keep him facing you_ , Felicity whispered in the ear bud. “Intelligent Felicity who keeps facts stored away for when she needs them to protect the ones she loves.” Oliver grinned.

“And why do I care about any of this?” Malcolm looked confused and frustrated which only made Oliver laugh.

“Redundancy.” Oliver said with a smirk.

“Huh?” Malcolm said as they both her the bow string snap.

“He means ME!” Felicity yelled as the arrow pierced Malcolm’s shoulder, spinning him around. 

“What the?” Malcolm went to nock and arrow, but Oliver charged him, having slipped the cuffs. The two were well matched hand to hand, but Oliver was weak from Malcolm’s beatings. Oliver lost sight of Felicity.

“Behind you,” her voice came in his ear. “On the tracks.” Oliver punched Malcolm hard in the head and scrambled backwards. “Bow and quiver,” Felicity said, still in his ear. 

“Color me surprised,” Malcolm said, standing up. He nocked an arrow and turned slowly in a circle. 

Oliver wondered where Felicity was in the darkness. He had trained her well. She was using the environment against Malcolm. Oliver strapped his quiver on as he hid behind a large piece of rubble. “Told you every one under estimated her.” Oliver shouted.

Malcolm fired an arrow in the direction of Oliver’s voice. The next sound Oliver heard was Malcolm groan. _You got him again, didn’t you?_ “I have to thank you for pushing me to learn archery, Malcolm.” Felicity teased. “I needed to know that I could defend myself and those I loved more than hacking their bullies’ bank accounts.” _She’s moving_ , Oliver thought listening to her voice.

“It’s over, Malcolm” Oliver stood up from his hiding spot, with an arrow nocked and aimed at Malcolm. He saw that Felicity had landed two arrows in Malcolm’s back, which was making it difficult for him to hold his bow properly. “I told Tommy that I didn’t kill you. Don’t make me break that word.” Oliver saw Felicity step into the light behind Malcolm. She had her bow drawn.

“You know I won’t die without a fight, Oliver.” Malcolm said as he let go of the bow string. Oliver ducked the arrow, and as he repositioned to shoot, Malcolm collapsed to the ground, an arrow right in between his shoulder blades.

“And I won’t let one of the last things he told Tommy be a lie.” Felicity said, dropping her bow to her side. She smiled at Oliver and started walking towards him. “Hey you,” she whispered. The exhaustion was starting to hit her. “John, I got Oliver.” Felicity said, flipping on the blue tooth. “Call Detective Lance. Tell him Malcolm Merlyn’s body is under Paps street.” Felicity fell into Oliver’s arms, and he hugged her tightly.

“You saved me,” He whispered in her ear. “You remembered.”

“Never been more thankful for my ability to remember everything I read,” Felicity laughed, then winced. “No more making me laugh. I think he broke a rib or three of mine.”

“Let’s get out of here.” Oliver said, wrapping his arm around Felicity. They held each other up as they walked slowly along the subway tunnel. As they were getting in Diggle’s car, police were already pulling up and running in. 

“Dig, did they get his body?” Felicity said. Oliver waited for the answer. “It’s over,” she looked at him with a smile. 

The shy, quiet computer geek that he underestimated so much had saved his life. _Again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end. There is more. Just wanted to put this note since this end does sound "final". They still have to get cleaned up, go get fussed at by Dig, and I might even carry this out to Moira's trial, Walter and Thea returning, and what that all could mean if people would like that. Just let me know!


	25. Echo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity reacts to what all has happened, and Oliver has to take on a role that is out of character for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Update! This chapter sort of parallels Shattered. I hope you all enjoy this one. Thank you for all your reads and reviews!

Felicity pulled up to Verdant as the sun was setting. From the looks of the parking lot, Dig called the club’s employees to tell them they weren’t opening that night. He probably said they had power issues, which wasn’t really a lie. Things had been a little sporadic since the quake, even months later. Oliver was the first out of the car. He grabbed their bows from the back. Felicity sat there for a moment, took a deep breath, and then got out of the car. Her legs wobbled the first step she took. It made enough of a noise that Oliver looked back with concern. 

“I’m fine,” she whispered. Oliver gave her the look that he knew she was lying, but he didn’t push it. Both of them had beaten up pretty badly today. Oliver was more used to it, so he looked like a shower and nap would fix him up. Felicity was a little afraid to look in the mirror. Places were starting to hurt that she didn’t remember getting hit. _Adrenaline must be wearing off_ , she thought as she walked into the basement.

_Stairs. I can do these. Did them after coming back from the dead._ Oliver was at her side after she slipped the second time. “Don’t. Let me help.” He said, putting his arm around her waist and practically carrying her down the stairs.

“I think the adrenaline is fading,” Felicity said, as Oliver sat her down in her computer chair. Dig was at her side looking at the cut on her forehead. Oliver was in front of her taking his hood off, revealing the black skin tight under armor shirt he wore. Felicity’s jacket felt like it was stifling her. Choking her like Oliver’s hands earlier. Her skin felt clammy and cold. She started to shake. “I just want to go home, guys. Please.” Her voice sounded like a whimper to her ears. _Where did strong Felicity go? Damn adrenaline crash._

“Felicity, I think you should go to the hospital.” Dig said.

“No. Home. Too many questions at the hospital that we can’t answer,” she looked up at Oliver, “He is worse than me, but you aren’t fussing over him.” Felicity’s voice sounded sharp to her own years. “Sorry, Dig. I just, I think I’m crashing from the adrenaline rush?”  
Oliver’s eyes changed into the protective pained look. “It probably is, but still, I’m worried about you.” He kneeled in front of her, “I saw how Malcolm threw you earlier. You could have a concussion or worse.” He squeezed her hands tightly. 

Felicity had to chuckle, “You are the one talking sense, and I’m being stubborn.” She saw John smirk. “Freaky Friday.”

Oliver looked confused, “Huh?”

“Oh her reasoning for going off halfcocked after you earlier. I’m still frustrated about being stuck down here.” John vented, “But I understand why. I also don’t like that you two had a plan you didn’t tell me about.”

“We honestly thought we’d have more time to plan an attack on Malcolm.” Oliver answered for Felicity.

“Can we save the ‘Let’s fuss at Felicity for being rash and Oliver like’ for after I’ve cleaned up and eaten?” Felicity asked.

Both men looked down at her, “We need to check out your wounds,” Dig looked at Oliver, “On both of you. And judging from both your heads, you both might have concussions. So neither of you should be alone tonight.” Felicity smirked at Oliver’s eyes rolling at Diggle. “I swear, I thought Oliver was bad, but together, when you two both decide to be stubborn, it’s insane.” John ended up laughing.

“Remember that the next time you two get on each other’s nerves and stop talking,” Felicity chimed in with a giggle. “I said I want to go home. I didn’t say I cared if I was alone. I have stuff at Oliver’s house still. Plus, I don’t want to be alone tonight.” Felicity usually kept the talk like that to a minimum around Diggle, but she didn’t care tonight. _He knows about us anyway, so who cares._

“Looks like I’m babysitting you two for tonight.” John said with a tone of finality to it. Oliver and Felicity both kept their mouths shut and just looked at each other. “The club is taken care of for the night. What’s the plan after tonight?”

Felicity had ideas, but Oliver spoke before her, “We hide out until my mother’s trial starts Monday. I honestly want her to believe her planned worked or make her sweat just what went wrong when news of Malcolm’s death reaches her.” The next part surprised even Felicity, “I’m sorry that I ignore the worries and fears you two had when it came to her and Malcolm. Maybe if I wasn’t so ignorant we could have found things out sooner and stopped some of this.”

“Hind sight is 20/20, man.” Diggle said. Felicity just squeezed Oliver’s hand that was still close to her hand.

“Thank you for not saying ‘I told you so’ again,” Oliver said to Diggle.

Dig squeezed Oliver’s shoulder and nodded. “Get her in the car. I’ll get some of the medical stuff and meet you out there in a few minutes.”

Oliver looked back at Felicity, “Come on, you.” He helped her up, “How are the legs now?”

Felicity wrapped her arm tightly around Oliver’s waist. “Still shakey.” 

“I gotcha.” Oliver held her up. “Let’s go home.”

Felicity recognized the tone of his voice. It was a gruff whisper that always meant volumes more of thoughts were in his head than what he actually said. “I’m okay, Oliver,” she lied.

“And you’re lying,” Oliver said as they reached the car.

“I know I am,” Felicity whispered to herself before Oliver got in on the other side. She curled up beside him. Her body was tired and cold still. Oliver was warm and safe. 

_________________

About half way home, Felicity fell asleep curled up next to Oliver. She was still completely dressed in the outfit he gave her. The outfit she saved him in. Oliver looked up at Dig, “I’m worried about her.”

“I know,” Dig said, starting to drive again as the light turned green. “She scared me earlier.”

“How so?” Oliver whispered so he didn’t wake up Felicity.

“She wouldn’t sit still or let me check her injuries when she came down stairs.” John noticed the look Oliver flashed him. “Trust me, I tried. She was so focused to help you. It was odd seeing her be like this perfect mix of you and her.”

“What do I do?” Oliver looked down at Felicity sleeping using his thigh has a pillow.

“Help her. Be there for her. Tonight she went through things that you and I deal with often. She is not as fine as the façade she is putting up.”

“Putting people back together is her job, not mine.” Oliver knew he sounded defeated. _You are so much better at this than I am, Felicity_ , he thought.

“Do you love her as much as you seem to?” John asked pointedly.

“Yes.” Oliver gently rubbed Felicity’s back. “Probably more than I can really explain.”

“Then trust what feels right.” Diggle made the turn into the Queen property. “Felicity let it slip tonight that you’ve opened up to her about your past. She kept the details private, don’t worry.” Dig added quickly, “I asked her to explain the Shengcun comment.” He paused for a moment, then continued, “My point is that you finally opened up to someone after so long. I know you. You wouldn’t do that unless you felt completely safe with her and trusted her. I’ve seen how she can phase you and how you look at her. I also know how you reacted when you thought you lost her.” Oliver closed his eyes. “You don’t react like that for someone unless you love them completely, and I think you are only now starting to realize just how much you actually love Felicity.”

Oliver was quiet rest of the ride to the house. _I hate when Diggle is so right._

Felicity woke up when the car stopped. Oliver helped her out and went to open the front door. With Thea and Walter away, the house was still quiet. Oliver had paid the maid take a long vacation. She deserved a break anyway, and it made him feel nice to do it. “I’m going to take a shower,” Felicity said as she walked past Oliver and Dig.

“Oliver, I don’t know about you, but I know she hasn’t eaten all day.” John said, still standing by the car. “I’m going to go pick up some food for us. Go take care of her.”

Oliver nodded and headed inside. _I have no idea what to do._

______________________

Felicity starred into the mirror in Oliver’s bathroom. Auto-pilot took her there. She was most familiar with this room. Her hair was still back in the tight bun she’d put it in. Small strands had fought to freedom and sprung out in random curls encircling her face. Blood was dried against her forehead and cheek, and her right eye was already bruising. Felicity started to unzip the jacket when she saw her throat. It was a shade of purple and blue between Malcolm’s choke throw and Oliver’s fake death trick move. Felicity’s mind raced of ways to hide it all from Oliver, because she knew he’d worry. Thea had loads of scarves she could borrow.

Felicity felt her hands and entire body starting to shake again. She gripped the counter to keep from falling. The nap in the car had done nothing for her except make her body more aware of just how much pain she was in. Oliver was still getting back on his feet from everything. Felicity didn’t want this to send him back into the brooding closed off version of himself.

She barely recognized herself in the mirror. Her glasses were still at Verdant since she put her contacts on before going after Oliver. She wondered what she’d say about work. No way could she go back to work this week. The questions. _What happened? Are you okay? Did Oliver do that to you? How did it happen?_ Her brain went over just some of the question she’d knew she would be asked, but that she couldn’t answer honestly. And then it finally hit her.

“I killed a man tonight,” Felicity said to herself in the mirror. “I did what I always tell Oliver to try to avoid. I mean I did put two arrows in Malcolm first. Non-lethal ones. He should have stopped, but he was right. He wasn’t going down without a fight. If he had lived, he would have kept coming after us. After Oliver, Thea, Dig, Me, Carly, her son. Any of us. Or tell people about Oliver. I know, I think I did the right thing, but still, I killed someone.” Her voice was cracking. “I killed Tommy’s dad. I killed someone. The ones I love are safe now, but I killed someone.”

Oliver’s hand on her shoulder scared her, and she jumped. Felicity hadn’t even noticed him walk up behind her. She shook her head and looked up at him, “I killed someone.” 

He narrowed his eyes and titled his head, “I know.” Oliver kissed his forehead. “Been wondering when it would hit you.” He ran his hand across her cheek. “I’m going to look at your wounds, okay?”

“But you are hurt, too..”

Oliver interrupted her. “I am, but you come first.” He sat the bag of medicine stuff on the counter as Felicity hopped up on the counter. Sitting felt better than standing. If she fell off the counter, Oliver was there to catch her.

_________________

_I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do._ Oliver’s brain was a mess. Felicity was his strength. She was the strong one in situations like this. She was the one that put him back together when the shelf that he stored his bottled up emotions on crashed to the ground. She was the fearless one that never turned away from him. _Just take care of her_ , Oliver heard Dig’s words in his head. He sat the medical stuff out on the counter. Dig had packed a good amount of everything, to include a suture kit and pain medicine.

Oliver turned his attention back to Felicity. She was just starring off into space, fidgeting with the gloves still half on her hands. Oliver took her hands in his and slowly pulled them off. They dropped to the floor. “Look at me,” he whispered to her. She did. He could see where she had been crying. “I’m not going to ask if you are okay. I know you aren’t. I’m not the best at this, you are. But I’m going to be here for you,” Oliver just said what came to mind.

She smiled at him, "Just keep talking. I thought I would never hear your voice again.”

Oliver nodded, “I can do that.” He started to unzip her jacket, and Oliver could feel her tense up. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want you to see my neck,” Felicity looked away from him. 

_What did it do to her? _“I need to.” Oliver said, slowly pulling the jacket off of her. He bit the inside of his lip to keep his face straight as he saw the bruising. Oliver ran his hands gently over them. He thought she’d cringe from his touch there, but she didn’t. “Are you afraid of me now?”__

__“No.”_ _

__Felicity had a tight white tank top on. Where Malcolm had cut her had still been bleeding when she changed clothes. The blood had now dried, sticking her shirt to her. “I need to wet this a little so it won’t hurt as much when I pull your shirt off.” Felicity acknowledge him. Oliver wet a wash cloth under the sink with warm water and gently dampened the bloodied spot. Felicity closed her eyes. “Hey, stay with me. No going to sleep.”_ _

__“I’m not. The warm water just feels good.” Felicity smiled at him._ _

__Oliver saw bits of his happy Felicity in that smile, which helped his spirits. “Unless you really care for this shirt, I’m just going to cut it off to make sure we don’t hurt you more.”_ _

__“Zero sentimental attachment. Chop it away.” Felicity said with a giggle._ _

__Oliver did just that. Felicity winced when it came to pulling away the part over the cut. Oliver knew he lost control of the worry he was trying to hide when he felt her grab his hand that stopped over her scar. “I’m sorry you got hurt again.”_ _

__“Stop. Please. I’m alive. You’re alive. Just talk to me.” Felicity pleaded._ _

__“I finally can say we are even.” Oliver smirked while cleaning the cut. “I got to play doctor on you shirtless.”_ _

__Felicity chuckled and screamed in pain. “Owwww. No more making my laugh.”_ _

__“I’m sorry.” Oliver kissed her gently. “I figured out why you bite your lip. You do it when you are nervous or you are trying to focus.” Felicity grinned._ _

__“So did you mean everything you said earlier? Did you underestimate me that much?” Felicity asked as Oliver bent down to unlatch her boots._ _

__“Yes.” He stood in front of her, “You really are unique in my life. I never thought you would be capable of doing all that you’ve done. I also never thought you’d be the one to stand up to me and break through to me.”_ _

__“Do you think I’m a hypocrite?”_ _

__Even though Oliver knew what she meant, he asked “About what?”_ _

__“Killing Malcolm. I’ve always told you to try ways that didn’t involve arrows in viable parts needed for life. I didn’t think before I shot the final arrow.” She shook her head, “Wrong, I did. I thought about you, me, everyone. I’m not sure how much of my ramble you heard earlier.”_ _

__“Enough of it,” Oliver whispered. _All of it, but it doesn’t matter.__ _

__“I know why I did it. To protect everyone. It’s just that I did it.” Felicity sighed. “I don’t know if I’m making any sense.”_ _

__She was making more sense than she realized. Oliver had this internal debate on the island after his first kill in self-defense. “Killing someone is never something I have wanted to do. I remember the first time I killed to protect myself and people I considered friends. I know it’s a hard thing to come completely to terms with, especially when you tried to avoid it coming to that.”_ _

__“I’m glad we’re both alive, Oliver.”_ _

__“Me, too.” He smiled, “I have to admit. It was pretty amazing seeing you save the day.”_ _

__Felicity got this smile she always got when a computer did what she wanted it to. This infectious ear to ear smile. “It was? I was so nervous!”_ _

__“It didn’t show. You remembered everything we talked about. I’m really proud of you, Felicity.”_ _

__“If I could jump up and down right now, I would, but that would probably hurt.” Felicity decided. “I’m glad you aren’t being all male about a girl saving you.”_ _

__“It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve saved me, Felicity,” Oliver admitted. “Now,” he grinned, “I need you to take your pants off.” Felicity tilted her head and mouthed, _huh?_ Oliver laughed, “I need to see if you have any cuts on your legs. You were in a skirt this morning, and it’s not like I haven’t seen you without pants, Felicity Smoak.”_ _

__Felicity stuck out her tongue. _She’s going to be okay_ , Oliver thought. After he checked her legs for wounds, he let her clean his cuts. The two of them took a shower together to get completely clean. They then bandaged each other’s wounds when they were done. “I still think normal is boring.” Felicity said out of the blue, as she put butterfly bandages on Oliver’s forehead._ _

__“Normal wouldn’t have near death experiences, though.” Oliver added, “But normal would mean you’d be just a boring IT girl again. Am I worth all this?”_ _

__“You are,” she smiled. “And you owe me a real date out and a new phone. Malcolm smashed mine.”_ _

__Oliver couldn’t help but laugh. They would be okay. They would look after each other. The two of them got dressed and went to find Diggle, who had to be back by now._ _


	26. Safe Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity comes to realize Oliver's listened to her more than she realized he had. Oliver comes to some realizations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is dedicated to the Olicity fandom on tumblr. We needed fluff, and this chapter timed itself correctly. Also, with this chapter, there is a spoiler to the episode "Father's Day" from series 1 of Doctor Who with Nine and Rose. I hope you all enjoy the happy fluff. This chapter is completely Oliver's point of view. More of Felicity throwing him off balance. =) Thank you all for the reads and reviews!

Oliver had carried Felicity to bed after she fell asleep while they watched a movie with Diggle. John said he would clean up and find a spare bedroom to crash in for the night. Slept didn’t come easy for Oliver. He watched the clock for a solid hour before his eye lids grew too heavy. His brain couldn’t stop worrying about Felicity. Even though he probably had more physical wounds than her, he was used to it – she wasn’t. Everytime Felicity whimpered or twitched, Oliver woke up. He would rub her back gently, sometimes slipping his hand under her tank top. The warmth of his hand on her skin seemed to calm her. At one point in the night, Felicity curled up to Oliver with her back to him. Oliver gently wrapped his arm around her and held her gently. “I’m here, just sleep,” he whispered in her ear. Oliver could feel her relax back into a deep sleep at his words. 

_____________________

Surfing the internet wasn’t how Oliver usually spent his free time. He was half way entertaining himself looking up articles about his mother’s trail, crime since the Undertaking, and random big names on the list. This had managed to keep his mind occupied for a solid hour. Diggle popped his head in at eight in the morning to say he was heading out but to call him if they needed anything. Oliver asked him to watch the club for the night, which Diggle didn’t mind doing. Felicity had been peacefully resting for the last few hours, and Oliver wanted to make sure she got the rest she needed. He had gotten some sleep, but he’d been wide away since sunrise.

Part of him was worried about her still sleeping. The logical side of him said that she was stirring when he touched her, that her eyes reacted correctly to light, and that she ate and kept the food down – so she’s fine. She was even babbling like good ole Felicity before she fell asleep on the couch last night. _Jumping off roof tops is less stressful than this._ Oliver even called Thea and Walter. He didn’t use skype. Felicity understood that better. Plus, he didn’t feel like explain why he looked like he’d done battle with a battering ram. They were going to catch a flight and be back by the weekend.

Oliver looked down at the clock – nine in the morning. He went back to looking up news. The headline was the Hood taking down Malcolm. _Felicity will love that she made the news_ , he thought. Oliver was still very proud of her. He just wanted her to wake up so that he could know for sure she was okay. Oliver tapped his pencil on the desk. He heard a soft giggle and smiled.

“You are funny when you worry.” Felicity said from the bed.

Oliver turned around, “How do you know I’m worrying?”

“It’s the one time you can’t sit still. You fidget. Like the night I gave you Walter’s notebook.” She stretched out and winced some. “What time is it? Its pitch black in here with the curtains drawn. I’m not terribly shocked that you have black out curtains. Good for hangover mornings, right?”

“Maybe.” He smirked, breathing a sigh of relief. “How are you feeling?”

“Rested. You?”

“Good. Sore, but I’ll be fine.” Oliver smiled. “You made the headline of every local news.”

“I did! Oh let me see!” Felicity jumped up out of bed, and Oliver knew she was going to regret it. He caught her before she could fall and held her in his lap. “Woah…head rush.”

“Take it easy, okay?” Oliver wrapped and arm around her waist. “See, the Hood saves the city from Malcolm Merlyn.”

“That’s kind of neat.” Felicity’s voice trailed off a bit.

“They are right. You did save the city from him doing more harm.” Oliver kissed her shoulder. “I know it doesn’t make everything fall into place in your head, though.”

“So did you sleep at all?” The look on her face was one Oliver had learned well. He jokingly called it “Don’t you even attempt to lie to me.”

“Yes,” he looked believably innocent.

“Good!” Felicity grabbed her side. “How did you deal with pain like this on the island? Gah I’m sorry, don’t mind me. Filter disabled due to head trauma. You don’t need to even acknowledge I asked a question.” She was blushing four shades of red. Oliver just smiled. Felicity was the one person that he didn’t mind asking questions. _Dig is right, I feel safe with you._

“Herbs like the ones I gave you back at the cabin. Suffering through it. High pain tolerance. Working through it. All of the above.” Oliver answered while rubbing Felicity’s back. He felt her push lightly against his hand. 

“Anything pain medicine sounds really awesome right now. Am I still your patient?” Felicity’s eyes seemed a brighter blue without her glasses on.

“Yes, you are.” Oliver smirked. “And I have a surprise for you?”

“Am I allowed to walk on my own?” Felicity chuckled, still firmly being held in Oliver’s lap.

“If you are careful,” Oliver released his arms. “Go curl up in the chair in front of the tv.” 

Felicity did, and Oliver followed her. “I remember someone telling me long ago that there were people that wanted to be in my life. That one of the jobs of those friends would be to plan the Doctor Who marathon when I have a bad week.”

Felicity tilted her head to the side, “I swear, the only way you know Doctor Who exists is my ramblings. What did you do?”

Oliver was pressing buttons on the remote, “You are the first girl that I’ve had actual trouble figuring out how to surprise you or do something special.”

“I think that’s a compliment?” Felicity said with a slight giggle.

Oliver felt his nerves creeping up, “It is. Keeps me on my toes.” 

“You got Netflix streaming so I could sit in your room and watch Doctor Who all day?” Felicity’s voice sounded so happy. 

“So we can watch it.” Oliver added. 

“So if I remember right, the friend also said ice cream was involved.”

“You need to eat first.” Oliver turned to her.

“Ice cream of the right flavor covers several food groups, I would like you to know.” Felicity grinned.

“Would you let me get away with that line?” Oliver raised his eyebrows. Felicity wrinkled her nose in defeat. “I’ll be back in a few with some breakfast. You stay put.”

“Yes, sir.” She looked up at him. “Remote please!”

Oliver handed it over and left the room. As Oliver got to the stairs, he felt his entire body relax. The worry he’d been holding on to since this morning was fading. His eyes stung as tears welled up in them. He sat down on the stairs for a minute trying to figure out why he was crying. Then it hit him – _Felicity, the woman I love, is going to be okay. I’m okay. We’re both alive and together. That’s more than I thought I would have twenty four hours ago. We’ll make it work from here._

___________________

Ten hours, many episodes, some Chinese takeout, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and some wine later, one episode of Doctor Who had Felicity in tears. Oliver had never watched the show, but he was actually enjoying it. Partly because he wanted to learn about the things Felicity liked, and he could also understand the Doctor some. 

“Everything okay, Felicity?” Oliver asked as he looked across at her.

She sniffled, “Yeah. That episode always makes me think about my dad.”

Felicity never really talked about her family. Oliver understood not prying for answers people didn’t want to give, so he never really asked her. “You’ve never talked about him or your mom.”

She looked at him. Felicity was sitting sideways in the chair, facing him. Oliver really wondered if she knew how to sit in a chair normally. _Just one of her quirks_ , he thought. “He died in a car wreck when I was ten,” she said, looking off. _That’s why this episode got to her. The girl’s dad gets hit by a car._ “The first time I saw this, I just wished I could be like Rose and be with him.” Oliver reached over and squeezed her hand. “My mom passed away while I was in college. I’ve just been sort of alone ever since. I consider you, John, Thea and the bunch my family now. Not sure if that’s weird?” 

Oliver debated for a moment to tell her or not, and then said “I heard you talking to Malcolm yesterday, and I can say, without a doubt, we’re all family.”

Felicity smiled and laid back in the chair. “I also wanted a baby sister and a big brother.”

“What does that make me?” Oliver teased.

“Special. A category all your own.” Felicity grinned. 

___________________

The two of them spent the next few days just relaxing. Dig took care of the club and came over during the day. Oliver handed over his credit card to let Felicity order a new phone. She got the latest gadget filled phone that she could modify to her heart’s desire. Oliver took Felicity on tours of parts of the house she hadn’t seen yet. She deemed herself a new favorite spot – the wine cellar in the basement. Oliver made a mental note to remember that he’d easily find her here after a hard day and probably with a bottle of red wine already opened. Walter had told Queen Consolidated IT department that Miss Smoak was unable to come to work for a bit. He left the details sketchy as per Oliver’s request. Felicity hated missing work, but she did want to see the look on Moira’s face Monday. 

Early Friday morning, more like late Thursday night, Oliver and Felicity were both wide awake.

“You know our sleep schedules are more messed up now than they were before, right?” Felicity asked him as they sat on the stairs in the main entryway.

“Most definitely.” Oliver smirked. “You want to get out of here?”

“You mean I’m off house arrest?” Felicity joked. 

“Yes,” Oliver smiled. “As much as I love you and have loved hanging out with you, I’m going stir crazy.” He laughed.

“You? You haven’t let me do anything!” Felicity punched his arm.

Oliver feigned being more hurt than he was and rolled down the three stairs to the bottom. He pretended to be passed out. “You aren’t that cute.” Felicity deadpanned.

Peeking through one open eye, Oliver saw her on the stairs trying her best to not laugh. She was beautiful, even with the bruises that were slowly healing. Her spirit was mostly healed, which gave Oliver hope. “Yes, I am.” Oliver whispered.

“Maybe. Depends on where you want to take me.” Felicity said, sliding down the stairs towards him. “Remember, I’m supposed to be hiding.”

“You will be.” Oliver grinned.

“Oh shit,” Felicity said, which only made Oliver grin more. “No. You are not getting me on the bike. I trip walking on flat ground!”

“I am, and you aren’t driving. You just hold on.” Oliver said. He stood up and offered his hand to help her up. “Go get changed into something warmer, and wear your leather jacket.” He saw her eyes look off. “Trust me. Time to put a good memory with it.”

“You are so getting an arrow if I end up in the hospital.” Felicity turned to head upstairs.

“Fine,” Oliver chuckled.

_____________________

By the time Oliver got Felicity situated on the bike, it was almost four in the morning. She was tense and nervous. He gave her a kiss before helping put the helmet on her head. When she got on the back of the motorcycle, she wrapped her hands around his waist tighter than she ever had. Oliver heard her let out a little yell when he took off the first time. _You can face a master archer calmly, but this makes you yell_ , he chuckled to himself.

Oliver took the roads on the outer part of the city. He loved doing this when he couldn’t sleep, just to see all the lights of the city. It was quiet and peaceful to him. The noise and chaos of the daytime went away. There was something special Oliver wanted to show Felicity, and this was a perfect opportunity. About an hour and half later of driving, they stopped at the top of a hill looking East over the city. He helped Felicity off the bike. “This is the real reason for dragging you out here. Perfect time just happened to come up. I had to take it.” Oliver said, pulling her helmet off for her. 

Felicity looked East and smiled. “It’s beautiful.” She sat down on the ground near the bike and watched the sky. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Oliver sat down behind her and held her. As they watched the sunrise, Oliver got lost in his thoughts. _I’m not as worried about reality now. I have someone that I can just be me with. Who isn’t afraid of the Hood or my past and who wants to see me become even better._ Oliver hugged her tightly, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Felicity added, “I’ve been meaning to ask, have I earned a code name now?” She smiled from ear to ear.

_Leave it to you for the random questions._ Oliver thought for a bit. Only one thing came to mind “Safe Haven.”

Felicity leaned back against him, and he heard her sigh happily. It was true. She’d always been his safe haven, even before he realized it.


	27. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter and Thea return home, as Moira's trial begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the space in between updates. My brain needed a break to figure out JUST how I wanted to get them to Moira's trial. Bonus for this chapter - some Thea POV. Enjoy and thanks for the reads and reviews!

“How do I look?” Felicity asked Oliver for the tenth time since they had gotten dressed. She wore button up purple blouse with a bright blue scarf around her neck and slacks. Felicity had managed to cover the remaining bruises around her eye with makeup, but her neck was too much to try to cover. Oliver had mostly healed when it came to spots visual when dressed.

“Fine, stop worrying.” He took her hands in his and kissed her gently. “You’ve meet both of them before, why are you stressing now?” He couldn’t hold back the giggle.

“What if Thea asks me about what happen?” Felicity squeezed his hands.

“Then we’ll tell her.” Oliver tilted his head a little sideways. “Though I think she has always known mom was up to something bad.”

Felicity just nodded and hugged him. There was a small knock in the door. “Come in.” 

It was the maid. She had returned from her vacation yesterday. “Mr. Steele and Ms. Queen are back.”

“Thank you.” Oliver smiled, and then looked back at Felicity. “Ready?”

She nodded, and Oliver grabbed her hand. He held it all the way down stairs, and he was still holding it when Walter opened the door.

_________________

Thea practically raced past Walter and wrapped her arms around Oliver’s neck. She noticed him holding Felicity’s hand, gently squeezing it, and then letting go at the last possible second to grab her. Thea grins at Felicity over Oliver’s shoulder. As he put her down, she punched his arm as hard as she could. “THAT is for what you put us through, again.” Thea looks up at him, “But I’m glad you are okay, Ollie.” She smiled at him, and Felicity can’t help but laugh.

“I told you she was going to punch you, didn’t I?” 

Oliver rolls his eyes at both of them, “Welcome home, Speedy.” He looked over at Walter, “Thank you for watching after her and well, everything.”

Walter smiled, “No worries, son.”

Oliver pulled Walter aside, “Do you mind if we talk for a moment?”

“Not at all. Let me put my stuff down, and I’ll meet you in the study.”

Oliver looked back at Felicity and then at Thea, “Can I trust you two alone?”

“Of course, Ollie. I promise to not pry too much information out of your girlfriend.” Thea grinned, while Felicity blushed behind a giggle. “I do have to say, about damn time you realized.”

“Huh?” Oliver asked.

“You are always oblivious to what is right in front of your face.” Thea scolded him in only a way she could get away with. _Oh I’ve missed you, brother_ , she thought as she smiled at him.

Ollie shook his head at her, and Thea pulled Felicity upstairs to her room as Oliver went to meet Walter. Thea half way shoved Felicity in her room. “So, Blondie…”

Felicity started blushing as she sat on Thea’s bed. “Yes?”

“My brother.” Thea tossed her backpack on the bed and started digging through it.

“What about him?” She was still blushing.

“You and him. When did that happen?”

“It just sort of did? After Tommy died, Oliver just started talking. We talked a lot and grew closer.” Felicity closed her eyes briefly, “I’ve had a crush on him forever though.”

“You and half the city.” Thea laughed. “I’m happy for you two. Ollie seems so, just, I don’t know. Happy. I haven’t seen him happy like that in God knows when.” _I really do like the change you’ve brought out in him, Blondie._ “I got you something.”

“Thea, you didn’t have to!” Felicity turned to her. 

“You got my brother back for me.” Thea reminded her. She handed her a velvet lined necklace box. “I picked it up when we went through Ireland and Scotland. It’s a Celtic friendship knot.” 

Felicity ran her fingers over the silver knot. “It’s beautiful! Thank you!”

“Let’s see how it looks on you. Take the scarf off.” Thea noticed Felicity tense up and look like she had been shot.

“I’ll try it on later.” Felicity stuttered.

“Felicity, what’s wrong?” She sat down next to her.

“Nothing now, but I didn’t want to worry you.” Felicity admitted. “What did Oliver tell you when he called?”

“Not much, just that it was safe to come home. He talked more to Walter than me. Felicity, tell me what happened.”

Felicity untied the scarf and unbuttoned the first few buttons of her blouse. Thea felt a knot catch in her throat. “Malcolm kidnapped Oliver and me. We were beaten up pretty bad, but the Hood saved us.” Felicity paused for a moment. Thea watched her mouth open and close a few times like she was searching for the words. “The Hood killed Malcolm trying to save us.”

Thea shook her head, “I still can’t believe all that Malcolm has done. Did my mom have anything to do with this?” Felicity’s look said all Thea needed. “I’ve known she was up to no good for a while. I even told Ollie. Gah, I’m sorry, Felicity.”

“Don’t be, Thea. I’m alive. So are you, Oliver, Walter, and Walter. That’s what matters to me.”

“Does my mother know you two survived?” 

“No, well, partly.” Felicity grinned slightly. “Oliver’s made an appearance or two at the club this week. I have been hiding out though. She won’t see me until tomorrow in court.”

Thea’s brain went to the only reason Felicity would do that, “She wanted to trade your life for mine and Ollie’s didn’t she?”

Felicity looked down at her hands for a moment, and then back up at Felicity. “Yes.”

Thea hugged Felicity tightly. She was glad everyone was okay, but Thea was hurt by her mother’s actions. “There is only one way to deal with this.”

Felicity laughed as she pulled back from the hug. “What’s that?”

“Make sure you look damn fabulous for tomorrow.” Thea smirked. “Got anything in mind?”

Felicity grinned, “Actually, yes.”

Thea and Felicity discussed outfit options until Roy called her. Felicity excused herself and went to find Oliver.

___________________

“What did you want to talk about, Oliver?” Walter said as he shut the door.

Oliver watched his step-father walk over to one of the chairs on the opposite where he sat. “What happened.”

“Moira tried to trade Felicity’s life, for the life of Thea and me. Malcolm kidnapped us both and did almost kill Felicity. The Hood saved us.”

“You mean you?” Walter’s lips curled up in a slight grin. Oliver nodded. “Does Felicity know you are the Hood?”

Oliver knew he was smiling thinking about Felicity, “Yes. Since the night my mother shot me. Felicity saved my life that night.”

“I had a feeling, but she never gave up your secret. I talked with her about you in the hospital after you saved me.”

“Felicity had a huge part in us finding you. That’s why she originally agreed to help in the first place – to find you. She said you were nice to her.” 

Walter smiled, “She is a smart woman, and seems to be one that makes you very happy. Felicity cares about you so much, Oliver. I lost count the number of nights she stayed here when you were gone. You should have seen her face that day she walked into my office asking for help.”

Oliver’s curiosity popped up again. “Tell me.”

“This bright eyed look and so sure of herself. She knew you had to be there, and she knew what she needed to get to you.” Walter paused, “I couldn’t say no.”

“Thank you for helping her and Thea. I’m sorry I ran off.” Oliver looked down at his hands.

“Oliver, you and Thea are my best friend’s children. Regardless of what he or your mom have done, I will always care for you two as if you were my own.” He looked straight at Oliver, “And your secret will always be safe with me. I owe you my life.”

Oliver didn’t know what to say. When he first came home, he was so hateful and distrustful of Walter, but how wrong had he been. Before Oliver could say anything, Walter added, “I’m proud of the man you’ve become, Oliver.” There was a small knock at the door to the study. While Walter got up to see who it was, Oliver rubbed his eyes. His fingers came back damp.

_________________

Monday morning, Thea helped Felicity get ready. Felicity thought it was partly because she just missed her, and partly because she loved having someone to dress up. She didn’t complain, because she had always wanted a sister. Thea felt like that to her already. When Thea deemed her ready, Felicity went to Oliver’s room.

“You decent?” Felicity said as she popped open the door.

Oliver chuckled in reply. “Get in here.” 

Felicity opened the door to see Oliver dressed in a suit. “You know, if your day job ever falls through, you could easily be a model.”

“I don’t have a day job.” He grinned.

“Smart ass.” Felicity spun around. “So what do you think?” 

Oliver turned around and smirked, “You picked out the color, didn’t you?”

Felicity just grinned. “You like?”

“Yes, very much.” Oliver pulled her to him and kissed her. “Remind me next time you get pissed off just how viscous you can be.”

“What, little sweet Felicity?” She giggled as Oliver ran his hands along the curves of her hips.

“There is only one reason you picked that outfit to wear today.” 

“Maybe I’ve learned from someone lately just how much of a statement an outfit can make.” Felicity kissed Oliver before he could reply.

“Will you two stop making out before we are late? And Ollie if you ruin the outfit I helped her put together, I’ll kill you.” Thea said from the door and walked off before they could turn around.

Oliver and Felicity giggled. She saw the question in his eyes before he could ask it. Felicity answered, and his face relaxed.

__________________

Felicity stood at the back entrance to the courthouse with Diggle. Oliver, Thea, and Walter went in the front. Felicity kept staring at her cell phone waiting for it to go off.

“Looking at it isn’t going to make it happen faster, Felicity.” Dig chuckled at her.

“I know. I had all this “Let’s do this!” energy this past week, and now I’m waiting in the wings for my curtain call and I’m all panicky.” Thankfully her cell phone buzzed and stopped her ramble. “It’s time.”

Dig opened the door for Felicity, and the two of them navigated the hallways and one set of stairs before they got to Moira Queen’s court room. Some press was outside, but Diggle shielded her as she walked through them. No one really paid attention to her walking in the room. Oliver, Thea and Walter were sitting behind Moira. That was all part of this plan. There was enough room for Felicity to sit next to Oliver. She took a deep breath and continued walking.

“Good Morning, Mrs. Queen,” Felicity said as she stepped behind the defendant’s table. Oliver grabbed her hand tightly as she sat down next to him. Thea and Walter smiled.

Moira turned around and couldn’t hide the surprise on her face. “Hello,” she stuttered slightly. 

Felicity looked down at her dark green flowing blouse, then to Oliver and back to Moira. She leaned in as close as she could get to Moira, “Nice try, but you underestimated me and your son.”

Moira looked at Felicity with shock as she leaned back in her seat. Felicity’s pulse was racing. Oliver ran his thumb in circles on her palm to calm her down. He leaned in close, “You did awesome. I second never getting on your bad side.” Oliver lightly kissed her cheek. “And you look damn good in dark green.”

Felicity whispered in his ear, “So do you.”

The judge entered the courtroom, and Moira Queen’s trial began.


	28. Epilogue: Part 1 – The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity go on their first real date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of the end. I'm sorry for the delay in this update, but I've been writer's blocked on Arrow, as well as trying to figure out just HOW to wrap it up. The next three updates will be short little scenes. There are some time jumps in between them, which is why I have split them up like this. Enjoy, and thank you ALL for the support on this fic. =)

It had been a week and a half since the start of Moira’s trial. Felicity had returned to work, and Oliver had been helping out at Queen Consolidated, as well. Their lives had begun to find a normal pattern again, and Felicity had been staying back at her apartment. Thea was preparing to start college, and her relationship with Roy was doing well. Oliver had even stopped glaring at the poor kid every second Roy was in front of him. Felicity and Thea both threatened Oliver to cut him some slack. Oliver grumbled about the tag team that was Felicity and Thea.

One Friday evening, Oliver showed up to Felicity’s apartment. He was dressed in the gun metal grey suit of his that he knew Felicity loved. A white dress shirt, bright blue tie, and black dress shoes completed the look. 

Felicity opened the door to her apartment, and Oliver smiled. She wore a dark green knee length dress. Even since he saw her in the blouse the day of Moira’s trial, he had loved the sight of her in that color. It was different than when he saw her with her hood on, but even still, it reminded him of how she protected him. Her hair was cascading over her shoulders, and she had her contacts in. 

“Hey you,” She said as she opened the door. Oliver pulled her in close to him and kissed her. She giggled softly against his lips, and then returned with a kiss of her own. “So where are we going?” 

"Surprise." Oliver grinned.

“You have my complete attention, Oliver Queen.” Felicity held out her hand, and Oliver led her out of her apartment.

___________________

Oliver’s surprise was dinner at a rooftop restaurant downtown called – The Nest. The view was amazing in the clear night sky. 

“I wanted you to see what I see some nights,” Oliver said after they ordered their meals.

“It’s breathtaking. I’m starting to see the appeal of roof tops.” Felicity smiled. 

“You are so beautiful, Felicity.” Oliver said, reaching for her hand. He squeezed it tightly.

Felicity blushed, “Thanks.” She wrinkled her nose like she did every time he said it, and then she grinned happily. “It’s still hard to believe Oliver Queen is my boyfriend.”

“Even after all the time we’ve spent together?”

“Yes. The geek doesn’t usually get the quarterback model.” Felicity laughed.

“You are far from just a geek.” Oliver said, with a softness in his voice.

“And you are nowhere near the playboy the world thinks you are.” Felicity traced over his knuckles with her fingers.

“Can I do this?” Oliver’s voice was suddenly serious.

“Do what?”

“Be the hero.” Oliver looked down at their hands.

“You know I’ve always seen the hero in you, and I always will.” Felicity turned his hand over and began to trace his palm. “And I think you are starting to believe in yourself that just maybe you can be the hero this city needs.”

Oliver just looked at her and smiled. Felicity knew the look. It was the – You are right but I can’t put it in words – look. She brought his hand up to her lips and gently kissed it. They spent the rest of their date talking about an entire list of topics from embarrassing stories, to high school adventures, to college, and anything else that came to mind. Both of them were full of laughs and smiles, which they had needed so badly in the last few months.

__________________

As Oliver turned on the car, an emergency report came on the radio. There was a hostage situation in the Glades that Starling City P.D. was having difficulty with. Oliver looked over at Felicity to see her already looking up information on her phone. He smiled, “You don’t mind?”

“Side effects of dating a super hero. I’m totally living every geeky girl’s dream.” Felicity grinned at him. “Just don’t get hurt. That would be an awful way to end a first real date.”

Oliver just chuckled as he drove towards Verdant, “I love you, Felicity.”

“Love you, too,” Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me on [tumblr](http://lolanae.tumblr.com/)


	29. Epilogue: Part 2 - I Miss You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver misses Felicity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 down, one more to go. This storyline WILL continue on to a "season 2" of sorts. I've made a series of this AU - Aspects of Human Nature. If you subscribe to it, you'll get email updates when I start the new storyline. After I post the third and final epilogue, there will be a bit of a break on this story. I want to re-read it all and plan out what happens for the next part. I thank you ALL for your support on this adventure. I never guessed that I would have people that wanted to read this or that it would grow into what it has. Thank you all soooo much! This chapter brings the over all name of the story - Strong Enough - to completion. I hope you like it. =)

Felicity arrived to her apartment around midnight. Oliver and Diggle were finishing up an easy task in the Glades; so, Oliver told her she could head home early. It had been three weeks since being back in her apartment. She had missed falling asleep next to Oliver every night, but they also both wanted to have a normal relationship; which they hadn’t really had a chance to have. Felicity went to her bedroom and started to slip out of her pencil skirt and blouse. Her cell phone buzzed on her dresser.

Oliver: Safe Haven. 

Felicity smile. She loved her nickname and everything it had come to mean between the two of them. Smiling, she tapped out a reply to him.

Felicity: Always.

Sitting her phone back on her dresser, Felicity slipped a robe over her bra and panties. She walked to her kitchen and opened a bottle of red wine that Oliver had brought over the last time he was there. Felicity sat on the counter, sipping red wine from her glass. The corner where she sat, what seemed like ages ago now, when Oliver kissed her for the first time. A world’s worth of pain, love, happiness, frustration, sadness, and every emotion in between had happened since then. More than once they thought they had lost each other, and no matter what the world had thrown at them, they came back stronger. Both of them seemed to be relaxing when it came to the fear, but neither of them ever forgot just how dangerous Oliver’s life as the Hood made things.

Felicity smiled to herself when she heard a key in the door to her apartment, which lead to Oliver standing in her kitchen. He had changed back into his normal clothes, a t-shirt and jeans. “I’ve missed you, Felicity.” Oliver said, smiling at her.

“You just saw me a few hours ago, and we talked less than an hour ago.” Felicity grinned as he walked towards her. She had an arm out stretched with a glass of wine for him. He took a sip, and then sat it on the counter.

“I’ve missed you.” He repeated, stepping in between her legs. Oliver took her wine glass out of her hand and sat it next to his. 

Felicity’s heart still raced when Oliver got this close to her. “You see me every day.”

“I’ve missed you.” Oliver pulled the tie open on her silken robe, slipping his arms around her bare waist. Felicity’s back arched slightly with his movement.

“I’ve missed you, too.” She grinned. 

“I grew more used to waking up to you than I had realized,” Oliver whispered as he kissed her neck. “I miss that.”

“We said we wanted to keep my apartment.” Oliver was kissing around her collar bone which made Felicity’s voice hitch for a moment. “A place to get away and be alone.” 

“Yes, we did.” Oliver was nearing her breasts with his kisses.

“So what is your plan to fix this, Mr. Queen?” Felicity giggled softly.

“Come home to you every night, whether here, my house, or wherever you are.” Oliver was looking at her now, smiling. “I’m done being alone.”

“So are you finally ready to admit that you were wrong on shutting everyone out, and that I was right?” Felicity smirked.

Oliver grabbed her and picked her up. She laughed as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. “I’m not strong enough to stay away, Felicity.” Oliver kissed her neck as he walked them back to Felicity’s bedroom.

“Me neither,” she whispered.

_______________

The two of them had accepted that at any moment they could be ripped from each other again or forever. After Malcolm, they made a vow to each other to enjoy every moment they could. Oliver tried his best to live in the moment, not in the past, at least when it came to his life with Felicity. She was the light in his life still. His demons and nightmares were still there, and her presence helped keep them at bay some. Oliver would later admit to her that is why he had missed her so much the nights they had been apart. His nightmares had returned without her there to keep him grounded. Felicity would also admit the same to Oliver. Together they were stronger than they were apart, and for once in months, neither of them were afraid to live life.

______________

"Not Strong Enough"  
(feat. Brent Smith of Shinedown)  
I'm not strong enough to stay away.  
Can't run from you  
I just run back to you.  
Like a moth I'm drawn in to your flame,  
Say my name, but it's not the same.  
You look in my eyes, I'm stripped of my pride.  
And my soul surrenders, and you bring my heart to its knees.

[Chorus:]  
And it's killin' me when you're away, I wanna leave and I wanna stay.  
And I'm so confused, So hard to choose.  
Between the pleasure and the pain.  
And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right.  
Even if I try to win the fight, my heart would overrule my mind.  
And I'm not strong enough to stay away

I'm not strong enough to stay away  
What can I do  
I would die without you  
In your presence my heart knows no shame  
I'm not to blame  
Cause you bring my heart to it's knees

[Chorus]

There's nothing I can do  
My heart is chained to you  
And I can't get free  
Look what this love's done to me

[Chorus]

Not strong enough, strong enough  
Not strong enough, strong enough  
To stay away  
Not strong enough, strong enough  
Not strong enough, strong enough  
I'm not strong enough to stay away


	30. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moira's verdict is in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we have the end! This WILL CONTINUE! (Remember to follow Aspects of Nature Series!) So don't give up hope. =) Thank you all again so much for the support this fic has gotten. I really had zero idea anyone would read this. Y'all know how to make a girl smile. Feel free to come find me on Twitter or Tumblr as Lolanae.

Two weeks later, Moira Queen’s verdict was in. Oliver, Thea, and Felicity were in the front row. Thea and Felicity flanked Oliver; while John sat on the other side of Thea. Walter did not attend since the public relations department at Queen Consolidated wanted to distance themselves from the entire mess as much as possible. Moira looked surprised when she walked in and saw the four faces in the front row. Oliver’s hands were being held by Thea and Felicity, and all of them were emotionless. 

There was an odd quiet in the courtroom, and all of the reporters had been forced to stay outside in front of the courthouse. The judge came in and court was called to order.  
“Foreman of the Jury, you have reached a verdict?” The judge asked.

“Yes, your honor.” The foreman handed a piece of paper to a clerk, who took it to the judge. Once the judge read it, the clerk returned it to the foreman. 

“Moira Queen, please stand.” The judge said, and Moira, along with her attorneys stood up.

The foreman read the verdict. Guilty on everything they had charged her with. Felicity squeezed Oliver’s hand, and Diggle already had his arm around Thea. 

What happened next was a blur - Shattering glass from the windows that ran the top edge of the courtroom. Screams. Oliver and John pushed Felicity and Thea to the ground on instinct; both of them standing in defensive positions over the two women. That’s when they looked in front of them. Moira Queen was dead. Two bullets to the chest.

“Oliver, what happened?” Thea cried out from the floor. 

“John, get them out of here,” Oliver snapped, as he pulled Felicity up, wrapping an arm around her waist. Felicity looked back just quickly enough to see Moira.

John had Thea by the waist. She screamed when she saw her mother. John looked back at Oliver and Felicity. All three of them recognizing just who pulled the trigger. Recognizing that there were still puppet masters out there that controlled the action. Recognizing that there was someone that wanted to make sure that Moira Queen never talked.

Two bullets killed Moira Queen. Two bullets brought back an old threat. Two bullets opened the door to another mystery. 

Mysteries need to be solved.


End file.
